hot girl, not so hot guy

[Trialbyfire]

Girls don't value looks in a relationship as much as guys.

Women value attractiveness on multiple levels and is highly subjective.

 

For example, a guy like Zac Efron looks like a baby to me, with no life experience, depth or wisdom in him. From what I understand, the teeny-boppers and younger women are going ballistic for him.

 

Hugh Laurie's one where many of the ladies on LS find hot. I find him geeky, spastic and neurotic, therefore, he's unattractive to me.

[Isolde]

Hugh Laurie's one where many of the ladies on LS find hot. I find him geeky, spastic and neurotic, therefore, he's unattractive to me.

 

:lmao: You're hilarious.

 

OP, women do care about looks, in that we each have pretty defined ideas of what's attractive to us, it's just that most of us don't necessarily want a conventionally pretty-boy.

 

For example, I like tall, gangly, WASPy, slightly nerdy guys, and to me they're just the epitome of hawt, whereas to other girls they might not be.

 

Most women base physical attraction upon the whole guy rather than just his looks, such that the better they get to know him, the more physically attracted they become. Men don't always operate that way, though they will if they're in love/deeply invested.

[gopher]

:lmao: You're hilarious.

 

OP, women do care about looks, in that we each have pretty defined ideas of what's attractive to us, it's just that most of us don't necessarily want a conventionally pretty-boy.

 

For example, I like tall, gangly, WASPy, slightly nerdy guys, and to me they're just the epitome of hawt, whereas to other girls they might not be.

 

Most women base physical attraction upon the whole guy rather than just his looks, such that the better they get to know him, the more physically attracted they become. Men don't always operate that way, though they will if they're in love/deeply invested.

 

Isolde...That part really rings true...I know she thinks I'm physically attractive, because she said so right off the bat in her first email. But, I know too that she really likes "me" because I'm a good communicator, funny and intellegent( her words). Also, I didn't bring her looks up right away, I took time to get to know her and shared more of myself than I typically do. Her biggest complaint about online dating is all the emails she gets that just say "You're hot" and the sexual innuendo that always surfaces when guy make it to a phone call. As hot as she is lookswise, I am focused on how well we connect in all the other important areas.

 

We'll see what happens on Sunday...keep your fingers crossed for me.

[Jersey Shortie]

I will never understand why women like that Hugh Laurie guy. He's a douche. Zac Effron, I get. He's a cutie. I personally like Jon Stewart and Damien Lewis.

 

So, I asked her for a date and she readily agreed, I probably could have asked her out the first time we spoke.

 

I think it's better that you didn't. Keep in mind that you should be asking yourself first if *she* is right for you. Not if *you* are right for her. Just remind yourself of that. You're both going into to see if you really like the other person, not to only see if she likes you.

 

One more piece of advice. Do not, under any circumstances, until your are tightly invovled with this girl and your looking back laughing about the past, mention to her that you feel less attractive then her.

[gopher]

Thanks Jersey,

 

 

Great points about not mentioning the looks and how I feel. Also, you are 100% correct how I should be worried if she is right for me rather than the opposite. It's a trap I get caught up in...

[carhill]

I will never understand why women like that Hugh Laurie guy. He's a douche.

So that's why he's been married twenty years, has three children and is a pretty darned good musician besides being a great comedian and actor. News-flash: He's not "House", but his acting abilities make the hatred for the character possible. I'll have some of his douche

 

OP, I was kind of shocked when I saw this thread. I always presumed from your posts that you were/are really on top of your game and would never let such a woman get under your skin. Well, beauty is a weakness of yours. Glad you know that. Makes the next choice much easier... Oh, crap, not enough coffee....thought this was MDM's thread. Sorry about that.

[Trialbyfire]

I went and googled Laurie's biography and noticed a couple of movies he's been in. For the life of me, I can't remember the guy. He's never stood out for me, one way or the other.

 

And yes, the neurotic, geeky and spastic perception comes from watching a couple of episodes of House M.D.. That character is whiny. One of the few times that intellect easily gets trumped by his piss poor behaviours.

 

Sunday? That's not too far away. She's human and has already expressed attraction. Don't be intimidated by looks. The best side of you will shine through when you're relaxed and having a good time. Don't, just don't become neurotic like Laurie playing House!

[gopher]

So that's why he's been married twenty years, has three children and is a pretty darned good musician besides being a great comedian and actor. News-flash: He's not "House", but his acting abilities make the hatred for the character possible. I'll have some of his douche

 

OP, I was kind of shocked when I saw this thread. I always presumed from your posts that you were/are really on top of your game and would never let such a woman get under your skin. Well, beauty is a weakness of yours. Glad you know that. Makes the next choice much easier... Oh, crap, not enough coffee....thought this was MDM's thread. Sorry about that.

 

LOL!!! Carhill....

[gopher]

I went and googled Laurie's biography and noticed a couple of movies he's been in. For the life of me, I can't remember the guy. He's never stood out for me, one way or the other.

 

And yes, the neurotic, geeky and spastic perception comes from watching a couple of episodes of House M.D.. That character is whiny. One of the few times that intellect easily gets trumped by his piss poor behaviours.

 

Sunday? That's not too far away. She's human and has already expressed attraction. Don't be intimidated by looks. The best side of you will shine through when you're relaxed and having a good time. Don't, just don't become neurotic like Laurie playing House![/QUOTE]

 

 

Totally true TBF...In practice, I'm just myself...but LS gives me a chance to vent and get others opinions and suggestions....I know the easiest way to have this go nowhere is to get caught up in the looks trap. And like Jersey said, I don't even know if I like her or am attracted to her in person yet...I have to decide if it's something I want and not worry about anything else, at least at this point.

 

Speaking of Laurie....check out Jeeves and Wooster, you wouldn't know it's the same actor...

[carhill]

Speaking of Laurie....check out Jeeves and Wooster, you wouldn't know it's the same actor...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWnB0hQWGdI

 

[Trialbyfire]

Thanks for the clip.

 

I just watched it and found he has the same twitchiness, where his body language and facial expressions are too quick and sudden, like the way a bird moves. His verbal pattern is off too, where it rises too quickly to unattractive decibals.

 

Sorry guys but my impression still stands, although with the different character, the neurosis is gone, thank...goodness!

[carhill]

 

 

Gopher, as you can see, it's OK to be twitchy as long as you're sincere and multi-talented. Being yourself is the key. TBF is alluding to that, even though she doesn't particularly care for Hugh. His intrinsic mannerisms come through sincerely.

[Isolde]

There's something so real about Laurie, isn't there? He was hot in Blackadder!

[gopher]

 

 

Gopher, as you can see, it's OK to be twitchy as long as you're sincere and multi-talented. Being yourself is the key. TBF is alluding to that, even though she doesn't particularly care for Hugh. His intrinsic mannerisms come through sincerely.

 

Thanks Carhill...I'm very much myself in my writing and talking on the phone, no pretense there. In person, I'm a bit shyer at first, then I warm up.

 

On Laurie, since I saw him in Jeeves and Wooster, I prefer that over house. I'm a huge British television fan. and the american accent throws me off.

[Trialbyfire]

Hey gopher, this thread just goes to prove that attractiveness is highly subjective! Look at the difference between Isolde's tastes and mine.

 

You come across as a great guy. Just be yourself and if she's attracted and you're still attracted after the initial meet and greet, it's all good.

[anne1707]

There's something so real about Laurie, isn't there? He was hot in Blackadder!

 

Hugh Laurie as House is definitely sexy. Smart, successful, those eyes, sarcastic, wicked streak....

 

Before House, however, he never did a thing for me

[carhill]

Before House, however, he never did a thing for me

 

Interesting how that works, eh?

 

Perhaps a good example of the bad boy attraction theory.....

[gopher]

Hey gopher, this thread just goes to prove that attractiveness is highly subjective! Look at the difference between Isolde's tastes and mine.

 

You come across as a great guy. Just be yourself and if she's attracted and you're still attracted after the initial meet and greet, it's all good.

 

Thanks TBF for the compliment. I'm one of those "nice guys", far from a bad boy. In the past I was a tad anxious about relationships, especially when it came to someone I really liked. Now though, I am so busy and happy in my life, that a relationship would be icing on the cake. A much healthier attitude I'm thinking.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Make you wonder what?

 

My last boyfriend was very conventionally attractive. Commitment to any one woman had always been difficult for him, and boy, I felt it.

 

Wonder what your thinking!

 

So, your basing that whole generalization on your experience with 1 guy?

 

I tend to generate a lot of female attention... that doesn't mean I have problems making a commitment. Date men that you are attracted to... don't go for the ugly ones because they make you feel safe.

[Isolde]

Hugh Laurie as House is definitely sexy. Smart, successful, those eyes, sarcastic, wicked streak....

 

Before House, however, he never did a thing for me

 

Whereas I almost prefer his more innocent, yet goofy side in his earlier works. I've never really gravitated to bad-boy appeal, even the semblance of it.

[sumdude]

Everyone finds different things attractive physically, emotionally and intellectually. I know one guy who has a thing for really big girls so there you go.

 

Some women look at a big jowly slobbery bulldog and go "Ohhh how cute!"

 

Me? I look a bit like I fell off the Ukrainian boxing team's bus. Some women totally dig it and others don't ... so don' worry 'bout it.

 

Make her laugh, treat her well, be a man and it'll all be OK.

[gopher]

Everyone finds different things attractive physically, emotionally and intellectually. I know one guy who has a thing for really big girls so there you go.

 

Some women look at a big jowly slobbery bulldog and go "Ohhh how cute!"

 

Me? I look a bit like I fell off the Ukrainian boxing team's bus. Some women totally dig it and others don't ... so don' worry 'bout it.

 

Make her laugh, treat her well, be a man and it'll all be OK.

 

Thanks....very concise and to the point advice....I totally agree.

[7117]

Gopher your in good shape here my man.Everybody has given really good advice just be confident that is the true key.Best of luck go for it nothing to lose.

[missdependant]

It's like that old saying:

 

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

 

Maybe she really does thinks your pictures are hot.

 

That said, insecurity can be a major turn off. More so than a face that isn't perfect.

 

Try and be confident so you don't scare her away.

[gopher]

Thanks all, lots of great advice here...and the biggest takeaway is being confident...That will be my focal point for myself, and getting to know who she is. We are going to have a great time on Sunday!