cp3 Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 Long story short me and my gf have been dating for almost 2 years now. A couple times throughout our relationship I have been suspicious of her, (talking to other guys, hanging out with them) but she has always been completely honest with me about everything, and so Ive built up a lot of trust in her. But, about a week ago she left her myspace page open, and I started curiously looking thru it.. And to my surprise she had a couple long messages from her ex-bf. I read thru it, and it made me pretty upset. She told him that "he was the best friend she had ever had", and that she still thinks about their friendship alot and misses it. She also talked to him about me, and he talked to her about his gf.. But I was still pretty upset. She only dated this guy for a couple weeks, but they were really good friends for a couple years before that.. So I thought that obviously she just misses the friendship part of their relationship, since she said that their "romantic" relationship didnt work out at all. Hence why they only dated for 2 weeks. But, my question is this: Why would she start talking to him again? ESPECIALLY telling him that he was the best friend she had ever had? That hurt me quite a bit to read that.. And I cant stop wondering what her motive is in talking to him again after over a year? Whats the point? The only reason I would have for talking to an ex-gf is to get back together with her.. But Im sure there's people here that talk to ex's... Whats the reason for it? Thanks for any insight.
bean1 Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 I recently went through a similar incident although I did not look at any email/myspace, he directly asked me if I minded if his ex came over for a visit while she was in town (she lives 6-8 hours away and hasn't been here in 2 years). I believe that I had a similar reaction to you because I was unaware they were in contact (lived together a long time but no children). Anyways, my first reaction was "HEY YOU DONT NEED TO TALK TO HER!!" and didn't really understand how someone could go from in love to "just friends". She ended up coming over in the morning for tea and it was quite obvious to me that they were just old buddies catching up rather than anything illusive. She is with you, not him. They only dated for 2 weeks, I don't think any real bond can form in that time. I would recommend that the three of you hang out some time and you can see for yourself how it is. I have to be honest though - you are going to have to come up with a good explanation for reading that behind her back. I didn't have that problem so I'm not sure how to appraoch it.
Lacey08 Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 I have been that girl and any time I contacted my ex-boyfriends it was more out of let me see how they are. It does though bring up the memories whether they are good or bad and I did realize that it could really damage the relationship I was in at the time and I didn't want it to be done to me so I put myself in that position. Thats what you need to ask her how would you feel and she really needs to not do it because its hurting you and she needs to know that. hope this helps
Shock Me Sane Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 You shouldn't be going through her messages and invading her privacy. Period. And two weeks doesn't really count as a relationship. She's obviously not into him. They're friends. Don't freak out.
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