dreamergrl Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 So I just got done deleting and removing all traces of ex. No phone numbers, no social networking, no emails, no instant messengers, no nothing. It was hard deleting the very last contact option. I can't lie about that. But hopefully this is it. Not sure what the next steps are. Not sure where to go from here. I've been trying to concentrate on myself. I do wish I had more companionship. But maybe that will come in time.
Ruby Slippers Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 I do wish I had more companionship. But maybe that will come in time. Make it happen. When I broke up last September, I put some time and effort into my friendships, and they have taken off far beyond my expectations. I got in touch with acquaintances and started spending more time with them. The two girls who have become my closest friends also broke up right around when I did, so we have created this amazing support system with one another. I introduced them to each other as well. One of them had a death in the family recently, and she was so glad that we were there for her. Investing energy into your friendships is one of the best things you can do for yourself right now.
Author dreamergrl Posted May 6, 2009 Author Posted May 6, 2009 I don't know why, but I've always had trouble having female friends. I've always gotten along better with guys. I have like one friend (but we don't talk much) that is female. She was my best friend growing up. I've tried making female friends in the past, but most want nothing to do with me. I've never understood it, and if it's something I'm doing wrong, I would love to fix it.
jayOG Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 Chill by yourself, Amazing what you can learn. I don't know if you are the athletic type, pick up a class strictly for working out. Write, read, draw.... Make some $. Just spend some time thinking about yourself and improving yourself. Because on the way you will find someone cool people or they will find you. I don't talk to anyone and still i'm like gravity, i just focus on myself and helping the ones that have been straight to me. Everybody wants to with people on the up and up, not some sad pity party. Just work to your fullest potential and watch out cause people will be all over you and life will be good.
tinklebell Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 dreamergrl, I hope you get there. It won't be easy but you should know you're doing the right thing.
Star Gazer Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 Good job, Dreamr! As for friends... I recommend you join a charitable organization. It's a great way to make friends while keeping busy and doing something to really make you feel good about yourself and your community.
Author dreamergrl Posted May 6, 2009 Author Posted May 6, 2009 All great ideas! I'm wondering, are there any other ladies on here that have trouble making female friends?
manugeorge Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 All great ideas! I'm wondering, are there any other ladies on here that have trouble making female friends? Friends are generally hard to make the older you get. Especially if you are no longer in school. It won't come as easy as it use to, you have to make a conscious effort to seek out like minded folks. I suggest joining a club for an activity that interests you. This will not only bring you closer to women and men who share your interests but will also let you occupy your time and your mind with something else besides this ex of yours. Try meet-ups, they have helped me get over many break-ups
Ruby Slippers Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 When women say they have trouble making female friends, a red flag goes up for me. Most women want good friends, so this should not be difficult. Are you a good friend? Are you competitive or gossipy? Do you take the initiative to come up with ideas for fun things to do? Are you encouraging and supportive? If you behave like a good friend, you can make good friends. Male friends are fine, but few of them will ever understand what you, as a woman, are going through like another woman will.
Author dreamergrl Posted May 7, 2009 Author Posted May 7, 2009 I've only really kept a few close friends over the years to be honest. I guess it's safe to say, it's hard for me to form bonds with anyone straight out. I wasn't close with many people my whole life. When I am close to someone though, I'm very loyal, I do my best to be their for the person, and I work to make the relationship (whatever type of one it is)work. I value the people I am close to, and don't take it for granted.
Isolde Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 While I have more female friends than male friends, (but not a lot of either sex, really), I've lately begun to find my guy friendships more satisfying in the kinds of conversations we have. That said, it's so important to have girlfriends! While I wouldn't want to shop with a bunch of girls every week, it's so fun to be able to do that once in a while, or just get lunch and chat about boys. The truth is, a lot of people, both male and female, suck and are unreliable/flaky/self-centred/unwilling to make time. It takes time to wade through that. I met all my good friends quite randomly and honestly, none of them required undue effort on my part; it was always a reciprocal effort. I've often wondered why it's so easy for me to make superficial acquaintances and so hard to make actually friends; but I think that's somewhat true of everyone. Friendships require a certain degree of chemistry and comfort level between two people, just like relationships do.
likestolaugh Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 I've been a bit out of touch... is it over with the guy who's currently living away for a few months?
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 All great ideas! I'm wondering, are there any other ladies on here that have trouble making female friends? Yes. And I don't get it. They're all super-flakes. They SAY we should "get together sometime to hang out" and when I try to plan for it, all I get are excuses. But you know, I'm not super-girly-girl, either. I have a hard time relating to other women sometimes. I'm kind of a loner, too. I think it's just easier that way.
Author dreamergrl Posted May 7, 2009 Author Posted May 7, 2009 I've been a bit out of touch... is it over with the guy who's currently living away for a few months? Yeah Yes. And I don't get it. They're all super-flakes. They SAY we should "get together sometime to hang out" and when I try to plan for it, all I get are excuses. But you know, I'm not super-girly-girl, either. I have a hard time relating to other women sometimes. I'm kind of a loner, too. I think it's just easier that way. I can completely relate to this! I have my girly moments, but I have a hard time conversing with other girls. I also tend to have my loner moments.
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