noki Posted October 21, 2003 Posted October 21, 2003 okay, my boyfriend decided to do some extra work for the holiday season and since he is working more evenings now i thought i would do the same. he told me of this place that is hiring so i went there last week and then yesterday i got a card in the mail basically a rejection letter. i told him about it today and he said he would call this person he knows that works there to see what she could do. i did not want him calling anyone on my behalf because i feel that i am or that i would be like begging for a job or seem so desperate. either way it just did not seem right for him to do this for me, and i told him do not do it! so now he is mad at me, and just hung up on me, i could hear the anger in his voice. please someone, anyone, tell me if i am wrong for this feeling that he should not be doing this for me or is this all right to do and i am over reacting? thanks for all help and replys.
CaterpillarGirl Posted October 21, 2003 Posted October 21, 2003 Many men don't know how to deal with a woman confessing a frustration or hassle (trying to find a job) in their life. I think guys more than women take the "let's fix the problem", rather than the "let's support our woman in her struggle" approach. Just another Mars-Venus thing, you might say. You are absolutely right. If you do not feel comfortable with his "pulling strings", you should definitely not allow it. It is your career, not his, and your responsibility, not his to get a job. How would he feel going to work knowing that his girlfriend got him his job? Not that proud, I'd bet. You will feel much happier in a job you earn for yourself. Tell him you appreciate his willingness to expend his effort in order to help you find a job, but what you really need is someone to hold you when you are feeling discouraged and cheer you on when you try again.
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