jqb05443 Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 I was with my bf for over 3.5 years. He is 33 I am 30. He broke up with about 3 weeks ago and we had NC for over one week until I finally broke last Monday and since then it has pretty much just been me trying to have conversations with him via text. After a brief conversation on Sunday I told him that I was taking off of work yesterday and that I was going to his house to drop off his things and to talk to him because I needed closure. He agreed to the meeting and I went to see him yesterday. To be honest I was hoping that once he saw me that we would reconnect and that we would work things out. That was my intention anway. When I got there and we saw eachother for the first time it was actually really nice. He couldn't stop smiling and we were just catching up for about an hour. At one moment he came over and sat by me and kindof had his head on my arm. I kept looking at my watch as I was nervous and he kept saying where are you going? Do you have a date or something? We ended up going to lunch and his friend happened to be at the restaurant so we ended up sitting with him and his friend pretty much just talked to my ex the whole time. When we left the sushi place we went back to his place and he said that he had rented bride wars the night before and i made a comment that i wanted to see that and he said ok let's watch it. We went up to his room and watched the movie. I made sure to keep my distance but he was being affectionate and rubbing my back, stroking my hair and arms while the movie was going on. PS after the movie we fooled around. Afterwards I felt like an idiot and that's when I broke down and told him how I felt. I was crying and he was crying and he said that its not exactly easy for him either. he said that he is just confused and doesn't know what he wants. He was let go from his job 2 months ago and he lost substantial amount of money on one of those Ponzi crooks. He lives at home and now is no position to moveout. He said that he felt like his life was going through alot of changes with the no job situation and the monely loss. I asked him if there was someone else and he said no. He just didn't know what he wanted and months leading up to our break up he felt like the spark was gone. Meanwhile he would call me babe a few times while he was talking and kept asking to hold me and hug. We both agreed that it was really nice to see eachother and we felt good about it. We both said that we haven't felt this good around eachother in a long time. We agreed that we would hang out again but never set a date. He said something about maybe seeing eachother everyweek but i wasn't sure if he was joking or not. So i said (and i don't know why) how about next month and he said ok. When I left he gave me a big hug and kissed me on the lips goodbye. I text him this morning that I had a nice time yesterday and whether he was joking around or not when he said that we could hang out once a week? He responded with he doesn't know about once a week but that we could def. hang out. I then said ok. next month or before then? And he never wrote back. He had to have an MRI done yesterday after I left so I text him back after getting a no response about when we can hangout again asking how his MRI went. He text me back that it went ok and that he would get the results on Friday. He never responded to my text about when we could see eachother again. I left it at that and never responded. What do you guys think about this? Does it seem like he wants to take it slow or was he just playing with my emotions yesterday? I am so confused and hurt because we both agreed yesterday that we felt like things felt good between us yesterday.
Flying Burrito Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 I text him this morning that I had a nice time yesterday and whether he was joking around or not when he said that we could hang out once a week? He responded with he doesn't know about once a week but that we could def. hang out. I then said ok. next month or before then? And he never wrote back. He had to have an MRI done yesterday after I left so I text him back after getting a no response about when we can hangout again asking how his MRI went. He text me back that it went ok and that he would get the results on Friday. He never responded to my text about when we could see eachother again. I left it at that and never responded. What do you guys think about this? Does it seem like he wants to take it slow or was he just playing with my emotions yesterday? I am so confused and hurt because we both agreed yesterday that we felt like things felt good between us yesterday. For f*cks sake, the man lost his job, his finances and apparently he is having a health issue because he needed an MRI and all you care about is having your ego stoked and stroked. Stop pushing and let the man get his bearings straight. What you described sounds genuine enough. He'll either come to you or he won't but pushing isn't the answer. While you're at it, try to consider that he has other things pressing on his mind than you right now. Its not all about you.
bluewolf17 Posted June 18, 2009 Posted June 18, 2009 jqb05443, I just got caught up on your posts. It sounds like your ex is very confused. I am sure he still cares for you, but the question is to what extend. Does he just miss you, the company, the closeness? We don't know that, and really, it's best not to ask. You have told him how you felt. Please take my advice. Stay NC, if you haven't already. It is REALLY REALLY HARD. You will find reasons to call him, but don't. Delete all his contact info (even thought its memorized) delete emails, remove pictures and reminders. You have to just beleive that it's over, and move on. You have to get used to living your life, without him. Trust me, everyone has gone through this at some point. Everyone gets hurt. What matters is how you deal with it. You can't take back what you have already done since the break up. If anything, in the end don't you want to look back and be able to say "I had grace with the breakup. I respected myself, and I was honest with him". That's the best you can do. Now is the time to withdrawl gracefully. If you must, tell him that for now, you thing NC is best, and stick with it! Remind yourself that he knows how you feel, and him not calling you, is a sign that it still doesn't matter. If he changes his mind, trust me, he will contact you. Please be strong and take care of yourself. You will get through everthing, with or without him. Keep me posted. Bluewolf17
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