Loxx Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 Hey folks, I could use a little advice. I havent been single in 10 years and married when i was 24 and with same girl since i was 21, so im very rusty. My question is that when i am out (normal day Stuff) i notice some women looking at me. Sometimes turning to look at me, but i dont really ever notice any smiles or more of a forward Flirt of invitation. If a Woman actually wants you to approach them will they smile at your or something. The other day me and my son were in chick fil a, and i noticed this beautiful woman looking at me a few times. I go into the play place, only adult in there, and she comes in about a minute later. I try to small talk with her, though pleasent she didnt seem to try to keep the conversation going. so when my son was finished i up and left, and i could see her looking at me again, with almost a disappointed look. Ok maybe im imagining things but its what i felt.
BCCA Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 If a Woman actually wants you to approach them will they smile at your or something. From my experience, rarely. Youre usually just forced to try talking to them and see what happens. And even with that, I find that a lot of people play hard to get, or act disinterested initially, and then wonder why the guy bailed. Here is the only advice I can give regarding meeting women: expect looking to suck. Expect to get a lot of mixed signals (as you experienced) and expect that most women will do next to nothing to let you know they are interested.
refurb Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 Here is the only advice I can give regarding meeting women: expect looking to suck. Expect to get a lot of mixed signals (as you experienced) and expect that most women will do next to nothing to let you know they are interested. That's probably the best advice I've seen in this forum so far. Finding someone worth developing a long-term, deep relationship with isn't going to be easy. A few lucky people fall into those relationships, but for the vast majority you really have to go through a lot of uncomfortable crap before you find someone. RF
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 I don't know if it's because I'm oblivious to a guy showing interest, but I can't say I really overtly do anything to let a guy know I'm interested. Part of it could also be that I'm really absorbed in whatever task it is I'm doing, and also that I tend to be a little shy. I have a BF now, so really don't pay much attention to guys at all when I'm out and about (ADD can do that for you - hyperfocus). I think meeting people out and about like that would be the HARDEST thing ever. So I agree with BCCA - just cast a line out there and if you get a bite, great! Just don't expect too much. I'll be the first to admit that women can be very confusing.
spiracles Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 not to thread-jack, but this prompts another question. i've had girls bite their lip when looking at me, it was kind of to one side, and ordinarily i wouldn't think anything of it but it has happened more than once. is it a coincidence, or was that supposed to mean something? i apologize in advance for the stupid question.
Ruby Slippers Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 Usually the most I will do if I feel drawn to a guy is make eye contact with him more than once. But I will also do that if he is funny looking, so you never know. This guy and I exchanged like TEN glances on public transit the other day, and I felt this powerful magnetism toward him, which is very unusual for me based on looks alone. It wasn't just that, though -- there was something about him that just felt right to me. As I exited, I was wishing he would ask me for my number.
Charles1978 Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 One look doesn't usually mean much. But two, three, or more? There's interest. I love that stuff, and like you it happens to me pretty often. My main problem is that, more often than not, I don't act upon it. Most recently... and I wish more girls would do this... she just walked right up and asked if I had a g/f. Her and her friends had a wager on it, which was flattering. Point being that we had made eye contact probably four times or so before she made a move. But that made me immediately attracted to her. But anyway, yeah... I wouldn't consider one look an indication of interest. Two, there might be a shot. But multiple looks... yep, she's interested from my experience.
green apples Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 My question is that when i am out (normal day Stuff) i notice some women looking at me. Sometimes turning to look at me, but i dont really ever notice any smiles or more of a forward Flirt of invitation. The other day me and my son were in chick fil a, and i noticed this beautiful woman looking at me a few times. I go into the play place, only adult in there, and she comes in about a minute later. I try to small talk with her, though pleasent she didnt seem to try to keep the conversation going. so when my son was finished i up and left, and i could see her looking at me again, with almost a disappointed look. Ok maybe im imagining things but its what i felt. Were these women looking or staring? About how long were the looks? I agree that women/men would smile if they wanted you to approach or at least drop some kind of hints. But everyone's different and some may either suck at body language and others may be too shy.
green apples Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 Usually the most I will do if I feel drawn to a guy is make eye contact with him more than once. But I will also do that if he is funny looking, so you never know. This guy and I exchanged like TEN glances on public transit the other day, and I felt this powerful magnetism toward him, which is very unusual for me based on looks alone. It wasn't just that, though -- there was something about him that just felt right to me. As I exited, I was wishing he would ask me for my number. Ruby Slippers, did you smile at the guy on the public transit? Or drop any hints that it's okay for him to approach you? I've heard that before, that people usually look more for two reasons, either you're good looking or weird/bad looking.
dreamergrl Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 I'm a bit shy, so I don't know if this helps, but when a guy catches me looking and checking him out, I tend to look down or away. I get nervous.
Ruby Slippers Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 Ruby Slippers, did you smile at the guy on the public transit? Or drop any hints that it's okay for him to approach you? I've heard that before, that people usually look more for two reasons, either you're good looking or weird/bad looking. I didn't smile AT him, but after repeated glances, I cracked this big grin and looked away. Couldn't help it. He seemed a little shy. So am I, at first.
green apples Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 I didn't smile AT him, but after repeated glances, I cracked this big grin and looked away. Couldn't help it. He seemed a little shy. So am I, at first. And he didn't smile back? Many times I wonder how people look at each other and don't develop the "inside joke" between them. Like c'mon, both of us what each of us is doing, so let's stop it and just break the ice."
Author Loxx Posted May 6, 2009 Author Posted May 6, 2009 Were these women looking or staring? About how long were the looks? I agree that women/men would smile if they wanted you to approach or at least drop some kind of hints. But everyone's different and some may either suck at body language and others may be too shy. No these are not just looking around and im in their line of site type looks. The example i gave in my orginal post, Every time i looked up she would be looking at me, when our eyes met ,she would look away. Not that looking away bothers me, I think it would be kinda ackward if neither person looked away. I maybe getting checked out because im odd looking or terribly ugly, who knows. I really do not think thats the case since i have been told by several woman at my office otherwise, and even been called "eye candy" from a very cute woman 10 years younger then myself.
carhill Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 I maybe getting checked out because im odd looking or terribly ugly, who knows Once you stop thinking like that, the right signals will get out
Author Loxx Posted May 6, 2009 Author Posted May 6, 2009 Once you stop thinking like that, the right signals will get out Thanks carhill, I totally get what your saying. Im just really indifferent about my looks, i want a deeper connection with a woman. Something i have no idea how to even begin to start. Being aggressive with no cause just really isnt my style. I like more of a natural progression when meeting women, but since i moved to a new city 4 months before my seperation i really do not know anyone locally, so i figured i would just have to talk to everyone i came across till i clicked with someone, male and female alike. I am confident in the way i look, however a little shaky on conversation that creates attraction from a woman.
Ruby Slippers Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 And he didn't smile back? Many times I wonder how people look at each other and don't develop the "inside joke" between them. Like c'mon, both of us what each of us is doing, so let's stop it and just break the ice." No, he just looked down. So, either he's shy or he wasn't interested. No way to know which one.
kizik Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 Hmm, I like it. I like hearing from women on here that more than a couple glances in a short period of time could definitely signal interest; that happens to me pretty often. What's funny, though, is that after I approach a girl who's been looking at me, they let me know they have a BF. Sometimes looking is ALL they can do, you know? Can't blame em But I'm totally with BCCA about the mixed signals. I had this girl flirt with me like a shameless 'ho the other day, only to reveal the boyfriend thing. Girls, if you're not interested, could you please stop ACTING like you are?
BCCA Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 Girls, if you're not interested, could you please stop ACTING like you are? Well, they probably are interested...in attention, just not dating you
alphamale Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 very few women have the "balls" to make repeated eye contact and a smile with a man they find attractive. usually when a woman is attracted to some dude she'll go out of her way not to show it. then they sit around wondering why they are eating bon bons and watching house reruns on Sat nites
MissHollywood Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 very few women have the "balls" to make repeated eye contact and a smile with a man they find attractive. usually when a woman is attracted to some dude she'll go out of her way not to show it. Sad but true. It should be made known to guys that most women who show the least interest are probably more interested than you think. But it also takes men with balls to go find out.
JeezLouise Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 This one is a bit weird. When a good looking woman follows a man and young child into a play area at a fast food restaurant and she does not have a child with her, it would make you think that she was amenable to some sort of friendly contact. But if she didn't respond to you, then that doesn't make sense. (Was she an undercover employee, making sure that you hadn't abducted a kid or something? kidding...) Seriously, though, do you still wear your ring out of habit or not noticing?
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