womansintution Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 I can't tell you why I'm here writing this right now, it's really not my style. Wait, yes I can... it's because I'm desperate to find some answers and to clear my clouded head. That's where you come in. Here's the situation... I have been working in an intimate office for a little over 6 months now. I have a coworker who I felt an instant attraction to, and come to find out we have, what I believe to be, really amazing chemistry. I have only ever once had this kind of chemistry with someone. That's why this has such a strong hold on me. Things have started getting a little more intense in the last couple of months. The flirting has increased, and he's started touching me. By touching, I mean completely innocent touching (a push here, and poke in the side there). The flirting is mostly innocent too, but there are definite inuendos being thrown around, which I try my damnest to ignore. I know he is sexually attracted to me, but what I'm hung up on is whether that is where it stops. As you may have guessed by now, I'm talking about a married man. I'm pretty sure he's tried to put us in situations where he was about to try to kiss me, but I've been really good at avoiding them. I don't know how much longer I have that in me though, the attraction (physical and emotional - on my end anyway) is getting scary. What I don't want is to have an affair with a married man. I also don't want the flirting to stop because it's just too fun. It gives me something to look forward to at work. Of course, ideally, and selfishly, I'd love for him to come in one day and tell me how madly in love with me he is and that he thinks we were meant to be. I'm not a daydreamer, though, and I know better. I can still hope that this chemistry is that strong for him too though. Selfish, I know. We can't help what we feel, right? I don't know how long he's been married, but I think it's been less than 5 years. They have a little boy. I guess what I'd like to hear from you is whether or not it's possible to fall in love outside of a marriage. Is it possible that this guy is feeling the crazy chemistry too? Is there any chance that this could be it? Do I continue on with things the way they are or do I somehow, someway, try to put a cork on it before it runneth over? I know I'm going to get berated from some of you, and I understand, and even respect that, but please remember that I already said I'm not interested in an affair, and I have been nothing but well behaved (outside of some innocent flirting). What are some indications that he's seriously interested in me versus out to get some side action? Any help would be great. Thanks!
TaraMaiden Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 You know exactly what you need to do: You need to tell this man that he is married, and that as far as you are concerned he is completely off-limits and his behaviour is inappropriate. he should be more concerned with improving relations with the woman he married and made vows to, and should be respecting her. This all goes for you too by the way, because otherwise we are going to see you as a regular poster, involved with a married man, living a lie, jealous of his wife and fending off his excuses as to why he is unable to get divorced right now, and no of course he never has sex with his wife and yes he loves you and wants you in his life..... Stop being a silly frilly girly, and behave yourself. he is wrong to do this. And you are wrong to accept it. Oh. And please advise a moderator you have posted this twice. That is not permitted here, so they will merge your threads. It's confusing going backwards and forwards to see what others have posted....
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