MeaganRaye Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 It's rare that I find a guy that is TRULY single, meaning no girlfriend/no wife, not attached to any woman in any kind of way. Everybody is coupled up with somebody(male or female) in my area because most people do not like to be alone. When I do meet guys they usually admit to having a girlfriend/wife or somebody they are very interested in. Some even try to pass off their girlfriend/wife as their "roommate"..Some of them are in relationships that are rocky and are meeting several women so they can have somebody else already lined up before they decide to break it off with their s/o/wife/babymomma. The ones that don't have a girlfriend at all ( truly single in the purest definition) are usually the ones with some kind of social anxiety and they are single for a good reason. This is the reason why a lot of women resort to sharing a man.
kizik Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 Hmmm... I'm "totally single." I try not to think I have "social anxiety" or a disorder. The guys you're talking about are scammers. Maybe stop hanging out with them? Your attitude is pretty negative. I would look at yourself before claiming that all guys are lying about their relationship status.
Kamille Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 It's rare that I find a guy that is TRULY single, meaning no girlfriend/no wife, not attached to any woman in any kind of way. Everybody is coupled up with somebody(male or female) in my area because most people do not like to be alone. When I do meet guys they usually admit to having a girlfriend/wife or somebody they are very interested in. Some even try to pass off their girlfriend/wife as their "roommate"..Some of them are in relationships that are rocky and are meeting several women so they can have somebody else already lined up before they decide to break it off with their s/o/wife/babymomma. The ones that don't have a girlfriend at all ( truly single in the purest definition) are usually the ones with some kind of social anxiety and they are single for a good reason. This is the reason why a lot of women resort to sharing a man. LOL! Describes how I feel right now. Still want a man all to myself though. Plus, if they can't be alone, doesn't it mean they're not resolving their issues? And I have met great truly single guys. it often is all a question of timing.
Author MeaganRaye Posted May 5, 2009 Author Posted May 5, 2009 Hmmm... I'm "totally single." I try not to think I have "social anxiety" or a disorder. The guys you're talking about are scammers. Maybe stop hanging out with them? Your attitude is pretty negative. I would look at yourself before claiming that all guys are lying about their relationship status. Attitude has nothing to do with it. People of all kinds are in relationships. They aren't just reserved for people who are perfect. Some of the most narrowminded, insensitive and racist people are in loving relationships
kizik Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 MeaganRaye, so you're saying that everyone on this planet is in a relationship. But those who aren't are retarded or have something wrong with them. And this has nothing to do with the fact that you are frustrated you can't find an available man. This is the most BS offensive thing I've read today.
Author MeaganRaye Posted May 5, 2009 Author Posted May 5, 2009 MeaganRaye, so you're saying that everyone on this planet is in a relationship. But those who aren't are retarded or have something wrong with them. And this has nothing to do with the fact that you are frustrated you can't find an available man. This is the most BS offensive thing I've read today. No, I'm saying that a lot of people are in relationships because most people don't like to be alone. Everybody is coupled up with somebody. It's rare that I meet women that are truly single. I'm usually one of the few women in a group that is not married or in a relationship. I thought about buying myself a wedding ring just so I can fit in more with other women at work/school. So I can feel like I am somebody. Once I revealed I was single, and a girl at my job made some nasty remarks about how I was "manless".
GorillaTheater Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 I thought about buying myself a wedding ring just so I can fit in more with other women at work/school. So I can feel like I am somebody. Well, now I have a better idea why you desparately want a relationship. Any relationship.
2sure Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 Meagan - thats stinks. I have been single , completely for long stretches - as have many many people. It is hard to find someone to love, it just is. Maybe you are not "for everyone"...thats OK! Dont be ashamed of being solo.
kizik Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 OK, I am starting to see your point. I would take it one step further to say that most women I encounter are in relationships. Then again, most women I encounter are in their 20's, when they're incredibly superficial and uncomfortable with being alone. Men, on the other hand, have to deal with rejection and loneliness much more than women. Reasons: -we're taught to tough things out -we're not as close with our families -we're not "sought after" like women are, and thus aren't valued in the same sexual way Instead of seeing singleness as a problem, how about embracing it? You can really begin to live life once you stop comparing yourself with others. There is always someone smarter, richer, etc.
sb129 Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 Pity party anyone? Good grief. How old are you? I was "truly single" when I met my husband who was also "truly single". I was 29 and he was 33. No skeletons, no unfinished business, just two "single" people who clicked and in the end got married. We have a great marriage- not perfect, but great for us. You really need to look at yourself and your self esteem and self acceptance if you are considering buying a wedding ring to "fit in". Firstly, whats wrong with how you are as you are? Lots of people are single and proud, and happy. Secondly, its an insult to all the people who got their wedding rings in the normal way- it means you are married- not that you want to be one day and want to fit in....
WTRanger Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 You know, you can say the EXACT same thing about females. So it's not just limited to guys. In fact, if I meet a truly single girl, then I automatically assume she's a butch and she can throw a football farther than I can. Of course racists are in relationships, they are in a relationship with other racists! You know, at least they have something in common. I don't see too many White-supremacists dating black-power people, that would be a true definition of great relationship. Besides, racists have meetings all the time. It's like their own little version of singles mixer parties. So if you're trying to meet guys, then you must be "single" right? So tell us, what's your problem? You know, since all single people must be retarded, socially awkward, or not a racist.
Author MeaganRaye Posted May 5, 2009 Author Posted May 5, 2009 Meagan - thats stinks. I have been single , completely for long stretches - as have many many people. It is hard to find someone to love, it just is. Maybe you are not "for everyone"...thats OK! Dont be ashamed of being solo. Well, it's not okay with me, if I don't FEEL that it's okay. I've done the whole single thing, like going to restuarants, musuems, the park all by myself. I still do. After awhile, it gets really old, and naturally you want a companion someone to share those moments with.
kizik Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 I think what we are trying to tell you is that THE OUTSIDE WORLD is not the problem. YOU are.
Author MeaganRaye Posted May 5, 2009 Author Posted May 5, 2009 Pity party anyone? Good grief. How old are you? I was "truly single" when I met my husband who was also "truly single". I was 29 and he was 33. No skeletons, no unfinished business, just two "single" people who clicked and in the end got married. We have a great marriage- not perfect, but great for us. You really need to look at yourself and your self esteem and self acceptance if you are considering buying a wedding ring to "fit in". Firstly, whats wrong with how you are as you are? Lots of people are single and proud, and happy. Secondly, its an insult to all the people who got their wedding rings in the normal way- it means you are married- not that you want to be one day and want to fit in.... Well, I'm not concerned about making people who got their wedding rings the normal way feel better, only about making myself feel and look better. At least they have somebody and don't have to face the scrutiny of being a single woman in society.
Chicago_Guy Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 No, I'm saying that a lot of people are in relationships because most people don't like to be alone. Everybody is coupled up with somebody. It's rare that I meet women that are truly single. I'm usually one of the few women in a group that is not married or in a relationship. I thought about buying myself a wedding ring just so I can fit in more with other women at work/school. So I can feel like I am somebody. Once I revealed I was single, and a girl at my job made some nasty remarks about how I was "manless". I disagree 100%. I'd rather be alone than with a woman who didn't truly want me or didn't treat me right. I could definitely be in a relationship right now if I wanted to be, but I don't want to waste my time on girls who are a pain in the ass. Believe me, it is just as hard to find a good woman.
GorillaTheater Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 Well, I'm not concerned about making people who got their wedding rings the normal way feel better, only about making myself feel and look better. At least they have somebody and don't have to face the scrutiny of being a single woman in society. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems that you want a relationship mainly (and maybe only) because of how you want others to perceive you. The fact that you'd consider being an OW belies that, but I'm trying to figure you out.
Author MeaganRaye Posted May 5, 2009 Author Posted May 5, 2009 So if you're trying to meet guys, then you must be "single" right? So tell us, what's your problem? You know, since all single people must be retarded, socially awkward, or not a racist I meet guys but the ones I am most compatible with are usually taken.
carhill Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 OP, I dare you to travel on an airplane from one coast to another and never see a single man. I've met them on airplanes, in airports, walking the streets, everywhere. I also have met plenty of single women too, but I'm still married. I think you need to broaden your horizons. BTW, I sometimes meet people in other areas who live near where I do and are traveling as well, so that refutes the LDR assertion. Just become comfortable with yourself and exploring the world alone and you'll find that, before you know it, you won't be alone at all FWIW, I was single for 20 years and thought the same way as you. Wrong. The problem was me and the limitations I placed on myself. Don't be me
Author MeaganRaye Posted May 5, 2009 Author Posted May 5, 2009 Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems that you want a relationship mainly (and maybe only) because of how you want others to perceive you. The fact that you'd consider being an OW belies that, but I'm trying to figure you out. No, I want a relationship for the same reasons that everybody else does. I'd be an OW because I would have no other choice in some cases.
kizik Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 OP, just stop worrying about it. We never get what we want WHEN we want it. So stop wanting it. Don't you have anything you like to do that ISN'T chasing c*ck?
donnamaybe Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 Your attitude is pretty negative. I would look at yourself before claiming that all guys are lying about their relationship status. Right on. It's clear from reading through some threads that, for some, finding a good man will be a difficult task.
donnamaybe Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 No, I want a relationship for the same reasons that everybody else does. I'd be an OW because I would have no other choice in some cases. That's not a relationship. It's settling.
Author MeaganRaye Posted May 5, 2009 Author Posted May 5, 2009 Right on. It's clear from reading through some threads that, for some, finding a good man will be a difficult task. Would you stop trying to make things worse.. That's not a relationship. It's settling. That's what you have to do so you won't be lonely. Being single for a long time can drive someone nuts
kizik Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 This is another thread with a defensive OP who's not going to, or willing to, learn anything from us. So f*ck it.
donnamaybe Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 Would you stop trying to make things worse.. You know, in another thread I tried to talk to you about your perceptions and how the way you feel about YOU is the starting point to a good relationship and I got jumped on by you and certain other people who want to claim all men walk around wishing to stick their thangs in other women when they are out with their girl. You won't listen to any real words of encouragement or assistance. You are stuck in this mindset and, until you get out of it, life will never go good for you. At least not as it relates to finding a relationship with a decent man.
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