AtHomeMom Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 Okay. *phew* I don't really have anyone to talk to about this, so hopefully someone will help me out before I have a nervous breakdown! My husband and I have been married almost 2 years. I'm a stay at home mom with two kids (both ours). My husband takes classes at the community college near his work nonstop because he's trying to finish his degree by the end of the year. At the end of last year, he found out I was talking to some old friends online and didn't like it. Yes, these were guy old friends, and maybe I shouldn't have done it, but it was innocent talking to army friends and people from high school, just to see how they're doing and such. Anyway, My husband found out, didn't like it, and retaliated. He started talking to this girl in his class. One night, he told me that class ran late, and later confessed that he'd been walking in a park with her. We tried to move past it, but one night, we were arguing before he went to his class and he ended up staying two hours after his class ended, sitting in her car talking to her. He swears that nothing happened, and I emailed the girl and she says the same. My husband and I are involved in church, and I really believe him when he says nothing happened. ANYWAY. The class ended and he took some more, in which she wasn't in. Now, he's signed up for another class in June, and I found out that she's taking it. I tried talking to him, trying to get him to promise me that he won't talk to her, but he can't do it. All he says is that he gives me his word he won't do anything he shouldn't. So now, I'm trying to get him to drop the class, since it's two nights out of the week, and I mean, he DOES have a family. He just says, "no, I'm taking it, and that's it." He always talks about compromise, and he won't compromise this because he knows that it hurts me. So, now I'm hurt by his lack of caring about how I feel. It's not even really about the other girl anymore, it's that he just won't compromise or take my feelings into consideration. So, here's where you come in! haha. Am I being overly jealous, or do I have a legitimate reason to be hurt? He's saying that he's not going to live with this harassment, and threatens to leave (never actually does), but I'm definitely not going to sit around and wait for that to happen. Am I overreacting, or do I have a legitimate reason to be hurt, upset, and worried? Thanks for reading!
2sure Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 Like you said, it isn't the girl - its his lack of respect for what you are comfortable with or not. Staying 2 hours with a girl from class, walking in the park with her....all behind your back...are things anyone would have issue with. He was jealous of your email contact with old friends. You are jealous of his emotional connection and time spent with this girl. Was there anything in the past that resulted in the jealous feelings on either of your parts? In any event , you called the girl. So she knows her relationship with your H made you uncomfortable and he knows it too. Yet he will not tell you he will not continue it, just tells you he "wont do anything wrong". Wrong to who?? This in itself is a red flag. If I were you, I would wait until the classes resume and he has contact with her. If there is anything to be concerned about, like an affair of any kind -an emotional one , they will be communicating. At that point check his cell phone bill for her number. You will recognize her # because there will be plenty of calls or texts . A's require communication. If there is no communication between them, then you will at least know what kind of problem needs to be addressed in your marriage.
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