SummerLady Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 I know its not a good sign when someone is all over you at first. I like when people get to know me, its shows a genuine interest. My question is how slow is to slow. Or what pace is right? I am dating someone that only texts me in between seeing him, we never talk on the phone and I am ok with that but just wondering if he is not that interested or pacing getting to know me. He seems real direct but is def taking his time with me. I had told him at one point that I do not like when men are too too forward but I do like when they are direct. Is it a only time will tell question or is there a measurment I can use for this. Since I have been out of the dating scene so long I would like feedback..
jadziaidaris Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 I'm not sure if this will help. Currently I'm dating a man who I don't talk to very often on the phone. We mostly talk online over IM or text every other day or so. However, we were previously long time friends (10 years) before we started dating. So this method of contact is how we have felt comfortable continuing our communication. Though it is more often than when we were just friends.
WTRanger Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 It could be that he doesn't like to talk over the phone. The natural silences that occur in any conversation always seem to be really awkward or prolonged when talking on the phone, which is why I don't like to talk on the phone any longer than I have to. In person, I can talk your ear off. On the phone, for whatever reason it's different. I wouldn't put much more thought into the whole phone deal at the moment. Though I will say this, if I get into a text conversation with a person, I'll more than likely end up calling them before my thumbs fall off. He seems real direct but is def taking his time with me. I had told him at one point that I do not like when men are too too forward but I do like when they are direct. Ahhh! You've confused him! You don't like them to be forward, but you like them to be direct. Error! Does not compute! Men are very simple robots, and are not the high end computing machines that women are. Guys know only two speeds, fast and slow. When you told him that you don't like too too forward guys, you put him into slow gear. It is now up to YOU to get him out of that. Do something that will be a bit more forward on your part to sort of put him back into normal speed. For example, if you haven't kissed yet. He probably wants to, but he is afraid of being too forward and scaring you away. So you might have to be the iniator of the kiss, let him know that it's okay to start being more agressive with his moves. I don't think there is a "right" pace that works for everyone. It's just the pace that feels comfortable with you. If you feel it's going too slow, but you really like the guy then don't hesitate to turn up the pace yourself. You don't always have to wait for the man. This is the 21st Century and we're all supposed to be equal now right?
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 You told him you don't like when guys are too forward. Sounds to me that at the very least, he's respecting your wishes. God, I'm glad my BF hates his cell phone and I don't have to mess with text-messaging. What a pain.
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