tinklebell Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 There have been quite a few posts about staring. I've noticed a stranger staring rather hard at me a few times. Can't really tell whether he's communicating interest or I've had lunch on my face each time. The little that I know of body language is that staring (or rather gazing) should be followed by a smile. But the stranger doesn't smile. Only stares. Anyone has such an experience or is able to decode? Interest? An enemy I didn't know?
mr.jekyll Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 I'm not an expert but if there are more than one stare/glance, then there's usually an interest, generally speaking. But of course cases vary. I know that I don't look more than once or stare at things I don't like. What's the fun of it?
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 I agree that it should follow with a smile. Staring creeps me out, too. To be perfectly honest, it's usually the Hispanic males staring at me with zero smile. I'm wondering if that's a cultural thing, though. I really haven't had others that stare without smiling.
Author tinklebell Posted May 6, 2009 Author Posted May 6, 2009 I agree that it should follow with a smile. Staring creeps me out, too. To be perfectly honest, it's usually the Hispanic males staring at me with zero smile. I'm wondering if that's a cultural thing, though. I really haven't had others that stare without smiling. The guy staring is a Caucasian white (not getting racist or anything here). Really befuddling me. Anyone else has any comments on this thread: staring without smiles?
Isolde Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 It's happened to me, too. I had a class where a guy stared at me every class like this and didn't smile, ever. He was cute, and I just didn't know what to think of it!
Author tinklebell Posted May 6, 2009 Author Posted May 6, 2009 Any guys can shed light on this? For us ladies who are confused and befuddled by the stares? Any guys have stared at girls and not smiled, for reasons of their own? Care to share?
WTRanger Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 When this guy is staring at you, how are you dressed? Are you showing off the "goods" so to speak? Usually if I look at a girl for a bit longer than a standard glance it's because she's dressed for it. It doesn't mean I like her, I just want to ogle her for a bit more. It may sound piggish, but hey I'm just a guy with a weak moral center.
gopher Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 Some guys don't know how to approach a woman, so they stare at you, hoping you'll give them a sign. I agree that it's very rude and creepy.
sotired Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 Very creepy. I get the "mexi-stare" a lot. Also a lot of fat old rednecks do it too. I don't wear revealing clothes....some men are just nasty and weird.
zhsoj Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 Any guys can shed light on this? For us ladies who are confused and befuddled by the stares? Any guys have stared at girls and not smiled, for reasons of their own? Care to share? I have for a few different reasons... A few times I didn't even realize I was staring, I was just lost deep in thought and then realized that I was staring at someone... whoops... Sorry, don't mean to be creepy. Most of the time though if I'm looking I'm interested and if I'm "caught" I'll avert my eyes and try to downplay it as I'm embarrassed. I spend a lot of time trying to be non-creepy. I'm not sure it's energy well-spent to be honest as I still get the stalker look all the time. :-\
Groovy Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 I had a guy stare at me in junior high through freshman year. He lived next door and I wondered why he hated me to stare me down all the time. I asked his best friend out and it turned out he had liked me since 3rd grade 96 years)! When I saw him the next day look like someone ripped his heart out and his friend told me his staring is that he was in love with me. I realized it was really misinterperted. I'm in my 30's now and my ex used to stare at me while we were watching movies, I was sleeping, etc. I complained about it one day saying "WHY must you look at me" and he said he thought I was beautiful and a boyfriend who loves to look at you is a good thing. I thought, well I guess so.... But who knows? Sometimes a stare just says "man, you are so annoying" or you remind them of someone. I saw an old co-worker at the park yesterday and came up and re-introduced myself. He said "I wondered why you were looking at me", lol. Only way to find out is to talk to him! Smile, say hi, etc. And remember a lot of people, especially men, do not always know how to approach someone they are interested in in a comfortable way when they first meet you. Doesn't mean they are undateable!
aotc Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 Any guys can shed light on this? For us ladies who are confused and befuddled by the stares? Any guys have stared at girls and not smiled, for reasons of their own? Care to share? The most I'll do is a little smile. I never smile with my teeth. A lot of times I don't know I'm not smiling. If I'm looking at a girl, it probably means I find her attractive. Sometimes I think that smiling would make the situation much more awkward and creepy.
Isolde Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 I smile if I'm sure that I'm attracted to the guy. If I'm not sure, I'll just glance once or at most, twice. I had a smiling and looking back and forth thing with some kid the other day. It was fun that we were both sending out those signals.
colosseum Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 I think I had a post on this before, but I forget... I've heard that when people meet eyes, the girl should smile first. So when I do meet eyes with a girl, I usually see if she smiles first. Maybe I'll break out a small one but usually I don't want to come off as a creeper... Any thoughts on this smiling thing? Who breaks first? But to answer other question, general staring w/o eye contact is a bit weird.
MissHollywood Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 I think I had a post on this before, but I forget... I've heard that when people meet eyes, the girl should smile first. So when I do meet eyes with a girl, I usually see if she smiles first. Maybe I'll break out a small one but usually I don't want to come off as a creeper... Any thoughts on this smiling thing? Who breaks first? But to answer other question, general staring w/o eye contact is a bit weird. I think the person who looks first should break a smile first. The other person is probably too busy trying to figure out why he/she is being looked at to smile first.
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 I think the person who looks first should break a smile first. The other person is probably too busy trying to figure out why he/she is being looked at to smile first. Agreed. If you're the one staring, YOU should smile first so that other person knows WHY you're staring. For all I know, he's wondering what I would look like chopped up in little bits - why the hell would I smile first?
shadowplay Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 There is this guy who stares at me in one of my classes, and he seems really cool, but I have no idea how to communicate that I'd be open to an approach. I wish he'd start a conversation.
Author tinklebell Posted May 7, 2009 Author Posted May 7, 2009 When this guy is staring at you, how are you dressed? Are you showing off the "goods" so to speak? Usually if I look at a girl for a bit longer than a standard glance it's because she's dressed for it. It doesn't mean I like her, I just want to ogle her for a bit more. It may sound piggish, but hey I'm just a guy with a weak moral center. I wasn't wearing revealing clothes when the guy was staring. Besides, he didn't really look neck down. It was just into the eyes. Have you ever looked at someone because of something else instead of because of what they wear? What were the reasons for that?
MissHollywood Posted May 10, 2009 Posted May 10, 2009 I have for a few different reasons... A few times I didn't even realize I was staring, I was just lost deep in thought and then realized that I was staring at someone... whoops... Sorry, don't mean to be creepy. Most of the time though if I'm looking I'm interested and if I'm "caught" I'll avert my eyes and try to downplay it as I'm embarrassed. I spend a lot of time trying to be non-creepy. I'm not sure it's energy well-spent to be honest as I still get the stalker look all the time. :-\ This is hilarious. I get that some people are lost in thoughts and don't realize they were staring but it IS really creepy! Imagine you being stared at!
Mycroft Posted May 10, 2009 Posted May 10, 2009 Hmm, I've probably done this to a girl, though I'm pretty good about not staring at anyone(my mother taught me it was rude ;p). Eye contact and smiling is KEY if you want to look at anyone for more than a few seconds. To me its acknowledging the person inside of the face you are looking at. Especially with someone youre attracted to, but when I really think about it, its completely universal.
MissHollywood Posted May 10, 2009 Posted May 10, 2009 Hmm, I've probably done this to a girl, though I'm pretty good about not staring at anyone(my mother taught me it was rude ;p). Eye contact and smiling is KEY if you want to look at anyone for more than a few seconds. To me its acknowledging the person inside of the face you are looking at. Especially with someone youre attracted to, but when I really think about it, its completely universal. What is completely universal? Eye contact and smiling? Or staring at someone you're attracted?
Mycroft Posted May 10, 2009 Posted May 10, 2009 What is completely universal? Eye contact and smiling? Or staring at someone you're attracted? What I meant was, if you "stare" at anyone for more than a second or 2, make eye contact and smile. I mean you dont ALWAYS have to do this with EVERYONE, but in most situations it makes sense(to me).
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