love_story Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 I am new to this cheating thing. I just started having an affair with a married man. Last week we made love for the first time. We do a bit of chatting almost everyday and cell phone texting, mostly talking about sex. Earlier today we exhanged a bunch of messages on the cell phone about what he and I do to each other. We did this for more than 30 minutes. I sent him the last message saying that I would kiss him like crazy etc., but afte that he stopped texting me. Do you think he went to his wife and made love to her? He told me that she doesn't want to have sex with him anymore. Thanks --------------- Sorry web admin if I I put this thread in the wrong forum.(the infedility one)
carhill Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 Hi, Here's the forum you might be looking for: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/f57/ IMO, it's probably better to focus just on your interactions with the MM and not project what might be going on with he and his W. FWIW, don't believe him if he tells you he and his W don't have sex anymore. I'd also suggest not becoming emotionally involved. That's the killer part...
annieo Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 He's lying to his WIFE, the woman he married, made all those promises to, the person who can kick him to the curb if she finds out. Why would you assume he's going to be honest with you? And why do you care? Would you stop having sex with him if he were still having sex with her? If that's the case, find someone single or wait until he is. Sheesh! You wanna play this game, learn the rules - there are no rules.
hurt4life Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 What if he did go and F*cked the living hell out of his wife, I'm sure you're still gonna do him the next time you see him. Both of you are cheaters, (liars) what did you expect? I'm sure he's done you after he did her, and did her after he did you. He's got the best of both worlds. He's lying to his wife and you. I lost all respect for cheaters, so sorry if that was a bit harsh. Hope you get what you deserve.
jnj express Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 I promise you he is lying to you. He is making excuses for his cheating with you. Are you happy knowing that he will probably never leave his wife for you, for many reasons, are you happy that you could be the person that wrecks the lives of his children, and causes them to have a life full of being passed around, living with unhappy parents. You don't really know anything about the woman who is his wife, who may actually be a very wonderful wife and loving mother. Remember the guy you are spreading your legs for, is an accomplished liar, and a master at deceit, for that is what he is doing to enable him to cheat with you. I am not going to put you down but the guy you are spreading your legs for is slime, anyone that would take vows and then put their family at risk is slime, a liar, and a nasty person. I don't care what he tells you, on a thruth meter you should probably believe 20% of what he says. The best thing you can do for yourself is get away from this guy as fast as you can, and play in the world you belong in, THE WORLD OF SINGLE PEOPLE.
huck Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 I Think you might of come to the wrong place for any kind of sympathy.. Most people on here have been affected by cheating in some way and know the hurt and pain it can cause. You might be having fun and enjoying the sex but this guy is involved with someone else. Have a bit of self respect - leave him alone, hes got a wife. Find yourself someone single...
Author love_story Posted May 5, 2009 Author Posted May 5, 2009 I Think you might of come to the wrong place for any kind of sympathy.. Most people on here have been affected by cheating in some way and know the hurt and pain it can cause. You might be having fun and enjoying the sex but this guy is involved with someone else. Have a bit of self respect - leave him alone, hes got a wife. Find yourself someone single... Sympathy? You got the wrong idea Huck. I came here to look for some answers regarding how a MM mind works, not to get a lecture. I don't believe it has anything to do with the self-respect.
carhill Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 I'll give you a little insight, from a MM POV... 1. Compartmentalization..... You're in a box in his psyche; the really cool younger woman box, I'll presume, and he likes looking in that box when he takes it out. He also has boxes for his wife, his kids, his friends, etc. The boxes don't interfere with each other; in fact, they can complement each other and gain energy from each other. 2. Ego... He deserves you. His feelings of desire for you are valid to him, separate from his desire for his wife and his marriage. The excitement he feels with you is something which is owed to him, he feels. Necessary. Proper. Perhaps there is no excitement at home. Perhaps there is some distance. Regardless, in his mind, in his ego, you are a positive addition to his life. 3. Rationalization.... combine one and two and you have three. It's really as simple and as pragmatic as that. Men are pragmatic, goal-oriented beasts. Whatever works is what we do. Hopefully, some conscience is involved
huck Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 oh - im sorry - was stupid of me to be honest... Basically the MM is using you for sex - nothing else.. Hes gonna say anything to get you in the sack.. - thats how his minds working !! If your ok with this - then do what you want... And its got everything to do with Self Respect..
Author love_story Posted May 5, 2009 Author Posted May 5, 2009 Cathill, Your post is the best I have read so far. I agree with anything you said. I really like your box comparation. It looks like you had some experinece with MM. Thanks
GlassWindow Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 It's always "fun" in the beginning, huh? Pretty obvious to say, but someone's gonna get burned.
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