How can I get over my insecurty and jealousy?

[missmich]

In past relationships I've been quite insecure,jealous and clingy. I'm older and wiser now (I hope) and no longer want to feel those things. I've noticed a huge difference in myself with this new man that I've been dating,but sometimes I do feel some of those negative feelings creep up.

 

Any advice on how to get rid of those feelings completely?

[missmich]

No one answered my thread yet,but that's ok. I think I've found a few answers for myself and am feeling much better now,though I still have some work to do.

 

In the past I've been quite jealous and with good reason and I've had good reason not to trust the men that I've dated. Yeah,I didn't always make the right choices.

 

The man I'm dating now has never give me reason to doubt him or anything and he says he's not a jealous guy at all...which is also different for me.

 

I was feeling a bit jealous when I saw that his x fiance is on his facebook page and then more so when I saw her pictures there...cuz I can see the ones she posted on her page that's he's also in. For a few days I looked at them and had these jealous thoughts in my head,but didn't tell him anything. I looked at the pics and thought "why am I doing this to myself?"

 

She was wearing a Sari (he's Indian and she and I are white) and I told myself "that's it I'll never wear one" and stuff lile that cuz I didn't want to do anything with him that she's done with him.

 

Then today I was like... there is no need to be jealous at all or have any of the thougts I had since she is not a threat all to me. It would be so stupid of me to not wear a Sari (if and when I wanted to) just cuz his X wore one at a special event they went to. If I hadn't seen the picture or known she'd wore one probably would have wanted to wear one anyway. It would be like not going to a movie or eating ice cream together b/c they did that together before as well.

 

I decided that it isn't worth having all those negative feelings inside me anymore and I'm just going to let them go b/c well...I just don't need them anymore. I really don't!