a4a Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 Answer.com huh? I know two SD's on a personal level that go way beyond that definition. Not all SD's are in a Anna Nicole Smith type relationship. Broad statements irritate me I guess. All men like big boobed blondes. All women like jewelry. All SD's exchange gifts for sex. Like I said - the SD's I know date women that have a life of their own. They have careers. Their own money. They are beautiful - who wants a ugly girlfriend when you can have a pretty one. SD's both buy expensive gifts for their women. Neither wants to be married. One I know has got to be 45+ years old.... gorgeous... so no the broad statement of running around with a 20 year old does not apply to all SD relationships. I am a SM because I have bought expensive gifts for men that have had sex with me? I have paid their bills........ I am a SM or have been one in the past. I had no desire to marry them. I liked them and frucked em and bought them some stuff!
donnamaybe Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 It sounds like you're the one that's defining relationships as "all or nothing" by the definition of a woman being nothing unless she's committed to and living with a man. That isn't what I said. Again, read for content, NOT for what you might be able to try to use to put words in my mouth. Not every woman would deem your man "a prize". It's great that you do but some women wouldn't want to live with a man that can "AT LEAST take care of his own financial needs" or do his "own laundry" simply because it's not enough. The risks are greater than the reward. They don't want the loss of personal freedom that goes along with the responsibility of the obligation. My man is a prize - for me. That's the point. I haven't lost one iota of personal freedom. That's the kind of relationship we have. And he does bring to our relationship MUCH more than just his share of financial needs and his own laundry, and I figure you would know that since you quoted the post wherein I outlined only a FEW of the things he brings to me along with his love, and those were MUCH more than him misering all his money for himself and doing only his laundry. I guess if money is THE ONE AND ONLY THING that a person uses to measure their so-called love interest, that would make them pretty damned shallow, IMO, and that of most of the rest of the world. If I had "shopped" for a man with MONEY MONEY MONEY at the tip top of my list of criteria, then I probably WOULD have found a man who expected me to be at his beck and call, considering the fact that he was paying for it. Now THERE would be some loss of personal freedom for ya!
donnamaybe Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 Again, I have no moral/religious or ethical objections to SD relationships. It's on aesthetic grounds that I dislike them. The elderly SD, in my view, looks silly and the young lover, opportunistic. I'm very open to casual sex--the kinkier the better. I'm just not thrilled palling around with someone who looks like she could be my daughter, and who I know would not have given me a second look had I not showered gifts upon her. That's just me. Call it a matter of pride. I understand everyone is different. You TOTALLY get it Grogster!
donnamaybe Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 I'm with a man, not a boy. He washes ALL his own laundry, does dishes, remodels our house, brings home a good paycheck, plays music with me, cooks, is an absolute STALLION in bed, etc. etc. etc. A very satisfying life, to be sure. Had money been my FIRST criteria in a man, I would never have found the prize I have. Here ya go, NG, since you seemed to forget all but the laundry and finances. The etc. etc. etc. is the REST of the stuff I didn't bother to mention because, frankly, it would just take too long.
a4a Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 My current criteria would be for a sugardaddy or any relationship: 1. must be nice person that I like 2. must make at least 80k per year 3. must be superb in bed if it goes that way 4.not interested in marriage or kids - and no kids living with them. deal breaker is the dude is broke and/or a jerk. again not sure if people think sugardaddies beat their gf's or make them eat out of a dog food dish - then sling the keys at them for the new car they bought for them. SD's that I know treat their gf's with respect and kindness..... not like picking up a hooker doin' the deed and throwing a twenty at her. If I remember correctly in the 5 languages of love gift giving is one of those languages?
Trialbyfire Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 Let's just call an SD/SB relationship what it is. Money for sex and ego boosting. If that's enough for either party, they're welcome to it. Mutual usage relationships where both parties have no moral objections to it, are what they are. The OP has to decide if she has any moral objections. Of course, as we've found on LS, the ones who give sex in exchange for money, tend to regret their choices in the long run and then blame society for personal choices. Short-term thinking v. long-term thinking. If you're going to do it, do it without having to hide or be ashamed of it. And yes, you will be judged by people for doing it. That's their right to do so, as it's your right to handle your life the way you choose. No one is forcing this onto you so be prepared to take responsibility for your life choices.
donnamaybe Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 If I remember correctly in the 5 languages of love gift giving is one of those languages? And is one of the other four, "Sugar babies must all like each other?" lol If a gal is going on a website to find a sugar daddy, there is no way she can find out if he's "nice" or good in bed prior to meeting him and being bought and paid for.
grogster Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 My current criteria would be for a sugardaddy or any relationship: 1. must be nice person that I like 2. must make at least 80k per year 3. must be superb in bed if it goes that way 4.not interested in marriage or kids - and no kids living with them. deal breaker is the dude is broke and/or a jerk. again not sure if people think sugardaddies beat their gf's or make them eat out of a dog food dish - then sling the keys at them for the new car they bought for them. SD's that I know treat their gf's with respect and kindness..... not like picking up a hooker doin' the deed and throwing a twenty at her. If I remember correctly in the 5 languages of love gift giving is one of those languages? Those relationship criteria are fine in my book. I've seen worse on Match. Go for it, woman.
a4a Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 And is one of the other four, "Sugar babies must all like each other?" lol If a gal is going on a website to find a sugar daddy, there is no way she can find out if he's "nice" or good in bed prior to meeting him and being bought and paid for. Again - not all the gf's advert on this SD website. Some have worked together. I know SD one is dating his real estate agent from the state he moved from. And If I answer a online ad and my criteria is the man make more than 80k does that mean I have to sleep with him when we go on our first date if he makes 80k+? NO it does not. Man ad - looking for average to slim attractive lady to share time and companionship with man that is financially stable. Woman ad - looking for nice guy that is financially stable to spend time with attractive lady. Whore!! gold digger!! and he is a pig because he only wants a average to slim size lady! Why won't he date fat chicks!! He is missing out... terrible terrible! Preferences do not mean someone is "bad". I do know many people that are aware of the other party. Again not everyone is interested in marriage and babies/monogamy. I would have no desire to date someone at this point in my life and make them be tied down to just me. I wouldn't want that for myself either. Fun - Casual and if you want to buy me a car and it is no big deal for you to do that..... okey dokes.
donnamaybe Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 "Financially stable" is now rich? I don't think "financially stable" guys advertise on Sugardaddy.com. People who look for a man on that website are NOT looking for a relationship. They're looking for a paycheck. One of my criteria is financial stability as well. But that doesn't mean he has to be SO financially stable that I can quit my job or that he can buy me a Mercedes and trips to the Caribbean at the drop of a hat.
a4a Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 "Financially stable" is now rich? I don't think "financially stable" guys advertise on Sugardaddy.com. People who look for a man on that website are NOT looking for a relationship. They're looking for a paycheck. One of my criteria is financial stability as well. But that doesn't mean he has to be SO financially stable that I can quit my job or that he can buy me a Mercedes and trips to the Caribbean at the drop of a hat. It is all relative to ones own expectations. Hell the locals here think we are wildly rich. To me rich is 2 mil + per year - actually that is just comfortable. Some people may only take in 80K per year but own their own business so on salary. You would have to look at total assets to get the real financial picture. Dentist for example that sets up practices and office then sells them may only take home 130K but sell the practice for a tidy sum. Assets total well over 3mil. Yes I would prefer a guy that could wisk me off to an island or drop a new mercedes in the drive. why not? Doesn't mean he has to be a jerk. Hey SD 1 sent me his new email and phone #. should I call him? He owes me money! and if your man decided to just quit working and stopped brining home a paycheck how long would you keep your relationship with him? Your standards may be different, but I bet if you man did not meet your financial standards he would be out on his ass in 2 seconds.
2sure Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 Hi donnamaybe... I have been sort of following this thread because at first, I could relate and it was interesting. But then - I realized I could not define my relationships without defending myself...and who wants to do that? BUT - your above quote, for me, hits the nail on the head. Rich, financially stable - both very relative terms. Whats rich to one, is merely comfy to another. And regardless - either one can fairly be listed as someone's personal criteria for relationship partners, spouses, etc. If my personal criteria lists "SO financially stable that I can quit my job or that he can buy me a Mercedes and trips to the Caribbean at the drop of a hat"...its really the same as anyone else who has expectations - its just a matter of degree.
Author MeaganRaye Posted May 11, 2009 Author Posted May 11, 2009 Well, I just met a guy (SD), he owns his own business. I'll see how this one goes..keep you all updated
donnamaybe Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 and if your man decided to just quit working and stopped brining home a paycheck how long would you keep your relationship with him? Your standards may be different, but I bet if you man did not meet your financial standards he would be out on his ass in 2 seconds. My standards that he be able to feed and clothe himself? Yeah, that's a standard for me. That someone not be a user which is indicative of a selfish, lazy personality. However, if he were to quit his job but then had a retirement income where he could take care of his own financial needs, I wouldn't care. In fact, I'd be happy for him that he could retire. He will retire before me, so yeah. My plan isn't to dump him once he retires. He's smart enough to not retire without a plan. No one will convince me that it's not a better person who looks for a partner with criteria that involves a person's integrity rather than looking for how big their payday is as their number one item.
a4a Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 My standards that he be able to feed and clothe himself? Yeah, that's a standard for me. That someone not be a user which is indicative of a selfish, lazy personality. However, if he were to quit his job but then had a retirement income where he could take care of his own financial needs, I wouldn't care. In fact, I'd be happy for him that he could retire. He will retire before me, so yeah. My plan isn't to dump him once he retires. He's smart enough to not retire without a plan. No one will convince me that it's not a better person who looks for a partner with criteria that involves a person's integrity rather than looking for how big their payday is as their number one item. I don't ever think I could tolerate someone that could just feed and clothe themselves If he quit his job today and stopped bringing home a paycheck would you continue a relationship with him? That was the question. If I made a boat load of cash I certainly would want my partner/gf/bf/w/h to not have to work if it wasn't necessary. Spoil them rotten. Why not? And men that make more money than your own H may certainly have the same or more integrity than your own H. Being poor does not = integrity. ;);)
donnamaybe Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 I don't ever think I could tolerate someone that could just feed and clothe themselves If he quit his job today and stopped bringing home a paycheck would you continue a relationship with him? That was the question. If I made a boat load of cash I certainly would want my partner/gf/bf/w/h to not have to work if it wasn't necessary. Spoil them rotten. Why not? And men that make more money than your own H may certainly have the same or more integrity than your own H. Being poor does not = integrity. ;);) Again, you are taking things to the EXTREEEEEEEEEEMMMMMM which is what ya'll do when you can't handle the REAL conversation. I never said anyone has to look for a "poor" person. Why do you and others always bring up the word "poor?" I also already answered your question already. If he quit his job with no retirement, I would consider him rude and uncaring of the impact on others, unless he had a VERY good reason. Thankfully, he's NOT that kind of guy because, once again, I didn't narrow my viewpoint to how much money he brings home TODAY. I looked for a man who wouldn't be the kind to quit his job because now someone ELSE was there to carry the weight. I looked for a man who had some substance that consisted of something other than gold. Hell, the rich guy could lose everything tomorrow, what with the financial situation our country is in! I wonder where the little sugarbabies would go then? ANYWHERE but with him, to be sure! And if said rich guy inherited his money which he just lost, do you think he'd be running out to find a job? Doubt it! If my man lost his job, I KNOW he would be the type to immediately search for another because he's that kind of stand up guy, and I would support him until he found one. Get it yet? Or do I have to draw a chart? :lmao: Don't be hatin' now just because I have a good man and others are unhappy with theirs.
grogster Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 Well, I just met a guy (SD), he owns his own business. I'll see how this one goes..keep you all updated Best of luck, MR. If you choose, keep us updated. Practice is almost always more educational than theory.
a4a Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 Again, you are taking things to the EXTREEEEEEEEEEMMMMMM which is what ya'll do when you can't handle the REAL conversation. I never said anyone has to look for a "poor" person. Why do you and others always bring up the word "poor?" I also already answered your question already. If he quit his job with no retirement, I would consider him rude and uncaring of the impact on others, unless he had a VERY good reason. Thankfully, he's NOT that kind of guy because, once again, I didn't narrow my viewpoint to how much money he brings home TODAY. I looked for a man who wouldn't be the kind to quit his job because now someone ELSE was there to carry the weight. I looked for a man who had some substance that consisted of something other than gold. Hell, the rich guy could lose everything tomorrow, what with the financial situation our country is in! I wonder where the little sugarbabies would go then? ANYWHERE but with him, to be sure! And if said rich guy inherited his money which he just lost, do you think he'd be running out to find a job? Doubt it! If my man lost his job, I KNOW he would be the type to immediately search for another because he's that kind of stand up guy, and I would support him until he found one. Get it yet? Or do I have to draw a chart? :lmao: Don't be hatin' now just because I have a good man and others are unhappy with theirs. rich guy inherited his money?... oh no....... SD 1 earned every dime on his own. Parents were refugees. He just lost his job But since he is smart he has several companies and can continue working with those assets. He could retire but chooses not to. He is accustomed to working. SD2 Holds a high govt job. doesn't need to work - chooses to. Multi millionaire probably brings in big whoppin' 120k from his job. Rich guys don't earn their money they only inherit it I think somebody doesn't like/is jealous of people that have lots of money. And somebody thinks I am rich! I do think your H must be one hell of a guy!! Yes sir...... must be!
donnamaybe Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 rich guy inherited his money?... oh no....... SD 1 earned every dime on his own. Parents were refugees. He just lost his job But since he is smart he has several companies and can continue working with those assets. He could retire but chooses not to. He is accustomed to working. SD2 Holds a high govt job. doesn't need to work - chooses to. Multi millionaire probably brings in big whoppin' 120k from his job. Rich guys don't earn their money they only inherit it I think somebody doesn't like/is jealous of people that have lots of money. And somebody thinks I am rich! I do think your H must be one hell of a guy!! Yes sir...... must be! So every single guy on SD.com is EXACTLY like the guy you know? That's ONE HELLUVA concidence! :lmao: And, once again, read for content, could you please? I said, "If rich guy inherited his money..." Not "Rich guy most assuredly inherited his money." Good gawd. I think SOMEBODY is jealous of people who have a good man. We already have more than enough money, thanks.
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