a4a Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 Darling who cares? If you want to roll in the hay and get your bills paid that is up to you. Good for you that you are an amateur making pro bucks for what you do. But look up the word prostitute in the dictionary: Prostitute: one who engages in sexual activity for pay. It's perfectly fine to do what you do but just be honest about what it is and what you are doing. There is a huge difference in having a relationship with a man and being a roadside hooker. If this is the case never ever ever accept a gift from a boyfriend and have sex with them or you could be labelled a hooker/prostitute. Give back those valentine gifts girls or you are whores! Bet some of you even gave your BF a "speshul" valentine bj because his gift was so thoughtful. Whores! Whores!! Trading sex for gifts! Do you really think sugardaddies just show up and demand sex? Do you know they plan vacations with their "sugarbabies".... they want to take care of their sugarbabies because it makes them feel more like a man to her. Does playing tennis with a sugardaddy count as trading sex for money too? and to clairify I don't have a SD...... although I would enjoy hanging out with my client - he is charming, witty, and fun to be around. Maybe it would be fine if he bought me a new car or paid off my house... to him that is a drop in the bucket. Like a "reg" guy may pick up flowers or buy dinner. But I don't want to marry the guy so that makes someone like me a prostitute. He had his entire house re landscaped and a pool installed for his visiting sugarbaby..... because of course that is what you do for a mere prostitute. I guess some men do want to pamper and treat their women like gold...... they just realize they would never be happy with just one woman.
donnamaybe Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 never ever ever accept a gift from a boyfriend and have sex with them or you could be labelled a hooker/prostitute. Give back those valentine gifts girls or you are whores! Bet some of you even gave your BF a "speshul" valentine bj because his gift was so thoughtful. Whores! Whores!! Trading sex for gifts! OMG! If I was married to a guy who bought me stuff but otherwise treated me like his employee, expecting me to be at his beck and call at HIS convenience, I would NOT have sex with him. It's not sex for the gifts, it's sex because you love your man and want to have mutual pleasure with him. A "relationship" like that (like one with a sugardaddy would be) is NOT a romantic relationship. Now, if some gal doesn't mind being one in a long string of paid sex toys, much like one of those silicone vaginas, but with a - ahem - brain, more power to her.
a4a Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 OMG! If I was married to a guy who bought me stuff but otherwise treated me like his employee, expecting me to be at his beck and call at HIS convenience, I would NOT have sex with him. It's not sex for the gifts, it's sex because you love your man and want to have mutual pleasure with him. A "relationship" like that (like one with a sugardaddy would be) is NOT a romantic relationship. Now, if some gal doesn't mind being one in a long string of paid sex toys, much like one of those silicone vaginas, but with a - ahem - brain, more power to her. You don't have to be "in love" to actually have a nice relationship with another person. This may or may not include sex or exchange of gifts. Sex with being "in love" is not always the goal of every person. Some people like my client travel way too often for a fulltime relationship or a family. You can enjoy a healthy fun relationship with sex without being in love. And if in that relationship one person likes to take care of the other person because they obviously have the means to do so - what is the big deal? Pretty much it is like having an open marriage. These real sugardaddies are not the kind of guys you find at strip clubs or waiting for a hooker to climb into their car. I know 2 of them and their standards are quite high when it comes to choosing who they want as FWB's. I know 2 gf's of one - one is about 25-28 real estate agent in a high dollar resort area, the other is about 45- 50 professional musician in a local symphony. Not your run of the mill prostitutes. His gifts are not required for either ones survival.
grogster Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 You don't have to be "in love" to actually have a nice relationship with another person. This may or may not include sex or exchange of gifts. Sex with being "in love" is not always the goal of every person. Some people like my client travel way too often for a fulltime relationship or a family. You can enjoy a healthy fun relationship with sex without being in love. And if in that relationship one person likes to take care of the other person because they obviously have the means to do so - what is the big deal? Pretty much it is like having an open marriage. I agree, a4a. My last relationship was fun and healthy without anyone being in "love." Alas, my then gf was an independent, professional woman and age cohort so there was no "sugardaddyness." Could I be in a "sugardaddy" relationship? Unlikely. I'm just not comfortable with the stark inequality. She has the looks, I have the money. I prefer more balance and symmetry in my relationships. It's more aesthetic than ethical. Could I again be in a healthy (if slightly kinked) relationship with an adult female without "love." Yes, I could. Do I miss that now? Not really.
donnamaybe Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 I agree, a4a. My last relationship was fun and healthy without anyone being in "love." Alas, my then gf was an independent, professional woman and age cohort so there was no "sugardaddyness." Could I be in a "sugardaddy" relationship? Unlikely. I'm just not comfortable with the stark inequality. She has the looks, I have the money. I prefer more balance and symmetry in my relationships. It's more aesthetic than ethical. Could I again be in a healthy (if slightly kinked) relationship with an adult female without "love." Yes, I could. Do I miss that now? Not really. Well, of course you don't have to be in love to have sex with someone, but to compare a loving relationship wherein SO's exchange the normal gifts and favors to a sugardaddy situation is WAY off base. I had an FWB during a time of swearing off relationships, but again, we were giving each other mutual pleasure. It wasn't as analytical and cold as a financial transaction. He didn't pay me for sex, and we enjoyed each other's company. He just wasn't my type for anything long term, which is exactly what I needed during that time of my life. But does a 20 something girl actually enjoy having sex with, say, a 70 year old man with lots of money? Doubt it.
a4a Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 Well, of course you don't have to be in love to have sex with someone, but to compare a loving relationship wherein SO's exchange the normal gifts and favors to a sugardaddy situation is WAY off base. I had an FWB during a time of swearing off relationships, but again, we were giving each other mutual pleasure. It wasn't as analytical and cold as a financial transaction. He didn't pay me for sex, and we enjoyed each other's company. He just wasn't my type for anything long term, which is exactly what I needed during that time of my life. But does a 20 something girl actually enjoy having sex with, say, a 70 year old man with lots of money? Doubt it. The client of mine is about 58 - hot as hell.... in shape, makes james bond look like a garage band player when it comes to dressing....... even his bed pillows are top of the line. (figure out how I know that - but you are dead ass wrong I never even held hands with this man) He has a 18k sofa..... and I know because I was there with the insurance company during the run through. See so buying a car for a friend/ girlfriend is no big deal to him. But he doesn't have dingy crackhead gf's. Bikes, hikes, smells like irish spring! He is hot and has several relationships going on at once and buys his ladies anything he wants to. And he is so damn fun to hang out with. He also is a complete gentleman, treats his ladies like gold not "get on the bed bitch take your clothes off and suck it!" He is a generous person when it comes to business as well.
grogster Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 Well, of course you don't have to be in love to have sex with someone, but to compare a loving relationship wherein SO's exchange the normal gifts and favors to a sugardaddy situation is WAY off base. I had an FWB during a time of swearing off relationships, but again, we were giving each other mutual pleasure. It wasn't as analytical and cold as a financial transaction. He didn't pay me for sex, and we enjoyed each other's company. He just wasn't my type for anything long term, which is exactly what I needed during that time of my life. But does a 20 something girl actually enjoy having sex with, say, a 70 year old man with lots of money? Doubt it. The economics becomes more problematic the greater the differences. If the "john" while older keeps himself fit and is not a total douche, the cold cash aspect of a sugardaddy relationship is not as soulcrushing as when a shriveled 70-something seeks to consort with a healthy 18-year old. (Are you listening Berlusconi?). If I'm going to be in a relationship with someone, that relationship must have an emotional center. Eros without emotion is an empty husk. I'd rather masterbate than pay for it.
a4a Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 The economics becomes more problematic the greater the differences. If the "john" while older keeps himself fit and is not a total douche, the cold cash aspect of a sugardaddy relationship is not as soulcrushing as when a shriveled 70-something seeks to consort with a healthy 18-year old. (Are you listening Berlusconi?). If I'm going to be in a relationship with someone, that relationship must have an emotional center. Eros without emotion is an empty husk. I'd rather masterbate than pay for it. who says Sugardaddies are not emotionally attached to the ladies they have in their lives.... They keep photos of them in their homes. Kinda like OW's I guess but no need to hide it from the W. Smart I think.
stillafool Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 Not your run of the mill prostitutes. But, prostitutes just the same.
donnamaybe Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 who says Sugardaddies are not emotionally attached to the ladies they have in their lives.... They keep photos of them in their homes. Kinda like OW's I guess but no need to hide it from the W. Smart I think. And the "ladies" are most often attached ONLY via the money and gifts. Ick.
grogster Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 who says Sugardaddies are not emotionally attached to the ladies they have in their lives.... They keep photos of them in their homes. Kinda like OW's I guess but no need to hide it from the W. Smart I think. Now we're blurring the lines. I understand a "sugardaddy" relationship to mean that, absent gifts, the substantially younger woman would not sexually "befriend" the older man. "No money, no nookie." It's a faux relationship--one born of need, his carnal, her's material. True, over time feelings might arise but the "relationship" glue is not love, but lucre.
a4a Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 And the "ladies" are most often attached ONLY via the money and gifts. Ick. They are also attached to the companionship of this man in this case..... He is hot as hell and all the little house wifies in the neighborhood chatter about him. He is so much fun to just be around. The life of the party to say the least. Lucky lucky girls get him and his fine gifts. Again not every sugardaddy makes you vomit when you look at them. Nor is every moment you spend with them about sex. Some men also enjoy the companionship of a beautiful women outside of the bedroom. (but I forgot fat and ugly are in now) He is very kind and generous to everyone. He just has no desire to be in 1 relationship. and you certainly can love another person but not be "in love" with them.
donnamaybe Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 It's a faux relationship--one born of need, his carnal, her's material. True, over time feelings might arise but the "relationship" glue is not love, but lucre. So, so true. I know of a gal who used to only date rich guys - the kind who would take her to expensive places and buy her things. She taught her daughter the same way of life. Now she's in her 50's and works as a teller at a bank and lives alone, no longer catching the eyes of the rich guys. I would feel sorry for her if she hadn't made the bed she now finds herself lying in.
a4a Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 So, so true. I know of a gal who used to only date rich guys - the kind who would take her to expensive places and buy her things. She taught her daughter the same way of life. Now she's in her 50's and works as a teller at a bank and lives alone, no longer catching the eyes of the rich guys. I would feel sorry for her if she hadn't made the bed she now finds herself lying in. OMG so now she is alone because she dated rich guys? I know lots of ladies that only dated poor guys that work at banks too. I guess she should have only dated poor guys and married a poor guy so she would be happy now? And being single at 50 isn't the end of the world. (but we know a woman can never be happy without a man!) Nothing more attractive and romantic than dating a guy that takes you to a fast food joint and tells you that you can order 2 items off the value menu. (that is fine if you are 16 years old) Where the hell is this new idea that living with/dating an unemployed guy in a single wide trailer is romantic and desirable? Is this some new thing? oh yeah..... rich people are evil.. and people who hang out with rich people are evil. Even if that rich person worked their ass off to earn it.... they are evil.
donnamaybe Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 "Money is the root of all evil." And if you live your life focused SOLELY on money first and foremost, it's gonna come back to bite you in the arse most of the time. The gal I mentioned focused SOLELY on money. Now those guys who flashed their money around and bought women with it won't give her a second look. And why would she have had to conversely date a poor guy to not be the gold digging type? Just date a guy for who HE is, not what he has, even if he's rich, poor, or in between. That's where true happiness lies, IMO. She just might have stumbled onto a rich guy if she had looked for the quality of the person instead of the size of the bank account.
Untouchable_Fire Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 OMG so now she is alone because she dated rich guys? I know lots of ladies that only dated poor guys that work at banks too. I guess she should have only dated poor guys and married a poor guy so she would be happy now? And being single at 50 isn't the end of the world. (but we know a woman can never be happy without a man!) Nothing more attractive and romantic than dating a guy that takes you to a fast food joint and tells you that you can order 2 items off the value menu. (that is fine if you are 16 years old) Where the hell is this new idea that living with/dating an unemployed guy in a single wide trailer is romantic and desirable? Is this some new thing? oh yeah..... rich people are evil.. and people who hang out with rich people are evil. Even if that rich person worked their ass off to earn it.... they are evil. There is more to life than money, but you can choose your mates on whatever criteria you wish.
donnamaybe Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 There is more to life than money, but you can choose your mates on whatever criteria you wish. Isn't it funny how all those words got crammed into my mouth?
a4a Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 There is more to life than money, but you can choose your mates on whatever criteria you wish. Quite true. I agree. But what amazes me is the bashing that occurs for people that have a different criteria. For some reason having nice things and going nice places is bad now. Repeat of the hippy era I guess. Keep in mind that I am not rich - nor do I have nor ever had a sugardaddy. But I would love a huge house with a huge pool and a string of nice cars to drive. If a hot guy I was dating and I enjoyed being around wanted to provide me with those things - so what! I would be a prostitute though? If my neighbor won the lottery and offered to build me a bigger house would I turn it down? Why should I? And not all sugardaddies are about sex sex sex sex. I think people don't get that part of it at all. The ladies they date are not unemployed and from trailer parks.... the ones I am aware of have careers. I have paid for friends to go on vacations with me if they were having a tough time financially..... I didn't have sex with them. But having them along was great. I am wondering how many stay at home moms would be considered prostitutes? I mean the man provides everything and she has sex with him. Many are not in love with their H's... they love their kids and he is just part of the program. At least a person dating a sugardaddy doesn't have to wash his underwear.
donnamaybe Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 At least a person dating a sugardaddy doesn't have to wash his underwear. I'm with a man, not a boy. He washes ALL his own laundry, does dishes, remodels our house, brings home a good paycheck, plays music with me, cooks, is an absolute STALLION in bed, etc. etc. etc. A very satisfying life, to be sure. Had money been my FIRST criteria in a man, I would never have found the prize I have.
a4a Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 I'm with a man, not a boy. He washes ALL his own laundry, does dishes, remodels our house, brings home a good paycheck, plays music with me, cooks, is an absolute STALLION in bed, etc. etc. etc. A very satisfying life, to be sure. Had money been my FIRST criteria in a man, I would never have found the prize I have. got news - rich guys do that too. (not sure about the playing music thing.... maybe they dance instead) He may hire a contractor to remodel the house not do it himself..... so what! how is that bad or makes him less of a catch? Usually they have maids that will wash their underwear and yours. Gourmet meals to go is a service in the area....... so cooking isn't that important. However SD's that I know do cook. Being rich doesn't make a man any less of a good person. Not sure why you needed to put this evidence out there about your own R. Must be a clue to something? I think some people actually get upset/jealous or need to justify their own relationships at times by bashing others. In some way maybe this makes them feel better? I don't get it. You can have just as much if not more of a satisfying life with a rich man. I understand that one of the primary reason couples argue is over money.
donnamaybe Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 The kind of rich guys who "buy" girlfriends are NOT the kind who would tend to make good life partners. I think virtually everyone is aware of that. Well, at least ALMOST everyone. Which is why the gal whose life is, by her own admission, lousy, and she no longer has any suitors. Remember the part where I said if she had focused on who they were as people she might have found her rich guy? I'm not saying money is bad. I don't know why you keep trying to put words in my mouth. I'm saying that people who focus SOLELY on money first and foremost are, at best, misguided and, at worst, golddigging (insert appropriate pronoun here), and they may just wind up with karma biting them in the booty.
a4a Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 The kind of rich guys who "buy" girlfriends are NOT the kind who would tend to make good life partners. I think virtually everyone is aware of that. Well, at least ALMOST everyone. Which is why the gal whose life is, by her own admission, lousy, and she no longer has any suitors. Remember the part where I said if she had focused on who they were as people she might have found her rich guy? I'm not saying money is bad. I don't know why you keep trying to put words in my mouth. I'm saying that people who focus SOLELY on money first and foremost are, at best, misguided and, at worst, golddigging (insert appropriate pronoun here), and they may just wind up with karma biting them in the booty. Rich guys have money.. so they are more apt to buy lavish gifts. And why is it so necessary for this "life partner" crap? Not every person has that desire. People look at other people and judge them on looks.... you are attracted to who you are attracted to. If I was single I wouldn't bother to date a guy that made less than 80k a year. I just wouldn't. 80k isn't jack now days. Nor could I date a guy with missing teeth. Does that make me a gold digger? No it does not- those are just my standards. Just like some guys won't date overweight women.... it doesn't matter how nice and fun they are they just don't float their boat.
Author MeaganRaye Posted May 8, 2009 Author Posted May 8, 2009 Quite true. I agree. But what amazes me is the bashing that occurs for people that have a different criteria. For some reason having nice things and going nice places is bad now. Repeat of the hippy era I guess. Keep in mind that I am not rich - nor do I have nor ever had a sugardaddy. But I would love a huge house with a huge pool and a string of nice cars to drive. If a hot guy I was dating and I enjoyed being around wanted to provide me with those things - so what! I would be a prostitute though? If my neighbor won the lottery and offered to build me a bigger house would I turn it down? Why should I? And not all sugardaddies are about sex sex sex sex. I think people don't get that part of it at all. The ladies they date are not unemployed and from trailer parks.... the ones I am aware of have careers. I have paid for friends to go on vacations with me if they were having a tough time financially..... I didn't have sex with them. But having them along was great. I am wondering how many stay at home moms would be considered prostitutes? I mean the man provides everything and she has sex with him. Many are not in love with their H's... they love their kids and he is just part of the program. At least a person dating a sugardaddy doesn't have to wash his underwear. Thank you. That is what my friend was telling me, sometimes tehy just want a nice attractive young girl to go out with them to their country club or to events. You don't have to have sex with these men. But if they are attractive AND have money it would be hard to resist after awhile!
donnamaybe Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 Spin it however you want. If the "gold standard" is a person's standard, then they'll just have to reap what they sow. Like the gal whose story I told. NOW she knows what she SHOULD have been focusing on. Too little too late. I wonder how her daughter is doing.
donnamaybe Posted May 8, 2009 Posted May 8, 2009 You don't have to have sex with these men. Yeah. Okay.
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