xpaperxcutx Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 So I finally just got home from a night of heavy petting. I'm soaking my worn out feet in hot water while I'm writing, so please bear with me. As you all might or might not have known, I went on a 2nd date with artist guy. We had made plans to go to the Met museum at 3 yesterday, but being the girl that I was, I met him an hour and a half late ( I was so embarrassed). We got to the museum 15 minutes before closing time and we practically laughed our ass off because we were soaked from the rain and we had barely even got through half the museum before we got kicked out of there. Since it was raining we decided to head to his family's place in a high rise near Park Ave. That place was amazing. It was on the 24th floor equipped with living room, dining room, bedroom, bathroom, and a huge patio where you can see the rest of Manhattan.We spent the rest of the night watching television on one of those tv screens that slide up from behind a painting. Honestly I was a bit intimidated by him because he obviously came from a well off family and I can barely compare myself to him. So for 3 hours we spent our time on his huge couch and we were basically at each other, and I could definitely tell he was turned on by me. I was dressed for the night, and I made sure I smelled nice, and it was great that he noticed. The one thing he did that really got me tingling was when he nibbled at my ears which was such a huge turn on because I never had anyone do that to me. I was going to pounce on him then and there. But I had too much self control for that. We grabbed dinner at 9 when we headed out to eat at this fancy Italian restaurant. We didn't order wine or anything intoxicating, but we had a very nice conversation. He paid for dinner. By the time we had finished, we headed back to his apartment in the east village, I decided to stay the night. We snuggled, hugged, and kissed. We didn't have sex, that was the one thing, I had wanted to do, but I didn't want to give it up to him too easily. Instead I gave him a blow job. I thought I was a tad bit rusty, but he complimented me for being amazing. We slept until this morning and grabbed breakfast ( which I paid for). He then walked me to the station; we hugged and I left. And now my feet hurt. The only thing that's on my mind right now is, we hugged when we said our goodbyes. We did that the last time I stayed over at his place. Is that normal? Shouldn't he have given me a peck on the lips or something? I honestly really like our little arrangement right now. There's no pressure to be anything or anyone to each other. We just are. I remember I was half awake last night thinking that should he ask me in the future to be anything more, I would choke on my words. I had a sense of foreboding that it would turn out really bad. It soured my mood a little because I had told him a couple of little white lies that if they ever came out he might hate me for them. So I won't think about them.
Jaytb Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 So I finally just got home from a night of heavy petting. I'm soaking my worn out feet in hot water while I'm writing, so please bear with me. As you all might or might not have known, I went on a 2nd date with artist guy. We had made plans to go to the Met museum at 3 yesterday, but being the girl that I was, I met him an hour and a half late ( I was so embarrassed). We got to the museum 15 minutes before closing time and we practically laughed our ass off because we were soaked from the rain and we had barely even got through half the museum before we got kicked out of there. Since it was raining we decided to head to his family's place in a high rise near Park Ave. That place was amazing. It was on the 24th floor equipped with living room, dining room, bedroom, bathroom, and a huge patio where you can see the rest of Manhattan.We spent the rest of the night watching television on one of those tv screens that slide up from behind a painting. Honestly I was a bit intimidated by him because he obviously came from a well off family and I can barely compare myself to him. So for 3 hours we spent our time on his huge couch and we were basically at each other, and I could definitely tell he was turned on by me. I was dressed for the night, and I made sure I smelled nice, and it was great that he noticed. The one thing he did that really got me tingling was when he nibbled at my ears which was such a huge turn on because I never had anyone do that to me. I was going to pounce on him then and there. But I had too much self control for that. We grabbed dinner at 9 when we headed out to eat at this fancy Italian restaurant. We didn't order wine or anything intoxicating, but we had a very nice conversation. He paid for dinner. By the time we had finished, we headed back to his apartment in the east village, I decided to stay the night. We snuggled, hugged, and kissed. We didn't have sex, that was the one thing, I had wanted to do, but I didn't want to give it up to him too easily. Instead I gave him a blow job. I thought I was a tad bit rusty, but he complimented me for being amazing. We slept until this morning and grabbed breakfast ( which I paid for). He then walked me to the station; we hugged and I left. And now my feet hurt. The only thing that's on my mind right now is, we hugged when we said our goodbyes. We did that the last time I stayed over at his place. Is that normal? Shouldn't he have given me a peck on the lips or something? I honestly really like our little arrangement right now. There's no pressure to be anything or anyone to each other. We just are. I remember I was half awake last night thinking that should he ask me in the future to be anything more, I would choke on my words. I had a sense of foreboding that it would turn out really bad. It soured my mood a little because I had told him a couple of little white lies that if they ever came out he might hate me for them. So I won't think about them. Oy vey, that's not good. Good for you that you had fun. I am really surprised that you're so willing to just spill out every little detail on here. I think for his sake you might want to keep some things private. You don't to have your whole personal life spilled out here for everyone to see, do you? (not criticizing, just saying keep that in mind)
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 4, 2009 Author Posted May 4, 2009 Oy vey, that's not good. Good for you that you had fun. I am really surprised that you're so willing to just spill out every little detail on here. I think for his sake you might want to keep some things private. You don't to have your whole personal life spilled out here for everyone to see, do you? (not criticizing, just saying keep that in mind) I thought the whole point of the forum was to write about things? Nobody knows me on here just like I don't know you. So you believe that's a bad idea that I expose myself like this?
Lauriebell82 Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 Oy vey, that's not good. Good for you that you had fun. I am really surprised that you're so willing to just spill out every little detail on here. I think for his sake you might want to keep some things private. You don't to have your whole personal life spilled out here for everyone to see, do you? (not criticizing, just saying keep that in mind) "Spilling every detail" is what loveshack is all about. However, you have to "spill" at your own risk. OP: why did you lie to him? It's only your second date what could you possibly have to lie about already?
Star Gazer Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 So you believe that's a bad idea that I expose myself like this? Not here on LS, but with the guys, yes.
BCCA Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 Blow job on the second date, eh? *sigh* Yeah, I dont see why women think this is any less than sex. Honestly as a guy, I would have more respect for someone who had sex with me than someone who gave me a BJ on the second date. I hope hes not like me, but you would immediately go into my 'booty call' list.
Star Gazer Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 Yeah, I dont see why women think this is any less than sex. Honestly as a guy, I would have more respect for someone who had sex with me than someone who gave me a BJ on the second date. I hope hes not like me, but you would immediately go into my 'booty call' list. Every guy pal of mine feels the same way. At least with sex, she's really getting something out of it (hopefully). A BJ is another one of those "let me help satisfy you sexually" schticks that the OP has gotten herself into with a new guy.
amaysngrace Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 Did you pack a toothbrush because if you swallowed and didn't brush your teeth maybe he didn't want to kiss you and that's why you got a hug? That or maybe he thinks you give BJs to everyone so easily?
BCCA Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 Every guy pal of mine feels the same way. At least with sex, she's really getting something out of it (hopefully). A BJ is another one of those "let me help satisfy you sexually" schticks that the OP has gotten herself into with a new guy. Personally, it takes me some 'getting to know' someone before my mouth goes near their crotch. Im far from a prude in any way, but I think the first time you sleep together, you should expect some regular old sex. Maybe you can switch positions of something, but going down on someone generally takes a month or two of sleeping together. I dont get why people think that blowing a guy is less than sleeping with him. Like you said, at least you get something out of the sex. If the idea is that its not sex, its just not sex for the woman...youre still getting the guy off.
Star Gazer Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 Personally, it takes me some 'getting to know' someone before my mouth goes near their crotch. That made me laugh. That or maybe he thinks you give BJs to everyone so easily? You said it...
Jaytb Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 I thought the whole point of the forum was to write about things? Nobody knows me on here just like I don't know you. So you believe that's a bad idea that I expose myself like this? Well coupled with your avatar, I was just concerned about your privacy. He could, after all, be on this very site.
bean1 Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 You were annoyed and asked why men kept talking about masturbation in your conversations. I guess you answered your own question here. Hey, I'm not knocking you, my SO and I had sex on our 3rd date (got a kiss on the 2nd though - on the cheek ). BUT... don't be suprised that men are throwing out fishing hooks to get you to bait them. Apparently, you bite.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 5, 2009 Author Posted May 5, 2009 "Spilling every detail" is what loveshack is all about. However, you have to "spill" at your own risk. OP: why did you lie to him? It's only your second date what could you possibly have to lie about already? I told him a little lie about my family.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 5, 2009 Author Posted May 5, 2009 Yeah, I dont see why women think this is any less than sex. Honestly as a guy, I would have more respect for someone who had sex with me than someone who gave me a BJ on the second date. I hope hes not like me, but you would immediately go into my 'booty call' list. Sometimes I wonder if LS contradicts itself. How is having sex any better than a bj? I thought you guys lose respect for a woman who gives herself up that early, and on a second date as well. I thought a bj would be more tame than that.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 5, 2009 Author Posted May 5, 2009 Did you pack a toothbrush because if you swallowed and didn't brush your teeth maybe he didn't want to kiss you and that's why you got a hug? That or maybe he thinks you give BJs to everyone so easily? Lmao.. I actually never thought about that. I think he did kiss me after the bj. I don't give bjs to just anybody.
Els Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 I'm a bit puzzled. Why did you do the bj? Did it just feel right? Did you do it because you wanted it, or because you wanted to do something nice for him after the nice night together? With that said, frankly I think it's pure sexism if a woman is considered promiscuous, slutty, no respect for herself etc etc if she has sex early, whereas for a man it's usually just claps on the back and 'you da man, bro!'. Too early and men say you're setting yourself up for being a booty call. Yet some men say that they wouldn't continue going out with a girl if she doesn't have sex by date 4 or 5. So I suppose there's supposed to be magic number three or something? Why does a woman have to live her dating life trying to please everyone? I would have sex as early as papercut did if it seemed right to me with THAT guy, and that doesn't mean that I go around blowing every guy I see. But yes, why a bj? And no reciprocation from him too?
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 5, 2009 Author Posted May 5, 2009 Personally, it takes me some 'getting to know' someone before my mouth goes near their crotch. Im far from a prude in any way, but I think the first time you sleep together, you should expect some regular old sex. Maybe you can switch positions of something, but going down on someone generally takes a month or two of sleeping together. I dont get why people think that blowing a guy is less than sleeping with him. Like you said, at least you get something out of the sex. If the idea is that its not sex, its just not sex for the woman...youre still getting the guy off. Sex isn't like that to me. Sex is special. I mean we had both had thoughts about it, but he didn't have a condom, and I was nervous about letting him touch my vagina. I'm just so self conscious that he wouldn't like me. I don't mind getting a guy off. He was hard the entire night, and I didn't see it as trying to satisfying him as more of a I just want to do something for him because I like him.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 5, 2009 Author Posted May 5, 2009 I'm a bit puzzled. Why did you do the bj? Did it just feel right? Did you do it because you wanted it, or because you wanted to do something nice for him after the nice night together? With that said, frankly I think it's pure sexism if a woman is considered promiscuous, slutty, no respect for herself etc etc if she has sex early, whereas for a man it's usually just claps on the back and 'you da man, bro!'. Too early and men say you're setting yourself up for being a booty call. Yet some men say that they wouldn't continue going out with a girl if she doesn't have sex by date 4 or 5. So I suppose there's supposed to be magic number three or something? Why does a woman have to live her dating life trying to please everyone? I would have sex as early as papercut did if it seemed right to me with THAT guy, and that doesn't mean that I go around blowing every guy I see. But yes, why a bj? And no reciprocation from him too? I'm a bit puzzled. So going down on a guy makes me lose self respect as compared to actually having sex with him? I wasn't trying to please him. I wanted to do it. And I don't blow every guy. I did want to have sex with him, but I wasn't going to have it with him on a second date. I think that if there are further dates in the future, then yes, sex would a possibility. Don't assume I'm promiscuous.
Els Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 I'm a bit puzzled. So going down on a guy makes me lose self respect as compared to actually having sex with him? I wasn't trying to please him. I wanted to do it. And I don't blow every guy. I did want to have sex with him, but I wasn't going to have it with him on a second date. I think that if there are further dates in the future, then yes, sex would a possibility. Don't assume I'm promiscuous. Papercut... I was defending you. Perhaps you might want to read my 3rd paragraph again. By the way, I consider bjs as sex -- just oral sex. So all of my statements were referring to sex, inclusive of bjs.
Lucky_One Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 If sex is too special to jump into, then why give him a BF?
Kamille Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 a few things are going on here. the theme is: you're trying too hard. Don't you think you, just you, getting to know you, is good enough? Don't you think getting to know him before you decide you HAVE TO convince him you're worthy of his time would be better? The reason a lot of us are concerned about the blow job is because it sounds like you might have done it because you think you need to use sex to keep him enticed. Like you aren't enough. So it's not so much the act that's problematic, but the fact that it might be an index that you are selling yourself short here. What it comes down to is that if you don't believe you're worth it, then he has no reason to believe it either. These wise words of wisdom are used here a lot for a reason: we teach others how to treat us.
amaysngrace Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 a few things are going on here. the theme is: you're trying too hard. Exactly. I don't like the whole thing of it papercut. First you asked him out. You buy breakfast. And that is after you give him a blowjob. I understand you wanted to give him one..he didn't force you to..but you are setting a bad tone here. You are setting yourself up to be at his mercy. And he's not going to think all that highly of you.
bean1 Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 Exactly. I don't like the whole thing of it papercut. First you asked him out. You buy breakfast. And that is after you give him a blowjob. If he doesn't have to put any effort into you on your 1st or 2nd date, then he isn't going to start stepping up at a later time. Us old gals with our old farts sitting on the couch on a Friday night can assure you of that. Do not allow yourself to be used.
Star Gazer Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 How is having sex any better than a bj? I thought you guys lose respect for a woman who gives herself up that early, and on a second date as well. You're not understanding. Having sex isn't "any better than a BJ," nor is a BJ any better/tamer than sex. They are one and the same when done on a second date. With that said, frankly I think it's pure sexism if a woman is considered promiscuous, slutty, no respect for herself etc etc if she has sex early, whereas for a man it's usually just claps on the back and 'you da man, bro!'. Who here is saying it's okay for a man to do this? I'd consider a man who jumps in the sack, gets BJs, or gives oral, that soon to be a man whore. I really would. I've been guilty of moving too fast in the past. And you know what I thought? "Sex/oral must not be special for him." But it was to me... and so I always wound up hurt, and used. A lot like Paper. Paper is an attractive, seemingly fun girl. No young, redblooded man is going to turn down a BJ from someone like Paper. But at the same time, young, attractive, fun girls who give it up easily are a dime a dozen, as are the attractive, fun men who'd get down and dirty easily. What separates those who get treated with respect and find themelves in happy relationships from girls who behave like Paper is that the former generally don't give it up easily. Sex isn't like that to me. Sex is special. I mean we had both had thoughts about it, but he didn't have a condom, and I was nervous about letting him touch my vagina. I'm just so self conscious that he wouldn't like me. So you would have had sex with him if he had a condom. And yet you didn't want him to touch your vagina because you were worried that he wouldn't like you? You were worried that he wouldn't like you, so instead, you sucked his d*ck?? I don't like the whole thing of it papercut. First you asked him out. You buy breakfast. And that is after you give him a blowjob. And he's not going to think all that highly of you. Exactly. He's laying back and enjoying the ride, putting forth absolutely no effort, while you try to make him like you. Why not get to know someone first? Why not find out if they really like you before engaging in sex, oral or intercourse, rather than giving it up in the hopes it will make them like you? I never understand why women think that engaging in physical activity will make a man like/love them. It just does not work that way with men.
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