TheDonny Posted October 21, 2003 Share Posted October 21, 2003 Okay. This is my first post and I'm going to be completely truthful. I just got my first real girlfriend. We have been going out for about two weeks and I am already getting worried about our relationship. She has dated other guys and is more expierienced with handling relationships. I am scared that I will lose her due to my being a novice. And to make matters worse, I get real nervous when I talk to her. And when I get nervous I fall back on sarcasm and crude humor to protect me. I don't know how to explain this to her. She is a wonderful girl and we have a lot in common, so I don't want to lead this relationship down a path of destruction. Does anyone have any advice? Can you help me out? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted October 21, 2003 Share Posted October 21, 2003 I advise you to get ahold of yourself, be cool, and stop using sarcasm as a defense. Just take the relationship one day at a time...and pretend you are a veteran. Take her out, show her a good time, be yourself and move it on from there. If you can't control your tongue or find other ways of making conversation when you're nervous...yes, you will bomb. Why not do some rehearsals in your mind prior to your dates? Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 Why do you think being a novice will lead to you losing her? Having more relationships does not make the quality of each one better. Having insight into what makes you react the way you do is much more important and you seem to have that. Being nervous is no real problem either - if she doesn't take the time to get to know the real you then she doesn't deserve you. Sarcasm can be very funny as long as it is not too cruel or at her expense. Crude humour can be a real turn off for some so best try and curb this until you know her tastes. Most of the things you mention do not seem to be problems - only thing to watch is the insecurity. Everyone gets struck by this sometime and classic mistake is to start testing the relationship to try and reassure yourself leading to conflict, more insecurity etc. If you are aware of this you can prevent it happening. Be optimistic and confident that others will like you - they will if they are your kind of people. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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