andy2009 Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 NC stage. 7th day. anger, don't want her back. Dont know what will be tomorrows' stage.
huck Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 Im in the up and down stage.. Feel good and positive 1 day - but then the next i feel really down. If she called/texted ive got a feeling i might buckle - even after all the hurt and pain she put me through....
t0ri Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 I'm in the "what the hell was I thinking," or "eff you" mode. I haven't felt mad at all until this past week, and it feels good. I put up with A LOT of crap from my ex, and he did me a favor by dumping my butt, as much as it broke my heart. And finally, I have stopped blaming myself (yay!). But who knows, I'll probably be back to the depressed phase sometime soon. It's a vicious cycle.
fairycake Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 It's been 4 months since break up, 2 and a half since any email etc. I've accepted it but still hurt, still angry some days, still thinking why? I don't think I want him back anymore as too much damage has been done but I think about him everyday. Even had few weak moments where I looked him up on facebook just to see his pic. I deleted my own pics of him and him off my page. Saw something (nothing important) he wrote on a mutual friend's (well his family actually but I didn't delete her as she's done nothing wrong) page and my stomach turned over. I don't talk to anyone associated with him which is something as if I find out he's seeing someone else it'll really mess me up.
fairycake Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 Oh yeah and although I don't think I want him anymore I still want him to regret it and want me.
fabulous_chk Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 I'm in the dreaming stage........creating scenarios in my head wherein he's begging me to come back and then I get the chance to laugh at him.
iBelieve In Symmetry Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 It's complicated, actually... I've been checking her blog and MySpace recently hoping she would post something showing any sign that she might miss me... to no luck. In fact she would write things like, "I wish I knew what to tell you," and on her MySpace it just shows how happy she is with her current life (without me -___-) What's interesting, though, is usually I feel fine. Yes, it hurts, but not how it used to where all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and die. It bothers me, and it makes me slightly anxious. But for the most part, I usually feel hopeful for the future, and like I'm going to get through this just fine. But, out of habit, I check her blog/MySpace, and I've noticed after doing that it's the ONLY time I get depressed and 'go back to square one'. Any insight on this little dilemma, guys?
iBelieve In Symmetry Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 Im in the i hate the ****ing mole and i hope she burns stage. JK . In all seriousness i dont give a **** what happens to her anymore. I guess im in the i cant believe i fell for her **** stage and im glad im out. Been 6 weeks Honestly, this inspired me. 6 weeks and at this stage already? Congrats!
iBelieve In Symmetry Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 it's so hard to want someone so badly but not be able to stand the sight of them at the same time. You're not alone.
BW007 Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 I am in the land of regret stage and also the "How did it go so wrong?" stage. If I am honest I really, really miss her but I am also coming to realize what a big friggin liar she became. It such a mixed up feeling because I am really mad and really miss her at the same time. I do admit I think less and less of her as I realize how bad she lied, but I really miss the good stuff too.
Tizzy Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 It's been about a month since I broke up with my ex, and while I still miss him tremendously, I am moving on. I did the whole crying thing for the first couple of days but after that life went on. I will admit that I do still have moments of sadness and reflection over our relationship from time to time, but it doesn't consume me or leave me in intolerable grief like some of the stories I've read here. It's not that I don't miss him or care about him, but I honestly don't have the time or energy to sit around and mope about a relationship gone bad. B/w school, work and taking care of my kid I'd rather do more productive things with my time. I started dating again last week and am enjoying the possibilities.
Author notalone Posted May 24, 2009 Author Posted May 24, 2009 It's complicated, actually... But, out of habit, I check her blog/MySpace, and I've noticed after doing that it's the ONLY time I get depressed and 'go back to square one'. Any insight on this little dilemma, guys? Let me know when you find an answer to that.
Nuala83 Posted May 24, 2009 Posted May 24, 2009 Your heart is broken. So is your life. You are grieving. Its a long and torturous journey. What stop are you at now? Crying into the pillow? Throwing expensive china on the wall? burning his/her gifts? Blaming yourself? Doing NC to move on? Doing NC in the hopes of getting back together? Doubting the concept of justice? Looking for replacements in pubs? Taking prozac? Wishing him/her well? Wishing you would die? Checking their facebook/myspace? Wishing they would die? Stalking them? Swimming in alcohol? Where are you now? All of the above. I seem to go throught all of them on a day to day basis. Sad but true
Odyssey Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 My ex-gf broke up with me a month ago, but I'm in day 10 NC. I'm at the stage where I'm trying to figure out exactly what went wrong in our relationship. Sometimes reminisce about those happy times we had, and that's when i start hurting and missing her SO MUCH. But I know we will never get back together.
muhlissah Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 Well I'm only two weeks and I really don't know where I'm at. I almost feel numb. I still cry every day and I get angry every day. I don't know what stage this would be considered.
iBelieve In Symmetry Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 Oh yeah and although I don't think I want him anymore I still want him to regret it and want me. Yeah, same here. I don't think it's fair I put up with her lying and all her sh*t and problems for over a year, to just end up heartbroken. I feel I deserve at least a little satisfaction in all of this. -_______-
iBelieve In Symmetry Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 I guess this is the stage before acceptance?! This is what I ask myself before every stage, hahaha. Hoping that it is so! I'm sure I'm not the only one who does this. Except when I'm really depressed...
hp321 Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 Im at the, more good times than bad-stage. I feel quite good most of the time. There are moments now and then, but it's not that bad anymore. I know I am a good person, and that I will find someone very special someday
Echo009 Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 It's hard to say what "Stage" I am in. It has been 10 weeks now since she left, how long does it take to put 7.5 years behind you? I don't cry anymore. Sometimes I am depressed, sometimes I think about her all the time, only the good. I can't go no contact because of my kids, but I do not phone her or message her for anything but the kids. I removed her from my facebook list a month ago, that actually helped. And now, at the advise of a lawyer, I am simply sitting back and doing nothing in regards to seperation. Her demands are unreasonable, simply waiting it out. I guess in a quick summary, I live my life. I have always been someone who can easily spend time alone and be happy, she was the only one I really let into my world. I think about her, I probably still love her. But there is so much pain, hate, anger, that I sometimes can barely look at her. Like someone said above, I hope she one day changes her mind, but then when the decision falls to me, I don't know if I would take her back.
Montclair0011 Posted May 25, 2009 Posted May 25, 2009 I'm in the "wish I had never been born" stage. I have spent 85% of the past 5 years grieving over the loss of first my husband, and then a boyfriend (whom I met two years after the husband left). I have not had any contact with the boyfriend since Feb or March and that was just a short phone call. I just can't shake the despair. I'm also got laid off from a 15+ year job so I'm in morning for that as well. It's like I went into this tunnel and I'm never coming out. Not sure what I did to deserve all this pain, but it must have been pretty bad. The only things that keep me going are my child, exercise and psychotherapy. I also have a great sense of humor, although it's probably not coming through in this post.
muhlissah Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I guess I figured out that I am at the I wanna die stage. My husband (I don't know when to call him my ex) was here to see our son and after my son went to bed we started to talk about stuff. I was making notes as its important to do when we talk, and as he was talking I kept thinking about taking the pen and stabbing it through my temple. I had the I want to die thoughts a lot at first but now I really only think them when I go into panic mode. I just want my life back, I want normal back. I have a long way to go to get to normal.
t0ri Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I feel for you guys...some of you are in way worse positions than I am. But the pain is real and evident with all of us, regardless of circumstances. I wish you all a quick recovery from this though... I was in the pissed off mode a few days ago, and now I'm back to disbelief. I'm still utterly shocked. Depression is creeping back up the past day or so again, but the bitterness is still there. I'm sick of this cycle already!!! I wonder if any type of emotional cycle is going on with him. Probably not.
Gottabestrong Posted May 26, 2009 Posted May 26, 2009 I am at the stage where I have to fight every minute to keep myself from crying. My stomach is hurting so much and the thought that I will never see him again feels like a death sentence. I start to panic and just want to hold on to him in any way I can. Please G-d, make this stage go by quickly! I don't know how much more of it I can stand.
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