notalone Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 Your heart is broken. So is your life. You are grieving. Its a long and torturous journey. What stop are you at now? Crying into the pillow? Throwing expensive china on the wall? burning his/her gifts? Blaming yourself? Doing NC to move on? Doing NC in the hopes of getting back together? Doubting the concept of justice? Looking for replacements in pubs? Taking prozac? Wishing him/her well? Wishing you would die? Checking their facebook/myspace? Wishing they would die? Stalking them? Swimming in alcohol? Where are you now? Link to post Share on other sites
PinkRibbon Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 I am at the hopeless stage. I feel hopeless about pretty much everything. I had no decision in this, I have no way to fix it, I have no idea how to get by without him and I have no way to make the pain go away. It hurts to just live some days. So I am at the hopeless stage wishing and praying he will come back. Link to post Share on other sites
Peter_pan Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 im on the trying not to think about it stage Link to post Share on other sites
monkeymaid Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 i am between deppresion, anger and hoping to get her back, though the more we interact, it seems the shorter my fuse gets Link to post Share on other sites
gorillacupcakes Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 I'm at the getting better each day stage, and trying to keep NC to forget...although her birthday/our anniversary is approaching and I feel I should at least call her or text her. Month 3 compared to the first 2 has been amazing but I still feel incredibly lonely and lost at times. Link to post Share on other sites
GoneButNotForgotten Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 From my breakup I learned something about myself. I think of the breakup as an injury I took to my knee years ago. At the begininng it is terrible and I was questioning if I would be ever able to run and play sports again. As time went on and I worked at it, the range of motion and ability came back slowly even though it hurt. Each day that passed it hurt a little less and more of my ability came back. Now it has been years, every so often on bad days or whatever reason it can hurt and feel uncomforable. But it passes and life goes on and I just work through it and keep going. It has turned out that is how I am handling this past breakup. I'm at the stage now were almost everything is back to relative normality. But there are flareups where it hurts. They subside and I continue on. I'm not sure it will ever be completely gone, but I am sure that I can live just fine and continue with life without difficulties. It may seem like an odd analogy to have used, but it works for me. The scars on my heart remind me that the past is real. I don't need the scars to fade; I just need my heart to be healed. Link to post Share on other sites
Peter_pan Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 guys i am feeling so bad right now... oh god. i feel i was wrong going into NC to heal. now i feel like a complete stranger as if we never happened. and thats just not right. i feel like such a BAD person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author notalone Posted May 4, 2009 Author Share Posted May 4, 2009 Peter Pan, I lost my best friend in the break up. He was my boyfriend for over an year but before that we were the closest of pals for years. He was my rock. Now it has been 2 months since I have heard his voice or had any sort of contact from him. Best friend turend boyfriend turned stranger. Life's like that...I guess. Jesus...I just watched Grey's Anatomy. WARNING: do not watch emotional telly while in trauma. :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 Best friend turend boyfriend turned stranger. :/ So simple but so profound. Link to post Share on other sites
Peter_pan Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 yeh we were not friends before hand. but she was my rock. and everything to me. i regret my actions and not seeking help for my ocd. but would that have kept her in my arms? who knows. Link to post Share on other sites
Crow9726 Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 In a long and pronounced deep, dark and almost debilitating depression from which I don't think I will ever recover or totally emerge from Link to post Share on other sites
TheBigCow Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 To those who feel like they've lost their best friend.. My ex of 5.5 years was my best and only close friend, over time I really alienated people who could have been other good friends by passing up opportunities to bond to instead be with my girl and loosing this friend has been so incredibly hard.. BUT, now is the time to reconnect with old friends, make new friends and bond with your family. Over the last 3 months I have become alot closer and really connected with alot of people I never thought I would and although it hasn't eased the pain much I now know that I have support in places I never would have guessed. One certain person who I hardly knew broke up with his girlfriend at the same time and now we're great friends after talking each other through our problems. Sorry this isn't a way to feel better, but know that good can come from loosing your best friend in this way, as horrible as it is. Link to post Share on other sites
LadyV Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 i am between deppresion, anger and hoping to get her back, though the more we interact, it seems the shorter my fuse gets This is where I was at, until yesterday...Hoping he would change...if he loved me as much as he says he does, I was hoping he would be willing to get the help he needed to figure things out. Yesterday was confirmation that it was just all a waste of time...I went back to NC, and am so depressed....I haven't cried, I guess because I've shed enough tears over all of this, but I am feeling empty, and wanting to stalk his FB page, along with the girl whom he has a date set up with...I took the initiative to call my phone company and have his number blocked...he can't call or text me. I closed the email account he would write me on, as well as blocked FB pages of her as well as him.... It sucks, I miss him, but don't miss the drama....I need to move on, and just want to get through this. Link to post Share on other sites
CM2009 Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 I'm in the whatever mode. If she calls cool, if not whatever. I went on a trip to see my family and some friends this weekend, and had the time of my life. The STBXW called once to see how I was doing. I don't care right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Peter_pan Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 I'm in the whatever mode. If she calls cool, if not whatever. I went on a trip to see my family and some friends this weekend, and had the time of my life. The STBXW called once to see how I was doing. I don't care right now. stbxw? my ex never bothered when it ended. she was probably annoyed that i was ignoring her. in her words. but i told her it was to hard to stay in touch. Link to post Share on other sites
EmperorR Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 I'm in the I hope she changes her mind but even if she did I don't know if I would want her back mode. Link to post Share on other sites
EmperorR Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 Peter Pan, I lost my best friend in the break up. He was my boyfriend for over an year but before that we were the closest of pals for years. He was my rock. Now it has been 2 months since I have heard his voice or had any sort of contact from him. Best friend turend boyfriend turned stranger. Life's like that...I guess. Jesus...I just watched Grey's Anatomy. WARNING: do not watch emotional telly while in trauma. :/ I've had this happened to me twice in the past 8 months it SUCKS Link to post Share on other sites
PinkRibbon Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 I'm in the I hope she changes her mind but even if she did I don't know if I would want her back mode. I feel like I am a little in this mode. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 we've literally just broken up for the second and final time and I feel a bizare combination of relief, calm and complete devestation. I wanted to marry him, have babies with him - I don't think I can cope without his arms, his kiss, his love Why give me something so beautiful to snatch it away? To teach me? Why is life such a cruel teacher? I'd give him anything, us anything - why can't fate/God/whatever, just let me have the man I love? :( :( Link to post Share on other sites
9Lives Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 we've literally just broken up for the second and final time and I feel a bizare combination of relief, calm and complete devestation. I wanted to marry him, have babies with him - I don't think I can cope without his arms, his kiss, his love Why give me something so beautiful to snatch it away? To teach me? Why is life such a cruel teacher? I'd give him anything, us anything - why can't fate/God/whatever, just let me have the man I love? :( :( I am with you on that. Why cant I have the one I love? That all I want...Just one!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
9Lives Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Your heart is broken. So is your life. You are grieving. Its a long and torturous journey. What stop are you at now? Crying into the pillow? Throwing expensive china on the wall? burning his/her gifts? Blaming yourself? Doing NC to move on? Doing NC in the hopes of getting back together? Doubting the concept of justice? Looking for replacements in pubs? Taking prozac? Wishing him/her well? Wishing you would die? Checking their facebook/myspace? Wishing they would die? Stalking them? Swimming in alcohol? Where are you now? I am in the hoping stage...slowly moving into the accepting it stage I guess. I still have alot of hope ..,.I still have alot of cant believe thoughts too, Link to post Share on other sites
fabulous_chk Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 I'm in the acceptance stage. Link to post Share on other sites
vessv6l Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Im in the i hate the ****ing mole and i hope she burns stage. JK . In all seriousness i dont give a **** what happens to her anymore. I guess im in the i cant believe i fell for her **** stage and im glad im out. Been 6 weeks Link to post Share on other sites
bobbyjohannah Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 It's been 6 months for me, and I know deep down I still want him back, because he was my first everything, love, boyfriend and person I had sex with. But I know it could never go back to that relationship now, it's dead and gone, he is with someone else, and after his cheating and lying I don't think I could ever be with him again no matter how much i wanted to be, too much damage has been done, I think I am finally accepting everything, but it's so hard to want someone so badly but not be able to stand the sight of them at the same time. Link to post Share on other sites
Soul Bear Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 I'm in the I hope she changes her mind but even if she did I don't know if I would want her back mode. Me too...I guess this is the stage before acceptance?! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts