Ask or not?

[Softsoul]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. During this time, I never explicitly asked him about his past, but the information kept coming in small bits and pieces. I know he had about two serious girlfriends, but I don't know for how long, or any other specific information about it. In a way I really wish to know because I want to get to know him better. But there is another side of it; I'm kind of afraid to ask because I'm afraid the info might hurt me. I love him so much and the idea of him being with another woman hurts. What do you think, how much of your bf/gf's past should you know? Do you have to know the details or are you saitsfied with the unknown?

[TaraMaiden]

If you consider that knowing information about him will give you pain, then you are insecure about your own worth.

 

To wish to know about his past, is not a way of getting to know him better.

What you are doing is asking out of morbid curiosity. you want to know in what ways they were good together, to see whether they were 'better than you' in any way....

 

you cannot turn back the clock.

he had girlfriends.

he is with you, not them.

you cannot go in and change his past, all you can do is accept it and build on the future.

I would rather have a partner with some life experience under his belt, than someone vague and uncertain through ignorance.

you cannot be jealous of people who are no longer present.

It is not fair on him, and not fair on you.

[era]

how much of your bf/gf's past should you know?

 

PAST being the operative word.

 

Try being focused and grateful for the present.

[carhill]

So, how many men have you been with? How does he feel when you share the details of those relationships with him? IMO, those are great questions to ponder.

 

My instinct is you feel he still has a "thing" for one of his exes. Fair enough. Examine your own history to validate that, or not. The answers lie within you