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How do I become motivated to date?


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Posted

I'm 28, male. Would like to meet someone but even after being single for 6 years really don't ever have the motivation to ever ask a woman for a date. After having a couple ~2 year relationships when I was younger the whole novelty and excitement just seems to be gone from dating for me.

 

The whole concept of a relationship just doesn't impress me much anymore. Having to live with someone. Having to be "ON" all the time. Knowing that I my masculinity is under constant scrutiny.

 

I just don't see anymore what the point of it all is. I have enough trouble entertaining myself, pleasing myself... and deal enough with my own self-criticism. To have to also please someone else and make sure they have their perfect little world just so I can have sex and someone to cuddle with at night? Been there done that. It's nice but it doesn't make up for the exhaustion of having to be a perfect man 24/7.

 

I guess I'm just lonely but, eh, don't really feel like there's any alternative.

 

Anyone know where I'm at?

Posted

Gees. If having a relationship were as much work as you are stating, I wouldn't bother, either. It shouldn't be that painful. Seriously. In a good relationship you should be able to just BE WHO YOU ARE. I don't feel like I'm constantly performing for my BF. I just am who I am and he loves me for it. He does the same. I roll my eyes at some of the stuff he does, but I don't expect perfection at all. How boring that would be.

 

Maybe if you were to ever experience that "ease" with a woman and just being able to be who you are, you'd be motivated to date her. ;)

Posted

I'm not dating right now...I sometimes feel it would be an intrusion in my life.

 

Taking care of myself seems to be a full-time job, and I'm not interested in taking on someone else's problems because I have enough of my own.

 

I am one of those women that in the past had to ask for "space" - this is because I felt smothered in my last 2 relationships.

 

Right now I am in a good place, and I don't feel lonely...it's the opinion of society, friends, and family who think I should be feel lonely - but I don't feel that way.

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