oldsoul Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 First off, Hi to all. New poster I have been lurking a few weeks reading the boards and I am well aware of the pain / confusion many people are feeling after seperating. I am not a relationship guru by any means but I have had 4 long term relationships that have lasted over 5 yrs. The longest being 10 and the shortest 5. I have been on both sides of the fence the dumper /dumpee. I would like to share a few things if I may. There's only 2 ways for a relationship. It's either forever after or breakup. There is no in between. We all want what we cant have. It's human nature to cling to a hope than to face the reality that maybe it is over. Our instinct ( including myself ) is to stay involved in their lives so they will see that we very much are thinking/caring about them. This does not help the person who was dumped The day will come for each and everyone of us where we will need/want closure. Whether it is a day/week/month/year down the road our heart / head will tell us to get closure. I will tell you from experience that when that day comes everything starts to be a little easier to deal with. I highly recommend to everyone that if you need that closure to do so. Whether it is a phone call/ email ....etc. Whatever works for you, When you feel ready. Do it. Do not leave questions/hopes hanging.It's not good ! Say your piece and stick to it. Get it out whether it is mean to vent anger or loving get it out of your system. It may hurt like heck to say goodbye but in the longrun you will have an easier time moving on and healing. And theres always the old cliche "" If you love someone set them free if they come back it was meant to be "" Just an oldsoul
lovelinefan Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 I opened this thread thinking that "old school" coping would = alcohol Thanks for the advice on closure.
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