Guy sets up a date then never follows through, one year later he's interested again?

[Strawberry Fields]

Hi,

 

I'll try to keep this short.

 

Basically, a year ago... this really handsome looking guy in my class asked me out on a date. I secretly had a crush on this guy since day one and I had no idea he'd be interested in me, but that's besides the point. He asked me out, I gave him my number, and he never followed up.

 

We would see each other around every once and a while - at the store, mall, etc. - and he wouldn't approach me. Sometimes our eyes would meet but we never came over to each other and started conversation. After having this happen a few times I thought for sure that he just had a change of heart and wasn't interested anymore.

 

Anyway, since we go to the same college I see him around sometimes. A few days ago we were about to pass each other down a hallway. As we were walking by each other we just looked at each other. My curiosity got the best of me, since I'm not usually rejected, and I suddenly wanted to know why. At that instant, having passed him, I turned around and said, "Hi". He kept walking but responded, then I responded back and stopped. I guess he was expecting me to not respond since he kept walking?... I'm not sure, but once he saw that I stopped, he stopped and began to walk back towards me.

 

At that moment, I jokingly said, "How have you been? You asked me out and I never heard from you again." He just laughed and I said, "Rejection?" and he replied, "Yeah, I guess." Anyway... we talked for a bit and as we were about to part he says, "I hope to hear from you sometime. I still have your number."

 

A few minutes later, he texted me saying he hopes to hear from me soon. I told him that he should keep in touch. Later that night, I was dwelling on our situation and I texted him asking him to be honest to why he didn't follow up on our date. He replied that he was "intimidated" and had a crush on me for some time. Learning this, I got a little excited since I had a crush on him as well... but everything kinda struck me as weird. If he was intimidated, there where did the courage to ask me out come from? Why wouldn't he follow up if he went as far as to ask me out in the first place?

 

Anyway, he texted me the morning after that and the day after that and asked me if I would like to hang out with him. I still haven't answered him since I'm not really sure what to think. Part of me thinks he's kind of a player, I mean... he is very attractive. Maybe he didn't follow up because he had someone on the side. Then again, the other part of me wants to believe he was shy and wants to hang out with him. So... I'm kinda torn.

 

Anyway! Sorry if this was long - a third person perspective would be greatly appreciated.

[Cherished]

To "hang out" is not acceptable. If he is serious, he will ask you out for dinner, on a real date, not hanging out crap.

[Lucky_One]

Personally, I call BS. For a man to ask me out, ask for my number, and never call to confirm is a dealbreaker.

 

Shy? He had enough guts to do the hard stuff - to ask you out and to get your number. You had already said yes, so it wasn't like he was afraid of being rejected by you.

 

I'd be done with him. I don't find men attractive who don't appreciate me from the beginning AND treat me well.

[start-fresh]

I don't know, he sounds like a flake to me. That excuse about him being intimidated is kinda weak, IMO. You're right that it doesn't make any sense for him to be intimidated if he had the guts to straight up ask you out in the first place. I think you were pushed to the back burner and now he has no other options and figured, why not?

[Cherished]

I agree, if he were that into you, he would have at least said "hi" all those times you saw each other. You had to say "hi" first this last time, not a good sign of things to come.

[Strawberry Fields]

Personally, I call BS. For a man to ask me out, ask for my number, and never call to confirm is a dealbreaker.

 

Shy? He had enough guts to do the hard stuff - to ask you out and to get your number. You had already said yes, so it wasn't like he was afraid of being rejected by you.

 

I'd be done with him. I don't find men attractive who don't appreciate me from the beginning AND treat me well.

 

Agreed. I think the only reason why I'm still giving him a chance is because I find him really attractive. I also feel that I'm just giving him the benefit of the doubt.

[Strawberry Fields]

I don't know, he sounds like a flake to me. That excuse about him being intimidated is kinda weak, IMO. You're right that it doesn't make any sense for him to be intimidated if he had the guts to straight up ask you out in the first place. I think you were pushed to the back burner and now he has no other options and figured, why not?

 

I don't see how someone that attractive can be "intimidated". He doesn't seem introverted and he has a ton of friends, both guys and girls. Doesn't make any sense to me.

[Strawberry Fields]

To "hang out" is not acceptable. If he is serious, he will ask you out for dinner, on a real date, not hanging out crap.

 

 

Hahah, this is true. I think he's trying to be casual about it because he kinda gets the hint that I'm on the fence about him. Oh well.

[Lucky_One]

He may be casual because he knows that you will accept poor treatment. He was pretty casual about you before, and you still are wanting to go out with hiim, so why shouldn't he be casual now?

[carhill]

*cough* girlfriend *cough*

 

[loveslife]

I think he's playing a little game now. I think it was flattering for him that you remembered what happened a year ago and was still interested in spite of the fact that he never followed through.

 

However, it's hard to tell from what you've said. If you're curious, go out with him and see. But only if you can make sure you realize the entire time that YOU are the prize.

[BlueEyedGirl]

Go out with him. Once you start going out the dynimac might change. You can always give him the boot if he still is flaky. But go for it, life is too short for regrets.

 

P.S. his reason of being intimiated is BS but that doesn't matter.

[Lucky_One]

*cough* girlfriend *cough*

 

 

 

LOLOL!! (I like getting men's opinions on sitchs!)

[carhill]

Well, if he weren't so young I would've replaced girlfriend with wife

 

BTW, he's very good. Practiced. Yummy....

[Strawberry Fields]

*cough* girlfriend *cough*

 

 

 

Hahha, you know, that would explain his weird behavior. It's funny because he doesn't have anything filled out on his facebook status... so maybe he's being hush-hush about it.

[Strawberry Fields]

I think he's playing a little game now. I think it was flattering for him that you remembered what happened a year ago and was still interested in spite of the fact that he never followed through.

 

However, it's hard to tell from what you've said. If you're curious, go out with him and see. But only if you can make sure you realize the entire time that YOU are the prize.

 

I may go out with him, just to test it out. I remember while I was talking to him I kept thinking to myself that there was something odd about him. I guess I could find more about that oddness if we hung out. It's weird though, we have a few mutual friends and after we talked he started asking them about me. Usually that means they're pretty interested but I don't know.