hotgelato Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 How do I ask him? I want to know where this is going before I fall for him completely. Please tell me subtle way to ask him if he's seeing other people and let him know I want him to take initiative? Otherwise, I'll just be up front and scare him away!!
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 If he is really into you and something serious, you will not "scare him away." The only way to scare him is if he's really not that serious about what you have going on. How about the direct approach? Say, "I will only keep seeing you right now if this is going somewhere and you aren't seeing anyone else, because I'm not and I don't want to waste my time." Why can a woman not have standards in a relationship without "scaring" a man? Women are so concerned about pussy-footing around a man in fear of scaring him off. If he's worth anything, he won't be scared. If he runs, then he really wasn't relationship material to begin with and good thing you found out in the beginning.
colosseum Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 If he is really into you and something serious, you will not "scare him away." The only way to scare him is if he's really not that serious about what you have going on. How about the direct approach? Say, "I will only keep seeing you right now if this is going somewhere and you aren't seeing anyone else, because I'm not and I don't want to waste my time." Why can a woman not have standards in a relationship without "scaring" a man? Women are so concerned about pussy-footing around a man in fear of scaring him off. If he's worth anything, he won't be scared. If he runs, then he really wasn't relationship material to begin with and good thing you found out in the beginning. Guy's perspective: well-put by SoulSearch. That is all.
shinedown Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 Why can a woman not have standards in a relationship without "scaring" a man? Women are so concerned about pussy-footing around a man in fear of scaring him off. If he's worth anything, he won't be scared. If he runs, then he really wasn't relationship material to begin with and good thing you found out in the beginning. Very well put. Unless it comes down to the 'old-fashioned' thing again where the guy should be making all of the first moves and initiating everything. Speaking from a guys perspective I certainly wouldn't mind if a woman brought it up how you just put it. It's precise and to the point so that there's no beating around the bush.
goodbyebluesky82 Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 I whole heartedly agree. Sometimes guys need a push, but it is true that you will not scare them off if they are truly interested and you dont phrase this like you are irritated at him. This move takes guts though, on her part, because if he balks then that will tell you how he feels. If he seems relieved and excited you brought it up- then great.
Kamille Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 Ah so... The dinner went really well I see. while I agree a commitment-minded guy won't be scared off by mentions of exclusivity, I do wonder if you're not going a bit two fast hot gelato. Only a week ago, you were posting on here that you two hang out but there wasn't much physical contact. I would recommend you ask yourself if it is really time to start thinking about exclusivity. Wouldn't it be better to get to know him a bit more before?
Author hotgelato Posted May 4, 2009 Author Posted May 4, 2009 Kamille: you are keeping track of my dating! lol thanks for ur interest yes, it is the same boy. we've been seeing each other alot the last few weeks. I really like him alot and physical contact part has been improving! (btw, the dinner is tomorrow, but he wants to see me for a drink tonight) I guess I'm not good with relationships. I have trouble getting one or maintaining one haha. I will take it slow for now. I got my other priorities at the moment so i guess i can get away with that. I really don't know what I want because I will be going away in a few weeks (for summer vacation) and maybe thats why I wanna speed things up before I leave. BUT, for now, i'll wait
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