XxBacktoBlackXx Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 I have been having a lot of anger issues lately which I've been keeping inside. When my BF and I first got together and officially started dating, he was having inappropriate on-line contact with another chic. They had never met but before we even knew each other they were gonna meet up. Even after we started dating and officially were in a relationship, I later found out (months and months later) that they were still chatting, talking, etc on a regular basis. On the day that we made it officially, he sent her a message that said he was always thinking about her and said she was beautiful and more and more romantic things. Months later, when I eventually found this out, I felt so hurt. This happened from July until December...they continued to talk (not always romantic) and I continued to be clueless about their history (one another liking each other, him wanting to drive hours and hours away to see her, etc). Now it is May and I am still so angry about it. I am so resentful about it. I want to move on, but it makes me so, so mad. After I found out that they had initially been talking, I asked him why he had to be friends with her. He said just because someone has a past history of romantically talking to someone doesn't mean they still can't be friends. This was before I found out they had been talking romantically to each other, even on our day of making it official. It makes me so mad that they pretended they were "just friends" to my face and tried to claim they could still be friends. When I finally found out everything, he cut off all contact, blocked her on everything, erased her phone number, etc. I am still so resentful, though. How do I get past this? Should I tell him this?
Jaytb Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 I have been having a lot of anger issues lately which I've been keeping inside. When my BF and I first got together and officially started dating, he was having inappropriate on-line contact with another chic. They had never met but before we even knew each other they were gonna meet up. Even after we started dating and officially were in a relationship, I later found out (months and months later) that they were still chatting, talking, etc on a regular basis. On the day that we made it officially, he sent her a message that said he was always thinking about her and said she was beautiful and more and more romantic things. Months later, when I eventually found this out, I felt so hurt. This happened from July until December...they continued to talk (not always romantic) and I continued to be clueless about their history (one another liking each other, him wanting to drive hours and hours away to see her, etc). Now it is May and I am still so angry about it. I am so resentful about it. I want to move on, but it makes me so, so mad. After I found out that they had initially been talking, I asked him why he had to be friends with her. He said just because someone has a past history of romantically talking to someone doesn't mean they still can't be friends. This was before I found out they had been talking romantically to each other, even on our day of making it official. It makes me so mad that they pretended they were "just friends" to my face and tried to claim they could still be friends. When I finally found out everything, he cut off all contact, blocked her on everything, erased her phone number, etc. I am still so resentful, though. How do I get past this? Should I tell him this? I think what he did was inappropriate and isn't something easy to get past. I also don't think it will be the last time it happens, sorry to say. I would probably move on if I were you.
Author XxBacktoBlackXx Posted May 4, 2009 Author Posted May 4, 2009 I know all of this because we both have access to each other's Facebook. He told me when we first started seeing each other that I can look at it at any time. I told him that he could look at mine, too and my Facebook was automatically logged on to mine on his computer. I never looked at his because I didn't want to and had no need. He had looked at mine in the past and I really didn't...he told me I had left my messages up and he saw past messages between me and my ex. This was way before we had gotten together and was while my ex and I were together. I really didn't care. I have always been one that doesn't have anything to hide. Well, I had been getting a little suspicious of his friendship with this aforementioned chic because he mentioned her a little too much and when we went on a trip to see his sister, he mentioned how she wanted him to visit her while we were there but he didn't want to...she lives in a completely different city hours away from his sis but lives in the same state. They had never even met each other before. He told me that she kept talking as if he was going to visit and felt badly to say no. A couple weeks after that trip (this was probably in early January), I looked at his messages between she and him and found everything. That was the first time I ever found out about it as well as the first time I ever looked at anything of his.
Cherished Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 I think you should move on. A man should make you feel like you are the only one he wants.
SoulSearch_CO Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 A man that can carry on such a covert relationship with another woman while you two are brand new in YOUR relationship has major problems. Having dealt with such garbage in my ex-marriage...I would have said GOODBYE upon first happening upon such messages. He's cold to be able to do such a thing. Nothing is likely to change. Even if he DID delete everything. He didn't do it because he wanted to - he did it because YOU wanted him to.
TaraMaiden Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 I'm sorry, but I have looked at all your old threads. You have been having problems with this same man, and posted so many issues about him. he seems to be a complete wreck, yet you still come in and ask advice, even though you know you will never take it. You are just repeating the cycle over and over again. I think it will be an extraordinary novelty if you actually posted "hooray everyone, guess what? I have left my BF, he is now ex- and I am getting on with my life." The solutions for your problems are at the bottom of your legs. They are called feet, and you should put them to good use by turning around and just walk in the opposite direction. This will give you an immediate, final and effective solution to all your issues. _/l\_
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