burning 4 revenge Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 You don't even smoke the green stuff anymore. So I can see how you'd need to do this here.She does smoke the green stuff She smokes lots of it She smokes so much of it its turning her russian hair into dreadlocks
Author spookie Posted May 6, 2009 Author Posted May 6, 2009 That said, I have anupdate. During our weekly on Monday, he asked me to go to a private room with him to talk. I psyched myself up for the best and the worst on the way. Was I finally getting my much-anticipated transfer? Did I fcvk something up, and he wants to know why? We got to the room, shut the doors, and I looked expectedly at him. The sexual chemistry built. He sat on a random chair. "How was your weekend?" he asked me. Following suit, I sat down next to him. Mere inches away. Will we do the thigh-touching thing? I wondered. Is that why he brought me here? "About as good as any weekend two weeks before the exam," I told him. We made some small-talk. Then, he said, "The reason I want to start meeting here from now on, is that I've noticed all we do at our normal meetings is talk about what's going on, and I want to make sure I address your bigger career needs, as well. Is there anything you'd like to talk about?" The question caught me with surprise. "Am I allowed to mention the elephant?" I wanted to say. But I didn't. (Though next monday, I will.) So I answered, "Not really." And instead we had a conversation about work. The thing is, him trying even harder as a boss probably means I'm not getting a transfer. A lot of other things point to that, as well; like we have about 5 new people starting, and not one of them is tagged for our division. I'm crushedly disappointed, to be quite honest. But at least I get to see him, every day.
Land Shark Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 She does smoke the green stuff She smokes lots of it She smokes so much of it its turning her russian hair into dreadlocks No, she stopped. She said she was done with it.
burning 4 revenge Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 What's my reputation? That youre a bit of a c*nt
burning 4 revenge Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 That said, I have anupdate. During our weekly on Monday, he asked me to go to a private room with him to talk. I psyched myself up for the best and the worst on the way. Was I finally getting my much-anticipated transfer? Did I fcvk something up, and he wants to know why? We got to the room, shut the doors, and I looked expectedly at him. The sexual chemistry built. He sat on a random chair. "How was your weekend?" he asked me. Following suit, I sat down next to him. Mere inches away. Will we do the thigh-touching thing? I wondered. Is that why he brought me here? "About as good as any weekend two weeks before the exam," I told him. We made some small-talk. Then, he said, "The reason I want to start meeting here from now on, is that I've noticed all we do at our normal meetings is talk about what's going on, and I want to make sure I address your bigger career needs, as well. Is there anything you'd like to talk about?" The question caught me with surprise. "Am I allowed to mention the elephant?" I wanted to say. But I didn't. (Though next monday, I will.) So I answered, "Not really." And instead we had a conversation about work. The thing is, him trying even harder as a boss probably means I'm not getting a transfer. A lot of other things point to that, as well; like we have about 5 new people starting, and not one of them is tagged for our division. I'm crushedly disappointed, to be quite honest. But at least I get to see him, every day. Spookie Im never going to read this novel Do you have a cliffnotes version
Land Shark Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 ...and I want to make sure I address your bigger career needs, as well." Uh, you didn't mention your bigger career needs? The big one? The need you have? I think he made it clear that you were welcome to bring it up.
Author spookie Posted May 6, 2009 Author Posted May 6, 2009 I know you guys all think he's completely non-interested. But. More than with any other guy I have ever dated, been pursued by, etc. I get "I like you" vibes from Jack.
You'reasian Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 She does smoke the green stuff She smokes lots of it She smokes so much of it its turning her russian hair into dreadlocks Can Russian women do dread-locks?
Citizen Erased Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 That said, I have anupdate. During our weekly on Monday, he asked me to go to a private room with him to talk. I psyched myself up for the best and the worst on the way. Was I finally getting my much-anticipated transfer? Did I fcvk something up, and he wants to know why? We got to the room, shut the doors, and I looked expectedly at him. The sexual chemistry built. He sat on a random chair. "How was your weekend?" he asked me. Following suit, I sat down next to him. Mere inches away. Will we do the thigh-touching thing? I wondered. Is that why he brought me here? "About as good as any weekend two weeks before the exam," I told him. We made some small-talk. Then, he said, "The reason I want to start meeting here from now on, is that I've noticed all we do at our normal meetings is talk about what's going on, and I want to make sure I address your bigger career needs, as well. Is there anything you'd like to talk about?" The question caught me with surprise. "Am I allowed to mention the elephant?" I wanted to say. But I didn't. (Though next monday, I will.) So I answered, "Not really." And instead we had a conversation about work. The thing is, him trying even harder as a boss probably means I'm not getting a transfer. A lot of other things point to that, as well; like we have about 5 new people starting, and not one of them is tagged for our division. I'm crushedly disappointed, to be quite honest. But at least I get to see him, every day. I need to have sex. Now. That youre a bit of a c*nt burning 4 revenge. You need to be smacked.
Author spookie Posted May 6, 2009 Author Posted May 6, 2009 Uh, you didn't mention your bigger career needs? The big one? The need you have? I think he made it clear that you were welcome to bring it up. You think so? I couldn't really read him, and I didn't want to make it uncomfortable.
Author spookie Posted May 6, 2009 Author Posted May 6, 2009 Can Russian women do dread-locks? I bet I can. In fact I bet it'd be easy.
Land Shark Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 You think so? I couldn't really read him, and I didn't want to make it uncomfortable. No! I don't think so. You silly. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were smoking again.
Author spookie Posted May 6, 2009 Author Posted May 6, 2009 No! I don't think so. You silly. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were smoking again. Are you being sarcastic or attempting to set me up for disaster?
Land Shark Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 I think you need to take all this a bit more lightly. You are quite serious.
Author spookie Posted May 6, 2009 Author Posted May 6, 2009 Career: He's barely made it to supervisory level in 7 years. Not that it matters, but in his defense, in our profession (at least at our company) you don't really get to supervise until you're nearly an FSA, which takes some time to achieve.
burning 4 revenge Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 I know you told him you liked him or something but did you ever just ask him out?
burning 4 revenge Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 Not that it matters, but in his defense, in our profession (at least at our company) you don't really get to supervise until you're nearly an FSA, which takes some time to achieve. she doesnt even know what shes talking about, just ignore that bs
shadowplay Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 Spookie, if you're feeling it that strongly I bet there is something there, whether it's strong enough for him to ever make a move or not. I keep using Mr. H as an analogy because I feel like my obsession with him was similar to what you and BEG are now experiencing. He was also my boss, and I also had this complete certainty that he was "the one," a feeling I've never experienced before or since. There was just something about him that felt completely right, that I couldn't explain to anybody else because it was more than the sum of his parts. He may have seemed unimpressive to others. That part was completely in my head. I remember when he was my boss, I sensed this insane, electric chemistry between us. Later, when he graduated, I always wondered if it had just been in my head. The fact that six years later he thought of me and asked me out on a semi-date makes me think it probably wasn't all in my head, that I had made an impression to him. The chemistry just wasn't there anymore. In my experience your gut is usually right. If you feel really confident that he likes you he probably does, just not enough to put his job at stake. It's also possible that he's attracted to you but sees you as too young to be gf material (you said he's picky). So, no, I don't believe it's all in your head, but I also have a feeling it won't go anywhere based on how life usually plays out.
Author spookie Posted May 6, 2009 Author Posted May 6, 2009 You are a partier; he is not. I'm a partier? What ever gave you that idea? The fact that I spend all my weekends learning financial economics? You have very weird sleep patterns; he likely does not (as most people go home at the end of the work day, eat dinner and go to bed). WTH do you think I do? He seems to have a very strong work ethic. You spend an amazing amount of time at work, but you also say that you f&ck off at work and don't do much, and I think that some of your dedication to your desk is only to impress him - not because you want to excel at your job. This is just BS. I love my job, and I don't fcvk around. You have had a varied work experience that may not appeal to every man for a partner; you are very open about being a stripper and that's cool, but not every man is going to like it or be accepting of it. So because I have a past I'm not worthy of a good man's love? You say that you have two different personalities depending on whether or not you are stoned (and for a while, you were stoned every time you went to work); that can lead people to think that you aren't quite right in the head. Yah... but you know. I'm attempting to quit. It's the last of my vices, and I really am trying to be a better person; or rather, a person better cut out to be a soccer mom (which is all I've ever really wanted out of life.) From LS posts, you don't seem like a "have people in for cheeseburgers on Friday night"; you sound more like having a few folks in to get high, dress up and then go to the midnight showing of Rocky Horror. Like I said, I only knew you from your posts, and I only know Jack from your posts. He sounds like a white bread, All American, used to play high school football, 2.5 babies and a cat kind of guy. You sound like one of the girls in band who was always in the parking lot getting high or drinking beer at lunch, creative, spontaneous, too intelligent for your classes, so you created your own escapism to get away from the mundane world. You eschew mundane; he thrives in it. That doesn't make a very compatible match for the long term; someone simply has to change too much and is unhappy, or the imcompatibilities lead one person to looking for a mate who understands him/her. Like I said - not bad characteriistics, but not necessarily the ones that make him look at you and say "Wow Spookie is great for me!" I never had a chance to be mundane. I've been the girl in the parking lot for many years, but it wasn't because I didn't want to be inside. Being good and normal. I thought that was what adulthood was supposed to be all about. YOUR own choices. Regardless of the past, or where you came from, getting to be the person you've always wanted to be. I'm attracted to Jack largely because of the all-american-ness. But more importantly, because that DESPITE of it, he isn't THAT kind of guy. (And I don't even know what "that" means. Exclusionary, maybe? Or incapable of relating to anyone different?) But I don't buy into the belief that *I* have nothing to offer. Was it you who said it took more than sexual prowess? WTF? I'm smart and probably pretty fun to be around. So stop putting me down. I'm definitely not not-good-enough for any man.
Author spookie Posted May 6, 2009 Author Posted May 6, 2009 I know you told him you liked him or something but did you ever just ask him out? I'm pretty sure since he hasn't done it himself, he'd say no.
burning 4 revenge Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 Spookie, if you're feeling it that strongly I bet there is something there, whether it's strong enough for him to ever make a move or not. I keep using Mr. H as an analogy because I feel like my obsession with him was similar to what you and BEG are now experiencing. He was also my boss, and I also had this complete certainty that he was "the one," a feeling I've never experienced before or since. There was just something about him that felt completely right, that I couldn't explain to anybody else because it was more than the sum of his parts. He may have seemed unimpressive to others. That part was completely in my head. I remember when he was my boss, I sensed this insane, electric chemistry between us. Later, when he graduated, I always wondered if it had just been in my head. The fact that six years later he thought of me and asked me out on a semi-date makes me think it probably wasn't all in my head, that I had made an impression to him. The chemistry just wasn't there anymore. In my experience your gut is usually right. If you feel really confident that he likes you he probably does, just not enough to put his job at stake. It's also possible that he's attracted to you but sees you as too young to be gf material (you said he's picky). So, no, I don't believe it's all in your head, but I also have a feeling it won't go anywhere based on how life usually plays out. Who is Mr H? Mr Hooper?
Author spookie Posted May 6, 2009 Author Posted May 6, 2009 Spookie, if you're feeling it that strongly I bet there is something there, whether it's strong enough for him to ever make a move or not. I keep using Mr. H as an analogy because I feel like my obsession with him was similar to what you and BEG are now experiencing. He was also my boss, and I also had this complete certainty that he was "the one," a feeling I've never experienced before or since. There was just something about him that felt completely right, that I couldn't explain to anybody else because it was more than the sum of his parts. He may have seemed unimpressive to others. That part was completely in my head. I remember when he was my boss, I sensed this insane, electric chemistry between us. Later, when he graduated, I always wondered if it had just been in my head. The fact that six years later he thought of me and asked me out on a semi-date makes me think it probably wasn't all in my head, that I had made an impression to him. The chemistry just wasn't there anymore. In my experience your gut is usually right. If you feel really confident that he likes you he probably does, just not enough to put his job at stake. It's also possible that he's attracted to you but sees you as too young to be gf material (you said he's picky). So, no, I don't believe it's all in your head, but I also have a feeling it won't go anywhere based on how life usually plays out. I really don't think it's all in my head. But unfortunately, as long as I work for him, it's not going to go anywhere. And probably even if I don't.
Cherished Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 Do you think it might be that there is no reason he should NOT be attracted to you, and the fact that he is not reciprocating and making a move is driving you crazy and making you idealize him? Kind of like the wanting what you can't have?
Author spookie Posted May 6, 2009 Author Posted May 6, 2009 Do you think it might be that there is no reason he should NOT be attracted to you, and the fact that he is not reciprocating and making a move is driving you crazy and making you idealize him? Kind of like the wanting what you can't have? The REASON I think there's no reason he shouldn't be attracted to me, is because I can FEEL that he IS. I don't think every guy I meet is attracted to me. But I can usually tell if he is. I honestly don't think I am idealizing him.
Isolde Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 This whole "the one" thinking is what makes you feel so powerless. Theoretically, in a perfect world, Jack might be the one. Who knows, maybe in five years you guys would be a perfect match. But right here, right now, you aren't, and that's ALL that matters practically. The moment you stop thinking of him as the one, the more you will be empowered to make the best decisions for you. And one day, you will laugh at this. One of these days, you'll meet someone who you will think is the one and he will be. It's not an "if you're wrong once, you're wrong forever" proposition, I promise you that, though I often fear myself that it is.
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