carhill Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 ... and then divorce. Kidding. Kidding. Actually, in my case, emotionally, you're exactly right Being able to admit that and walk the path to healing is a big step. Now to watch out for those pesky potholes
burning 4 revenge Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 This is Jack. He's 5'8; fit with very broad shoulders (and a cute butt:love:). He has an "olive" complexion, shaved head, straight nose with freckles on it, full lips, and warm brown eyes with specks of gold that catch light. I think he's incredibly, heart-breakingly cute. Objectively, he's got to be considered attractive. There's a boyish quality to his smile, a bounce in his walk, and he looks young, strong, and healthy. He's friendly but not overwhelming, and smart but not snobby or cocky. He sees the best in everyone, expects highly of himself, but is very forgiving. He's charismatic and confident, because he trusts his reason, and knows he's the most careful person around. What I like most about him is his un-self-centeredness. He's genuinely altruistic; willing, as my stoned brother put it, to die for the waterhole. He cares about people, but not about what they think about him. He knows doing the right thing is the most important. That's why I trust him. He helps me keep my conscience clean. That's why he's so perfect for me. He makes me be a better person.He sounds perfectly charming Spook and not mediocre in any way I think he's more than worthy of your infatuation
wuggle Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 He sounds perfectly charming Spook and not mediocre in any way Agree I think he's more than worthy of your infatuation Disagree - Come on Spookie, thought you were getting over this, move on....
Trialbyfire Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 Unbelievable, how people will enable unhealthy obsessions, due to personal insecurities. Not only that, but the easiest way for spookie to move on from her unhealthy obsession, is to knock him down off the fantasy altar, she's debasing herself before.
Cherished Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 WWIU will be interested to learn that I'm sure. Hey if the shoe fits.....
burning 4 revenge Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 5'8, thinning hair, lives in Illinois....these all seem like pretty cool traits to me, I don't know what the problem is
Trialbyfire Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 5'8, thinning hair, lives in Illinois....these all seem like pretty cool traits to me, I don't know what the problem isWhy don't you grow up and realize this isn't all about you? How selfish and self-centered can you get? This is about spookie being obsessed and creating a fantasy relationship with an unrequited man. If you can't get your head out of your arse and try to help spookie, then just stay out of this thread.
Admiral Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 Is it really possible that all the chemistry I feel is ALL INSIDE MY HEAD? He may just be shy.
burning 4 revenge Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 Why don't you grow up and realize this isn't all about you? How selfish and self-centered can you get? This is about spookie being obsessed and creating a fantasy relationship with an unrequited man. If you can't get your head out of your arse and try to help spookie, then just stay out of this thread. An unrequited man? WTF is that
shadowplay Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 From what you've told us, Jack isn't half as interesting a person as you are. It seems like he goes to work and then comes home and watches tv. He probably likes to watch football on Monday nights with his friends. From an outsider's perspective, your crush seems so out of proportion with who Jack really is and it's frustrating for us to see. Cherry Blossom once had a great tip. Keep telling yourself how mundane and boring your crush is--not only does he fart in bed really bad, but also you just wouldn't be able to have a soulful conversation w/ him over fine coffee or tea. It works because 90% of the time, they really aren't very interesting people except in your head. I agree. I mean, he seems nice and smart enough, but based on what you've told me he's just a regular guy. It doesn't seem like he possesses some magical quality that you can't find elsewhere. Kick him off the pedestal!
shadowplay Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 And what exactly makes you come to this conclusion? That he's not interesting? Or that a guy who likes to watch MNF is boring??? A little quick on the trigger there. Isolde isn't saying he's boring. She's saying that in all likelihood Jack doesn't live up to the fantasy Spookie has woven, which is usually the case when it comes to unrequited crushes.
shadowplay Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 I was expecting SP to be backing you up, even. Don't bring me into this. *rolls eyes* And I expected you to pounce on and misinterpret her comment before I even saw your response.
Trialbyfire Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 Short, bald, underachiever (7 years to get to barely a supervisory level of one employee, which is you, unless that's changed) who would rather throw you under the bus, to save his own ass, rather than take a chance with you. Add in the couch potato part and what you have isn't a high demand guy. Your standards are pretty low, spookie, if this is the kind of guy you're raising to a pedestal.
Land Shark Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 An unrequited man? WTF is that He's not requited. Does that clear it up at all?
You'reasian Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 Short, bald, underachiever (7 years to get to barely a supervisory level of one employee, which is you, unless that's changed) who would rather throw you under the bus, to save his own ass, rather than take a chance with you. Add in the couch potato part and what you have isn't a high demand guy. Your standards are pretty low, spookie, if this is the kind of guy you're raising to a pedestal. Sounds like a helluva guy. It took me 7 years to learn how to say 'hi' in Spanish, so this guy must be talented. Men's hair does thin - has to do with testosterone release - perhaps he's an animal? Couch potato could have potential in terms of activities he hasn't discovered. Better to be a couch potato than a guy like myself who takes forever to walk down to the mailbox to retrtieve the mail?
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 From what you've told us, Jack isn't half as interesting a person as you are. It seems like he goes to work and then comes home and watches tv. He probably likes to watch football on Monday nights with his friends. From an outsider's perspective, your crush seems so out of proportion with who Jack really is and it's frustrating for us to see. Cherry Blossom once had a great tip. Keep telling yourself how mundane and boring your crush is--not only does he fart in bed really bad, but also you just wouldn't be able to have a soulful conversation w/ him over fine coffee or tea. It works because 90% of the time, they really aren't very interesting people except in your head. Thanks, Isolde I stand by my original advice. Knock that guy off his pedestal. You CAN retrain your thoughts, but there has to be a strong motivation to do so. Fantasizing about Jack (nice pseudonym, Spook) feels good, and she will continue to do it until someone else grabs her attention. Then she will start fantasizing about that guy, and Jack will not be so hot anymore. The fact is that he probably does feel chemistry with her. I don't doubt it at all. But having chemistry and wanting a relationship are two totally different things. I have amazing chemistry with a friend's boyfriend, but there is no way on God's green earth that I would ever go out with him, or him, me. Listen to Trial, Spookie. The guy threw you under the bus to save his arse. I mean, the guy went to HR for Chrissakes. He jeopardized your career to save his own. Get it?
bean1 Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 Hmm... my first and only post in the Spookie saga (which I have read). If this guy ever read this board, he'd be rightfully scared of you. Get a psych evaluation, seriously. It is disturbing. People need to stop encouraging this which is really creepy and you'd all be frightened if someone was obsessed with you and writing about you on the internet like this.
BlueEyedGirl Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 If someone was writing about me like this, I woul be seriously flattered
Trialbyfire Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 And if someone were writing about an unrequited, obsessive crush on me, for months on end, talking about an accidental touch of our thighs at a perfectly innocent meeting, I would be freaked out.
shadowplay Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 If someone was writing about me like this, I woul be seriously flattered Ditto.
Land Shark Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 I have copied every post on this subject into a document. I did replaced every "Jack" with a "Land Shark". It's not so bad. Didn't freak me out a bit.
BlueEyedGirl Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 Spookie doesn't exibit any stalking behaviour. All she does is fantasize about this guy. I don't see how she affects his life in a negative way at all. For all we know he enjoys her crush. IF she isn't taking any crazy actions towards him, I don't see why she should be called crazy. Obviously she still has a good level of self control - crazy people don't.
burning 4 revenge Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 Ditto. I have been writing about you like this
Citizen Erased Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 I have copied every post on this subject into a document. I did replaced every "Jack" with a "Land Shark". It's not so bad. Didn't freak me out a bit. You should read my diary then...
CandyGirlXO Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 If someone was writing about me like this, I woul be seriously flattered I agree here 100% What is so interesting about Spookie's posts is that I can relate so much to them. I have had a crush on my co-worker for over 2 years, and although I never wrote about it much on LS, I still had the same thoughts as Spookie. Now we are together! But he isn't technically my boss, so its not as bad. But we are keeping it hush hush at work for other reasons. So I can relate. What is funny is, I too put him up on a pedestal, and now that we are together things about him surprise me. Its not exactly what I expected but I am still happy. Going on almost 5 months now.... As far as Jack goes, I know exactly how you feel, and I know it is hard. It was for me, before we became a couple. I thought about leaving my job, but with the economy the way it is, that wasn't possible. I would just take my mind off of him as much as possible. He started paying more attention to me the more I tried to not think about him. I am sorry you feel this way. I know it sucks, when you think someone is perfect for you, but they don't feel the same way. Thats how I was too, and now that we are together, I am constantly thinking he is too good for me, why does he like me, what do I have to offer, etc... etc... And it is even harder to realize that if it all goes down hill, I still have to see him 5/days a week, 40 hours. Good luck to you Spookie, really good luck with trying to move on. That is what you need to do. I could see you watching episodes of The Office wishing he was Jim and you were Pam. I did that also. I know how hard it is. But like Isolode was saying I am sure he isn't the person you think he is exactly. You know him from work only, and you have no idea how he is in his personal life. Thats been kind of a shocker to me. Just remember that, tell yourself that he is NOT what you think he is. And if it were "meant to be" then it would happen. You will find someone, I truly believe that.
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