Lucky_One Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 LOLOL! Ok I am off to bed. Some of my personalities have to work tomorrow. Night, Lucy.
Trialbyfire Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 I don't think that's funny. I think that just means that you hit the alert button more than they do since it's usually you who they are fighting with.Actually, that would be inaccurate. It appears they're perfectly capable of getting themselves banned without my help.
carhill Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 Spook, do you have control of those thoughts and feelings? IOW, can you feel that chemistry and connection on command, when you want to, or does it seem to be outside of your control? Also, are the physical manifestations of the feelings variable or consistent?
Trialbyfire Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 Yeah, I am actually a player-piano that trained itself to type. You might as well be, in that porn thread. Your arguments get invalidated so why not type by rote?
BlueEyedGirl Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 I have always wondered how people like TBF claim to have full lives, work 60 hours weeks etc and YET make on average 34 posts a day? That probably equates to few hours on LS every single day. Something does not add up there. People with full lives do not have this much time on their hands.
Trialbyfire Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 I have always wondered how people like TBF claim to have full lives, work 60 hours weeks etc and YET make on average 34 posts a day? That probably equates to few hours on LS every single day. Something does not add up there. People with full lives do not have this much time on their hands.How quickly do you read and post? Do you focus everything onto LS, when you're online?
burning 4 revenge Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 I have always wondered how people like TBF claim to have full lives, work 60 hours weeks etc and YET make on average 34 posts a day? That probably equates to few hours on LS every single day. Something does not add up there. People with full lives do not have this much time on their hands. I watch TV a lot and post with the computer literally in my lap I dont claim to have a very full life though
carhill Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 The thing is Carhill that for as long as she continues to work with this person she will continue to feed into her thoughts of infatuation. While the infatuation started as him reciprocating on some level at this point I think it is mostly her doing in terms of perpetuating those feelings. If she can understand the psychology of the dynamic on an intellectual level, she can think her way out of the situation and use that same knowledge in the future to better understand those "connections" when they occur. Use it as a learning experience. I'm in no way advocating any specific R pursuits here, merely understanding the psychology of this specific infatuation/attraction.
Author spookie Posted May 4, 2009 Author Posted May 4, 2009 This is Jack. He's 5'8; fit with very broad shoulders (and a cute butt:love:). He has an "olive" complexion, shaved head, straight nose with freckles on it, full lips, and warm brown eyes with specks of gold that catch light. I think he's incredibly, heart-breakingly cute. Objectively, he's got to be considered attractive. There's a boyish quality to his smile, a bounce in his walk, and he looks young, strong, and healthy. He's friendly but not overwhelming, and smart but not snobby or cocky. He sees the best in everyone, expects highly of himself, but is very forgiving. He's charismatic and confident, because he trusts his reason, and knows he's the most careful person around. What I like most about him is his un-self-centeredness. He's genuinely altruistic; willing, as my stoned brother put it, to die for the waterhole. He cares about people, but not about what they think about him. He knows doing the right thing is the most important. That's why I trust him. He helps me keep my conscience clean. That's why he's so perfect for me. He makes me be a better person.
Author spookie Posted May 4, 2009 Author Posted May 4, 2009 Before anyone else can jump on it, I'd like to reiterate that the above is not some weird boss thing. I'm responding to these qualities in him as a man; not in him as someone i report to, and therefore am trying to show my best side to. I've had other bosses before, and they didn't make me give a fcvk about being a better person. (Or turn me on like he does, either.)
Author spookie Posted May 4, 2009 Author Posted May 4, 2009 I think that the chemistry you feel could all be in your head, yes. And I definitely don't think he sounds shy, or too shy to make a move on you if he wanted to. He sounds dynamic and well-spoken. You just might be a bit young and, um, flighty for him for a romantic partner. When people start getting a bit older, they tend to start looking for romantic partners that they think would compliment them for a forever relationship. And you just may not be what he would look for. Chemistry is fantastic, but it takes so much more than just chemistry to make a secure, healthy and loving relationship. That doesn't mean you have bad characteristics, but just ones that are different from what he is looking for. This has kind of been rubbing me the wrong way. What non-bad characteristics of mine are you referring to that you think might be different from what he's looking for in a "forever" partner? What makes you say I am flighty?
Author spookie Posted May 4, 2009 Author Posted May 4, 2009 From what you've told us, Jack isn't half as interesting a person as you are. It seems like he goes to work and then comes home and watches tv. He probably likes to watch football on Monday nights with his friends. From an outsider's perspective, your crush seems so out of proportion with who Jack really is and it's frustrating for us to see. Cherry Blossom once had a great tip. Keep telling yourself how mundane and boring your crush is--not only does he fart in bed really bad, but also you just wouldn't be able to have a soulful conversation w/ him over fine coffee or tea. It works because 90% of the time, they really aren't very interesting people except in your head. Thanks, Isolde. Maybe that would have worked if there was anything I could think of that didn't turn me on about him.
Author spookie Posted May 4, 2009 Author Posted May 4, 2009 Today is going to be a terrible day. I've been here (at the office) since 4 AM, after an all-nighter, once again having deluded myself into thinking coming in that early was a good idea. I am so tired, I could barely keep my eyes open. It sucks being stupid.
BlueEyedGirl Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 I never lack sleep these days. I just take a sleeping tablet and then if I wake up I take another one an so on..... I have found some stupid 50 year old doctor that flirts with me and prescribes me whatever I want. Dunno what I would do without them. Sleeping pills are the best... I have work presentation soon an I fVxking hate public speaking so I am thinking of taking one before the event to make me feel chilled
Lucky_One Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 This has kind of been rubbing me the wrong way. What non-bad characteristics of mine are you referring to that you think might be different from what he's looking for in a "forever" partner? What makes you say I am flighty? You are a partier; he is not. You have very weird sleep patterns; he likely does not (as most people go home at the end of the work day, eat dinner and go to bed). He seems to have a very strong work ethic. You spend an amazing amount of time at work, but you also say that you f&ck off at work and don't do much, and I think that some of your dedication to your desk is only to impress him - not because you want to excel at your job. You have had a varied work experience that may not appeal to every man for a partner; you are very open about being a stripper and that's cool, but not every man is going to like it or be accepting of it. You say that you have two different personalities depending on whether or not you are stoned (and for a while, you were stoned every time you went to work); that can lead people to think that you aren't quite right in the head. From LS posts, you don't seem like a "have people in for cheeseburgers on Friday night"; you sound more like having a few folks in to get high, dress up and then go to the midnight showing of Rocky Horror. Like I said, I only knew you from your posts, and I only know Jack from your posts. He sounds like a white bread, All American, used to play high school football, 2.5 babies and a cat kind of guy. You sound like one of the girls in band who was always in the parking lot getting high or drinking beer at lunch, creative, spontaneous, too intelligent for your classes, so you created your own escapism to get away from the mundane world. You eschew mundane; he thrives in it. That doesn't make a very compatible match for the long term; someone simply has to change too much and is unhappy, or the imcompatibilities lead one person to looking for a mate who understands him/her. Like I said - not bad characteriistics, but not necessarily the ones that make him look at you and say "Wow Spookie is great for me!"
Lucky_One Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 Opposites attract Or, as Andy Warhol said, the most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.
Chocolat Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 That's why he's so perfect for me. He makes me be a better person. And why are you perfect for him? In what way will you make him a better person? I don't say that glibly. Fact is, if Jack is as emotionally mature as you say he is, he will want a partner who can offer him the same enrichment. Intellectual and sexual prowess are not enough.
Trialbyfire Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=1872988&postcount=4 Either Jack's shorter than 5'8" or you're taller than 5'8". If I recall, you had previously stated you were 5'8". Paint the picture clearly, spookie. He doesn't always do the right thing. He does the right thing for himself such as telling one of the bosses about your crush. This is called ass-covering, which is smart for his career but also revealed his fear of losing his job. If he were that into you, you'd be his right now. Also, as someone who's mediocre or less, he's not that driven or that great. You've created a fictitious man and put him on a pedestal.
imani Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 While it's all very well to be able to respect and admire someone without putting them on a pedestal, sometimes in order to get over an obsession, you need to go the other way around and try to convince yourself they're boring or else not what you're looking for. Maybe that's delusion, but sometimes it's necessary to get over that bump. I'm not advocating degrading Jack in a serious manner, guys. Please lighten up. I completely agree and I understand your original post. I remember when the advice was originally suggested to Spookie in another thread by way of saying she should just make the person not important to you. Take them off of the pedistal, so to speak. It works for most people. But with people like Spookie and BEG, I think its harder to accomplish because they see their crushes everyday. Which causes them to "keep the dream alive" that their crushes will some day fall for them. Its an ego boost for the crushee, having that effect on someone. And its mental torture on the crusher because they can't seem to control their desire or hope of someday being romantically involved. Until some one decides to break the cycle.
imani Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 I picture Charlie Sheen. Also I think TBF is right, if he wanted her he would have taken her. Or transferred her so he can take her ethically. Jay, I'm not having a go at you, but that bolded part made me think of a Joan Collins novel for some reason.
imani Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 Opposites attract ... and then divorce. Kidding. Kidding.
imani Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 Isn't that her sister, Jackie? Yeah, that one. I get them confused.
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