Art_Critic Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 I never said you ruined your reputation.. I said you altered it.. not in a good way, and I think that is true. Honesty and directness aren't always the best things to have when it concerns wanting to bang your boss or anything like that not work related. Honesty and directness are however good traits to have when in the workplace.. but about things relating to work... and a side note about your honesty and directness.. have you told your coworkers and bosses about everything interesting in your life ? or just the things you wanted them to know ?
Citizen Erased Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 If this is what adulthood was all about, it blows. I always thought it was about the opposite. Getting exactly what you wanted. I really hope you are kidding.
Author spookie Posted May 6, 2009 Author Posted May 6, 2009 I don't doubt you hear voices but something tells me they're not ours. They're definitely yours. YOURS is surprisingly Southern.
Jake Barnes Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 They're definitely yours. YOURS is surprisingly Southern. Do you have a Southern accent Spook
Author spookie Posted May 6, 2009 Author Posted May 6, 2009 I never said you ruined your reputation.. I said you altered it.. not in a good way, and I think that is true. Honesty and directness aren't always the best things to have when it concerns wanting to bang your boss or anything like that not work related. Honesty and directness are however good traits to have when in the workplace.. but about things relating to work... and a side note about your honesty and directness.. have you told your coworkers and bosses about everything interesting in your life ? or just the things you wanted them to know ? Why? Am I supposed to have told them about everything? Or are you trying to say I should have left the wanting to bang my boss part out? Blah. How was I supposed to get a transfer if I didn't tell anyone I wanted one? Ughghghghghghghghghghghg. I'm so frustrated it's unbelievable.
Author spookie Posted May 6, 2009 Author Posted May 6, 2009 Do you have a Southern accent Spook No. (need more chars)
Jake Barnes Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 No. (need more chars) why dont you consider going to medical school
Touche Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 If this is what adulthood was all about, it blows. Well it's not what it's ALL about but yeah, it can blow. It's up to you to make it not suck most of the time. I always thought it was about the opposite. Getting exactly what you wanted. Well, there you go then. There's your problem because nope, you'll be doing well to get what you want even HALF the time. Might as well learn to accept that now. You might end up being a lot happier. So much of our misery is caused, not by others, but by ourselves. You can decide to accept the easy boss/employee relationship you have with him or...not. It's totally up to you. You act like you have zero control over any of this...not the case.
Author spookie Posted May 6, 2009 Author Posted May 6, 2009 why dont you consider going to medical school My college GPA was too low.
Author spookie Posted May 6, 2009 Author Posted May 6, 2009 Well, there you go then. There's your problem because nope, you'll be doing well to get what you want even HALF the time. Might as well learn to accept that now. You might end up being a lot happier. So much of our misery is caused, not by others, but by ourselves. You can decide to accept the easy boss/employee relationship you have with him or...not. It's totally up to you. You act like you have zero control over any of this...not the case. While I suspect you may be right, I can't fathom how one can just accept things. Granted, I'm pretty lucky. My situation is pretty great. I have a job that I love that makes my life comfortable, and a boss who gets an easy A+. What I'm missing is a soulmate boyfriend, but I guess we don't always get what we want.
Touche Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 They're definitely yours. YOURS is surprisingly Southern. Hahah. Very funny. And you probably already knew everything I was going to say so I wasted my breath. Oh and I don't sound Southern...ignore Jake. He's drunk.
Author spookie Posted May 6, 2009 Author Posted May 6, 2009 The part that makes it frustrating, is that every day feels like foreplay. e I float through each day. A little bit of work, a little of being near him. Each time I leave his cube after talking with him, I know I have the widest, more unconrollably happy smile stretched out on my face. I'm shocked no one's mentioned it yet.
Touche Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 While I suspect you may be right, I can't fathom how one can just accept things. Granted, I'm pretty lucky. My situation is pretty great. I have a job that I love that makes my life comfortable, and a boss who gets an easy A+. What I'm missing is a soulmate boyfriend, but I guess we don't always get what we want. Spook, the part in bold is what you should be concentrating on now. You're VERY lucky. Don't blow it. You're not really self-destructive are you? As for the rest, no. We may not always get what we want WHEN we want it but surprisingly most of us, who don't give up and keep a positive and hopeful attitude about things, (and don't self-destruct) do end up getting what we want.
Author spookie Posted May 6, 2009 Author Posted May 6, 2009 Spook, the part in bold is what you should be concentrating on now. You're VERY lucky. Don't blow it. You're not really self-destructive are you? As for the rest, no. We may not always get what we want WHEN we want it but surprisingly most of us, who don't give up and keep a positive and hopeful attitude about things, (and don't self-destruct) do end up getting what we want. That's a good way to look at it. I'll try that. I'm not going to do anything self-destructive. Sooo over that phase.
Citizen Erased Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 The part that makes it frustrating, is that every day feels like foreplay. e I float through each day. A little bit of work, a little of being near him. Each time I leave his cube after talking with him, I know I have the widest, more unconrollably happy smile stretched out on my face. I'm shocked no one's mentioned it yet. I get like that with someone too. They may not have mentioned it to you but they probably have to each other. What an exciting distraction for everyone else.
Lovelybird Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 you need some more patience, spooky, love has patience and can wait, infatuation doesn't. If it is infatuation, you will get over it very soon. I really believe if he has interests in you, he will act. no much confusion about it. when time is right, it will happen naturally. If it is not meant to be, then not during your waiting and watching, how about do something constructive, quit drugs completely? have more control about self?
Touche Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 That's a good way to look at it. I'll try that. I'm not going to do anything self-destructive. Sooo over that phase. Good, I'm glad to hear it Spook. You'll be fine. Good things don't always come easily or quickly in life unfortunately. Hang in there!
Touche Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 you need some more patience, spooky, love has patience and can wait, infatuation doesn't. If it is infatuation, you will get over it very soon. I really believe if he has interests in you, he will act. no much confusion about it. when time is right, it will happen naturally. If it is not meant to be, then not during your waiting and watching, how about do something constructive, quit drugs completely? have more control about self? Good post Lovely. I agree..especially the part in bold.
Cherished Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 My best advice would be to be COMPLETELY "work only" personality...don't act giddy around him, no jokes, only talk to him when necessary for work....in other words, be all business. After a while it will start driving him crazy, he might think you have a boyfriend and wonder why the "all business" Spookie...
BlueEyedGirl Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 You know what, before I came to this coffeeshop to steal this internet to hang out here all night, a thought struck me: it' will be pointless. All I accomplish through posting is increase the chance Jack stumbles onto my online persona tonight. Admittedly, I probably don't want that to happen. So, I think maybe I'm retiring. From starting threads. Yes... that's the new rule. If I ever get a date with Jack, I'll let y'all know. But until then... I really love you all... And thank you so much for the advice. I think I hear your voices inside my head, anyway. I pretty much always know what everyone's going to say. No need to have you actually type it. You now, this is a real possibility. With my own story, if my boss was to stumble across my threads he would know 100% that it's me. And he would think that I am crazy and read all about my sleeping pill addiction, being desparate about turning 30 etc. The thought terrifies me. Especially because once I went on LS just after work day was over. He walked behind my desk and SAW LS. I truly hope that he didn't even really register what site it is, and I wasn't logged on so he doesn't know my user name. But STILL. Yeah, with every single new post and even more so a new thread we are closer to being discovered. If it wasn't for that I would post many more details. I wish there was an option on LS for deleting threads after we have gotten advice we need.. And with posting our pictures we were REALLY playing with fire of someone we work with recognizing us..
amaysngrace Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 spookie what are the chances of you liking Jack because it gives you a reason for going into a boring workplace each day? Could it be that you use him as something to look forward to? And it helps you keep your job because otherwise you'd be so bored you'd have left almost as soon as you started it?
Trialbyfire Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 So, my question is, directed in particular at the more experienced corporate types (I'd really appreciate your input, TBF...) can I talk about the elephant, the next time he takes me aside to discuss my career (scheduled for next monday)? Can I say something like, my biggest concern remains the fact that I see no end in sight with regards to working with him, and while I truly think he's a fantastic boss, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE my job, it feels like a nervous breakdown waiting to happen, and if I have to wait forever I'm going to go insane? Plus if I hear news that he's got a new "special friend" I don't even know what will happen to my insides.. Inappropriate? Or appropriate, given the context of the conversation and the nature of our mixed-up boundaries? Sometimes, you have to give up something, to get something. Business and personal don't mix well and is frowned upon, when two people are working as closely you. Through experience, the business world has realized this, due to past drama from a multitude of individuals. What threatens productivity and a conducive work environment, is threatening to any corporation with reasonable professional requirements. Spookie, you keep rebutting everything, everyone's laid out to you, time and again. So...now it's time for you to tell us why you feel beyond a shadow of a doubt that the two of you are so compatible. Forget the one-sided physical chemistry of infatuation. Even better, look at it from Jack's side. What's his ideal woman? Do you fit the bill?
Author spookie Posted May 7, 2009 Author Posted May 7, 2009 You now, this is a real possibility. With my own story, if my boss was to stumble across my threads he would know 100% that it's me. And he would think that I am crazy and read all about my sleeping pill addiction, being desparate about turning 30 etc. The thought terrifies me. Especially because once I went on LS just after work day was over. He walked behind my desk and SAW LS. I truly hope that he didn't even really register what site it is, and I wasn't logged on so he doesn't know my user name. But STILL. Yeah, with every single new post and even more so a new thread we are closer to being discovered. If it wasn't for that I would post many more details. I wish there was an option on LS for deleting threads after we have gotten advice we need.. And with posting our pictures we were REALLY playing with fire of someone we work with recognizing us.. I like the way you describe your paranoia at being found. It's probably a lot like what most of us feel when we decide to document our lives here. But you know... everyone has secret lives online these days. Some people play games, some watch porn compulsively, some watch trashy videos or visit gore sites. This is our way of entertaining ourselves. So what? That's what I tell myself, anyway... What we really need is an invite-only section on LS. Only trusted people in. But of course, that kind of defeats the point of the site. The original point, anyway.
Author spookie Posted May 7, 2009 Author Posted May 7, 2009 So...now it's time for you to tell us why you feel beyond a shadow of a doubt that the two of you are so compatible. This is why. I'm not a smiley person. The typical feelings I feel throughout the day vary from tired to bloodthirsty,with hungry, irritated, a w k w a r d, and bored as the most common. And then there is laughter. Making the rest of it worth it. Thank God I know how to laugh. But anyway. I'm not a smiley perosn. I'm not really happy. My cynicism tends to get in the way. My eye for misery. But with him... it doesn't matter what we're doing. Within two minutes, I feel peaceful, satisfied... warm and bubbly inside. Like after living in Chernobyl all my life, I'm in the countryside, and I'm breathing fresh air. It's partly just cause I like him so much. The physical chemistry, but not just that. My emotional chemicals screwing up, falling for him. Despite my own best interests. The conversation with him is simple. He's always listening. He tries to understand, and he remembers everything. The silences feel comfortable; words displaced by affection; and sometimes when we start talking again, it feels like we're just using the only means we have to be closer to each other. He makes me stop being a cynic. The cynicism is wiped out my hope. That this is what life could feel like. And I trust him. I scheduled a meeting with him today to talk about my perpetual tardiness. The problem I have is that nobody cares. We're not your babysitters, they say; and as long as you get your work done, no one is counting your hours. The problem, is that my personality is the type that takes the mile, when given an inch. And now I've gotten an inch. Spookie and the Angry Inch. I wanted him to take it away from me. He said he wasn't going to. And then he talked to me about alarm clocks. And I felt electric, engaged, kidding and laughing with him. Anyway, that's why. I enjoy his company, and he makes me happy.
Trialbyfire Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 Comfort level and infatuation don't make for a strong or long-term relationship. What interests do the two of you have in common beyond your job? Also, you avoided the rest of my other questions. What is Jack's ideal? Do you fit the mould?
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