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Posted

I know we all feel this way when we are not right by their side...

But how do you cope?

I don't want to call him 100 times a day either...I don't want to sound too clingy..ya know?

We know we miss each other..

and I am going to visit him at the end of May...I cannot wait!!

 

But just wondering how many times a day you guys talk on the phone and also how do you cope getting through the day?

I just feel really blue today.

:(

I cannot wait to be with him already!

Posted

My LDR and I talk for about 2-4 hours every night on Skype, and we text anywhere from 20-50 times a day, depending on how busy our day gets. It's usually a constant stream of "imu ilu iwu inu tau" (our shorthand for I miss you, I love you, I want you, I need you, thinking about you), or variations on them.

 

This might seem like a lot to other people, but it works for us.

Posted

We talk at least once a day, mostly in the evening, on skype for anything between 20 minutes and an hour and a half - depending on how much time we have and what we have to say.

 

Very occasionally we get to talk twice in a day, but because of the time difference and work schedules there's not much of an overlap when we're both on skype at the same time.

 

We also send the odd emails and 'I love you' texts and, if the internet's down, we talk on the landline.

 

As we've been together for 14yrs we're probably a little different from most LDRs - definitely past the really 'gushy' stage anyway. :D

 

I haven't really mastered the 'feeling blue' thing yet - not sure if I ever will. I just keep busy during the day, do whatever I'm supposed to be doing, work out a lot (which lifts my mood a bit) and look forward to the evening chat.

Posted

Hmm.. I'd have to say we usually talk on the phone an hour everyday, but we're constantly texting eachother.

 

And I totally know what you mean because I miss him every second when I'm not talking to him, but what really helps me is doing different things so I don't think about it as much. Just go out with your friends, I'm not saying to forget about him completely but just so you don't have to think about it as much...

 

I don't know at least it works for me. Whenever I'm all bored and I don't have anything to do is when it sucks the most. So I'm always trying to do soemthing to keep me busy.

Posted

In the beginning we talked everyday. We talked for hours and hours.

We talked in the early morning (middle of the night for him) and then in the evenings.

 

We have always had to deal with phone problems - his country has really unreliable phone service.

 

Then in October 2007 the phone lines had terrible problems. It was expensive (as always) but calling cards still worked - however - when we'd get on the phone most of the time one of us could hear the other and the other would be wasting most of the time saying "hello - hello -- honey? Hello?".

Then the phone would switch and the other person wouldn't be able to hear and so it would continue "hello - hello - honey? Hello?"

Sometimes the call would just cut off. When connected again the issues would continue.

 

This happened for 6 months until April of 2008.

It completely SUCKED.

 

January of 2008 his cousin moved there and brought their laptop.

They live about 30 minutes from my husband.

So he does go there on occasion and we can talk using Skype for free.

But it has to be preplanned time and that can be challenging because it has to be before the bus goes back to where he lives AND work on my side that we have a time block available.

 

April 2008 a new phone company took over. While they were switching things calling cards worked AND we had completely clear conversation!!

We both craved more time because we could finally have an ongoing conversation for as long as we wanted.

So we were back to hours and hours on the phone.:love:

 

That lasted a week.

 

Then the lines were fine but all calling cards ceased to work.

 

So because of expense we had to scale down the talking.:(:mad:

 

Thanks to posters here we have worked out a cheaper way to talk but we still can't talk often.

 

So it ends up being on average a couple of times a week.

 

Sometimes those are longer calls because we need the time.

Sometimes they are very short calls - which SUCKS - but it is just what it has to be right now.

 

Just an hour ago we got to talk for 45 minutes. :love::bunny:

 

We both just cope with it and deal with it because we really have no other option.

 

It is really, really, REALLY hard. And it completely sucks that we do not have another outlet.

 

But I have been handwriting letters again (we did that the first year or so) and that helps.

I know I have some on the way to me and those days are better than others.

Posted

We e-mail once a day and text about 3-5x a day. With a 5h time difference and working full time calling during the week does not work for us but instead we call each other for 1-2h every weekend. Usually Friday and Sunday evening and sometimes Saturday. So far it works that way but sometimes I wish it was more often. But then I don't want to appear clingy.

 

Feeling blue is terrible!!! I get this a lot at the moment as well. I end up writing my feelings down in a mail and post that to him, that seems to help. Also with keeping busy. I still have to wait until end of June until I see him again and miss him terrible.

Posted

He's a student and I work for the cell phone industry(also a student) so this actually makes things easier. We can talk via msn all day long(yahoo blackberry!). We email when we can't talk. Also, both of us have unlimited Canada/U.S. calling plans on our phones which is cheap AND awesome so when we're both at home at the end of the day we usually talk about 4ish hours. But sometimes we don't really talk. We just like to be on the phone with each other because it makes us feel better. A while back we started playing Mario 64 together so we could see who could get the most stars. That of course resulted in a lot of dead silence on the phone with the occasional cuss word(that game really IS hard!). But it didn't matter because we were happy.

 

I think we're very lucky in the aspect of our LDR. My jobs allows it to thrive as much as it has and when he worked his last co-op he could email me until he was blue in the face. I'm just thankful that everything has been this way, and it really makes me feel horrible for all of those who struggle more than I have had to. Kudos to everyone who have difficulties.

  • Author
Posted

Thanks for all your replies!

It is interesting to read how some couples are different in the way they communicate.

My boyfriend and I are only on an hour time difference. He is in Missouri and I am in PA.

What makes my situation so "different" I guess you can say..

is that we did long distance for 2.5 years...then I moved out there to be with him in 2007.

He needed a separation this past January...and I was devastated and never thought that it would happen..but I had to respect his wishes. So I moved back to PA.

 

Now we have reconciled and he knows that without me ..I AM his soul mate and he does want me back in his life for good.

I was never so happy to hear that it made me cry!!!:)

 

So needless to say...we are back to LDR again (which I am grateful for!)

but I am planning on moving out there again this summer.

I pray so hard that everyday he doesn't change his mind or whatever..

but he seems pretty set on this.

I love him so much that it hurts!!!

I am visiting him May 28th...and I have a job interview set up, too!

Posted

I really hope it works out for you this time. What he put you through before was pretty brutal. Good luck!

Posted

I know exactly how you feal. Unfortunately, my girlfriend has begun to get a little too accustomed to dealing with the distance. We talk less and less, and now we hardly talk at all. I know that she still loves me and its all a defense mechanism put up by her in order to not have to constantly dwell on the fact that we can hardly ever talk face to face, that I can't hold her at night, that we can't go on dates together, but its taking its toll on me, also. And now I can't even talk to the person that I want to more than anything...

 

Its okay, things will get better for you.

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