cyril's fan Posted May 3, 2009 Posted May 3, 2009 Have read so much about men saying they appreciate ladies asking them out, how they like some confidence and assertiveness. So guys with girlfriends/wives/fiancees, how many of you would politely decline and explain that you have a significant other already? Do you not mention your girlfriend and go out with the lady who asked, if you're interested in the latter? Or does your answer depend on the stage of your current relationship, i.e. if it's in the early part, you don't say but if you're in the mature stage of it, you decline?
IceWind Posted May 3, 2009 Posted May 3, 2009 Lol, well because my GF and I doing well and are nearing four years together, I would be morally and conciously obligated to state that im taken, but thanks for asking! Never happended to me yet, but its very cool to feel "desired" by other woman even if your taken! I would never say yes to a "date" unless a previous relationship was ended or on the tail end of ending. Anything past that is cheating.
colosseum Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 Or does your answer depend on the stage of your current relationship, i.e. if it's in the early part, you don't say but if you're in the mature stage of it, you decline? This is how I'd do it. And by early I mean courting/dating still. I see nothing wrong with dating 1+ person.
Woggle Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 I have been asked out a few times and I tell that I am happily married and will never cheat. Most of the time that has done the trick. One would not take no for an answer and I had to get rude but except for that I let them down nicely.
bluechocolate Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 I think until you agree as a couple that you are now in an exclusive relationship then you're both free to date others. Once decided of course you should decline any outside requests for a date.
voldigicam Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 Making clear that one is attached is the correct thing to do. Keeping that concealed seems quite unethical as between the asker and the the attached one. If the invitation continues, that's a separate issue concerning the primary relationship. Accepting that type of invitation poses different challenges. My personal response depends on what the asker has in mind. A college student seeking conversation and a quick fling. Well. I'll be tempted. Someone else's wife wanting a steady thing. No way. Someone seeking a special relationship not involving sex. Hmmm. I'll certainly listen carefully and see what's up. No single individual can possibly meet all the needs of another, so friends are welcome. Sometimes these friends may be of the opposite sex, but not lovers. Sometimes these friendships may arise from someone asking one "out." A difficult general question.
runner Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 Have read so much about men saying they appreciate ladies asking them out, how they like some confidence and assertiveness. So guys with girlfriends/wives/fiancees, how many of you would politely decline and explain that you have a significant other already? Do you not mention your girlfriend and go out with the lady who asked, if you're interested in the latter? Or does your answer depend on the stage of your current relationship, i.e. if it's in the early part, you don't say but if you're in the mature stage of it, you decline? whilst i don't mind being asked out, i prefer it if she shows interests and allows me the opportunity to ask her out first. for your first Q: if i sense in the slightest that she might be interested (and not so much on my part) then i usually throw out a hint, like, "yea me and my gf went skiing..yadda yadda." this way i won't even have to get to the whole awkward declination/explanation thing - which goes back to why i prefer doing the asking out first. on the second part: if i talk about a 'girlfriend', then i'm committed and i don't stray. otherwise, i'll go out with whomever i want.
Author cyril's fan Posted May 4, 2009 Author Posted May 4, 2009 This is how I'd do it. And by early I mean courting/dating still. I see nothing wrong with dating 1+ person. With the 1+ person, would you be active about making plans or expect her to do the heavy lifting?
Author cyril's fan Posted May 4, 2009 Author Posted May 4, 2009 No single individual can possibly meet all the needs of another, so friends are welcome. Sometimes these friends may be of the opposite sex, but not lovers. Sometimes these friendships may arise from someone asking one "out." How can you tell whether the individual is asking you out to be a friend? Or is that not possible to detect?
Recommended Posts