gorgeousboy Posted May 3, 2009 Posted May 3, 2009 New girl emails me and suggested going for a drink. Gorgeous boy replies immediately and says great, let's do that. New girl drops off the face of the girl and has not gotten back to me. It has been a month. What gives? My bad?
tkgirl Posted May 3, 2009 Posted May 3, 2009 New girl emails me and suggested going for a drink. Gorgeous boy replies immediately and says great, let's do that. New girl drops off the face of the girl and has not gotten back to me. It has been a month. What gives? My bad? wait.. this happened a month ago? yea, it is your "bad" to still be wondering what happened... she's a major flake and not even worth another second of your time thinking about! move on, gorgeous boy.. there are plenty of good gorgeous women to be had!
Kamille Posted May 3, 2009 Posted May 3, 2009 Ah see. It sounds like you expected her to set up the date. She was firmly planting the ball in your court by saying: let's go out. You should have replied with: yes, how about going to Gorgeous boy's favorite lounge. She assumed your interest level was low and moved on.
Author gorgeousboy Posted May 3, 2009 Author Posted May 3, 2009 Ah see. It sounds like you expected her to set up the date. She was firmly planting the ball in your court by saying: let's go out. You should have replied with: yes, how about going to Gorgeous boy's favorite lounge. She assumed your interest level was low and moved on. But I said let's get a drink! I probably should have been more proactive but I literally thought she was asking for a yes no answer (don't laugh). So I thought the ball was back in her court, no? I really came across as uninterested?
Kamille Posted May 3, 2009 Posted May 3, 2009 But I said let's get a drink! I probably should have been more proactive but I literally thought she was asking for a yes no answer (don't laugh). So I thought the ball was back in her court, no? I really came across as uninterested? Yeah, I know, girls like her and me are confusing. We're kind of "tradional" in that we like to let the man set up the first few dates. I think that in her mind she was basically putting it out there that she was open to hanging out with you. The rest was up to you. She messed up too by not following up on the plans after you said yes. I agree. But I'm just explaining what might have been going on in her head. Then again, maybe she met someone else right in between reading the emails.
loveslife Posted May 3, 2009 Posted May 3, 2009 The initial stages of dating can be so confusing. If it were me and you had said, lets do it but not made a suggestion I would have felt you were being polite but not really interested. If you're still interested, I would suggest emailing her and saying something like, hey, I know it's been a while, hope you're still interested in that drink. How about this Friday at ..... at 7 o'clock. When she says yes and you get together, apologize in a light-hearted way about not suggesting something when she first asked. Make sure you do say something about that though, so she doesn't think this is just because you have nothing better to do.
Author gorgeousboy Posted May 3, 2009 Author Posted May 3, 2009 The initial stages of dating can be so confusing. If it were me and you had said, lets do it but not made a suggestion I would have felt you were being polite but not really interested. I don't know how she could have read as just polite but not interested. Or maybe my subconscious is really telling me I'm not interested.
loveslife Posted May 3, 2009 Posted May 3, 2009 Do you think if it had been someone else you would have jumped on it and suggested a place right away?
colosseum Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 We're kind of "tradional" in that we like to let the man set up the first few dates. I think that in her mind she was basically putting it out there that she was open to hanging out with you. The rest was up to you. I'd say most women are like this, regardless of tradition (in this society anyway--in the dating world I know of anyway). When she said "let's get a drink" that was her way of asking "can we do something? I want to spend time with you." I'm sure she expected you to come back with "yeah, great, what are you doing ____day? how about ___?" etc.etc. That said, she also sounds a little flaky. Also: a MONTH ago?! Like tkgirl said, yeah, you shouldn't be thinking about this still. But now that you know i guess if you're so compelled you can ask her again. but don't expect much.
Author gorgeousboy Posted May 4, 2009 Author Posted May 4, 2009 I'd say most women are like this, regardless of tradition (in this society anyway--in the dating world I know of anyway). When she said "let's get a drink" that was her way of asking "can we do something? I want to spend time with you." I'm sure she expected you to come back with "yeah, great, what are you doing ____day? how about ___?" etc.etc. That said, she also sounds a little flaky. I guess most interested men would have come back with some form of plans. I just didn't. Perhaps she thought I wasn't interested and moved on. Talk about 21st century dating.
Author gorgeousboy Posted May 4, 2009 Author Posted May 4, 2009 Do you think if it had been someone else you would have jumped on it and suggested a place right away? I'm not sure actually. It's probably how I'm. I was asked a question and I gave an answer.
tkgirl Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 I guess most interested men would have come back with some form of plans. I just didn't. Perhaps she thought I wasn't interested and moved on. Talk about 21st century dating. yep... I take back what I said in my first post... YOU were the flaky one! you should have come back with a definite plan... but you were expecting her to set up a time etc? I'm sure you meant well... but next time you want to see a girl, man up and ask her out on a real date! uh... sorry if I'm being a little harsh.... it's just that I went through a similar experience recently with a guy I REALLY liked and did date for a while... he would pop back into my life, say he wanted to see me and then never make a plan! It frustrated the H3LL out of me! so back to you maybe you should just chalk this up to a learning experience... most girls need the guy to make more of an effort... otherwise we think that you just don't care that much and we don't want to waste our time on someone that really isn't that into it.
Author gorgeousboy Posted May 4, 2009 Author Posted May 4, 2009 so back to you maybe you should just chalk this up to a learning experience... most girls need the guy to make more of an effort... otherwise we think that you just don't care that much and we don't want to waste our time on someone that really isn't that into it. This is in the learning experience bag already. But my fellow mates, do you always take back the lead after being asked out? Am I the only guy who just answered what was asked?
tkgirl Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 This is in the learning experience bag already. But my fellow mates, do you always take back the lead after being asked out? Am I the only guy who just answered what was asked? ok, so I'm not a "fellow mate".. but I am trying to understand your side... this girl initiated things, you responded by showing interest too and expected her to make the next move. totally understandable! In your mind you think she dropped the ball... but in her mind she was thinking you didn't show enough interest by not setting up a date.... wow, such confusion! I guess if this happens again and you are really interested, set up a date then and there... I don't know, call me old fashioned but this is why it should always be the guy to ask the girl out... to avoid this kind of confusion.... anyways, good luck to you!
OverThinker Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 From a guy. I have to agree with all the gals having just entered the dating world again after bit of a break I was reminded why I hate dating. What I would have said is "That sounds like fun I know a great place, they have half priced drinks on thursdays,are you free? She either is or isn't and at that point the dance begins.
tkgirl Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 From a guy. I have to agree with all the gals having just entered the dating world again after bit of a break I was reminded why I hate dating. What I would have said is "That sounds like fun I know a great place, they have half priced drinks on thursdays,are you free? She either is or isn't and at that point the dance begins. except I'd leave the part out about half price drinks.. makes you sound kind of cheap... except if she asked you out then she'd being paying and ???? yep, dating sucks...
OverThinker Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 Yeah I thought about editing that part out but then I thought no just "Over-thinking it" LOL. But that Line did work for me and no she didn't think I was Cheap and Yes we dated for some time.
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