AimeeNoel Posted May 3, 2009 Posted May 3, 2009 My boyfriend is an older man (50), he and I have been very close and he recently started talking about marriage. He has a young son (5) and apparently this boy has been saying things about feeling unloved because of me. This on top of money and job stresses have led my boyfriend to not only withdraw from me, but from his sister and dad whom he is close to. He told me he loves me and that he needs a little time to sort through this stuff. He said he wants me to wait for him. It's only been a week, but it's driving me crazy. What's going on here?
colosseum Posted May 3, 2009 Posted May 3, 2009 Sounds to me like he's pretty genuine, if he's withdrawing from his family too (especially in this state of economy)...Maybe just give him a call, see if he's doing alright? Maybe there's something going on (I bet his kid is a serious concern if he loves his son at all). I'd say just check in with him, tell him you miss him, seeing if he's doing alright. That could also be your way to see for yourself and give yourself a chance at peace of mind...
paddington bear Posted May 3, 2009 Posted May 3, 2009 I say give him the time he needs. Wait another week, don't contact him until then. Two weeks I think, is enough time for him to work through some stuff without feeling pressurised - after that it's a bit much for him to expect you to keep waiting on him to figure things out. How close are you to his family? Maybe you could call his brothers or sisters to find out how he's doing. If he was talking about marriage, he obviously loves you, but with a young child there who feels neglected and is blaming you for it, that's kind of tough, his first priority is always going to be his child. He's probably trying to figure out if there's a middle-ground between an either/or situation. Keep you and risk making his son unhappy, lose you and make himself unhappy, I'm sure he'll figure it out, but if you call him too soon, he may feel pressurised by it.
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