Dating partner with a status car (BMW, etc). Turnoff?

[Jake Barnes]

My family is dirt poor and didn't fund one cent of my education. I put myself through undergrad, and if I had chosen either one of two certain schools, I would have had a free ride to law school via scholarships and grants.

Okay thats true

 

I had one friend who got straight A's in HS who was from a poor family and the state totally funded his education, but if we were to limit higher education to people with straight A's or who came from rich families that would condemn the majority of people to eternal poverty

[Trialbyfire]

Because you are comparing taking out loans for higher education to buying sports cars

 

I know very few people who didnt have to take out educational loans and the ones who didn't had rich families

No loans and no parental funding. You can now leap to any other inaccurate conclusion you want.

 

I don't know and I don't care about cars, I am too much of a girlie girl to care about cars as long as it gets me from A to B I could care less what it is.

 

Gees why are you getting so wound up? We are having a conversation I didn't realise you were so passionate about status symbols.

 

 

Mercedes and BMWs are status symbols, everyone knows that of course people get those cars for different reasons, but those types of cars make a statement no matter how many of them you see in your neighbourhood. It doesn't matter what people get them for the name alone makes a bold statement that is what the OP is trying to say and I agree with the OP.

If you don't understand cars, how in the world can you possibly understand driving pleasure. Bimmers are great cars for the money.

 

I'm passionate about cars and less interested in drawing inaccurate conclusions through generalizations with little to no knowledge of the subject matter.

[rchrd881]

I am with you on that one, some women do make judgement on that I have heard it first hand from some of my friends. I have one friend (she is more friend of a friend we all hang out in the same circle) she made her boyfriend (now husband) trade in his car and made him get in debt because she did not want him picking her up in a an older beat up car when he would pick her up after work or at work fucntions.

 

It's disgusting really.

About five years ago, I picked up my roommate at an after work function in the simple brown Chevy pickup that I owned at the time. The look of shock on her co-worker's faces as I pulled up to the curb was priceless.

 

Many Americans go through their entire lives never having paid more than $5k for a car; Here these vipers are shooting eye-daggers over my clean 1-2 year old pickup. They should be happy that we all live with little fear of crime and have access to good food and clean water. I certainly am.

[jerbear]

I am with you on that one, some women do make judgement on that I have heard it first hand from some of my friends. I have one friend (she is more friend of a friend we all hang out in the same circle) she made her boyfriend (now husband) trade in his car and made him get in debt because she did not want him picking her up in a an older beat up car when he would pick her up after work or at work fucntions.

 

It's disgusting really.

I have to agree on this one, an "ex" gf tried this on me and I said NO! to her. Not going to buy that car only to impress her. I still needed to get to work. Fast forward, she divorced and had to declare bankruptcy.

 

You can't compare student debt to luxury sports cars

I have a near luxury car, student debt, and didn't have rich parents. I paid for my college and grad school (hence debt out the wazoo) myself.

[Trialbyfire]

BMW's are one of the cars with the most bang for the buck because of their service. A 4 year ultimate service helps save on TCO. When Lexus and Infiniti entered the market, BMW and MB focused on quality, experience, and SERVICE. One unique thing for BMW and MB is their European delivery, Lexus and Infiniti does not do that! How many Americans get to drive their MB/BMW/ (& Porche) on the Autobahn?! (plus get up to 7% off to boot)

Service, performance and handling. What more can you ask for, within a very reasonable price range.

 

Not necessarily true about collective identities or brand name is better.

 

I will use the BMW and Armani suits as examples. If I have a problem with a BMW, shoes, and the suits, I usually get it resolved in one call versus being put on hold for Dodge, write a letter, and I have to pay first then get reimbursed.

 

In regards to the material value to monetary value, yes the designer label does not make sense sometimes. Why pay 3x the cost for something that is twice as good? sometimes it does not make sense to pay $40k for a car when one can spend $20k for a car then replace it 3 years later; versus driving the $40k car to the ground in 5 years. A few years ago, you couldn't get a car with built-in NAV for under $35k now you can find them in Civics for around $20k.

As far as I'm concerned, if you can afford it, who cares what you're spending. If you can't and it's as you've stated, a 3 - 2 ratio, then I agree that it's silly and yet, if you're really enjoy the driving experience, a Civic isn't going to cut it, unless you modify the hell out of it. Civic modifications are the cheapest on the market, so, for around $5K - $10K more, you can get yourself quite the little performance car. The only problem is that it looks like something a twenty-something 2f2f wannabe, drives v. a car with more elegant lines.

[Star Gazer]

Exactly. A Dodge anything is always going to be a "Dodge" A BMW is always going to be a BMW a status of wealth and prestige.

 

But a man could have a 300K in his bank account but because he doesn't drive a BMW he hasn't "made it"!

 

I don't see it that way, but I suppose I can see how others would.

 

BF drives a Tahoe... to go, as the name suggests, to Tahoe in during snow storms. He paid cash for it. Until recently, he was living in a small condo. Outwardly, most people would probably think he was just any old guy with an average income. But he's definitely "made it" empiracly.

[Star Gazer]

Okay thats true

 

I had one friend who got straight A's in HS who was from a poor family and the state totally funded his education, but if we were to limit higher education to people with straight A's or who came from rich families that would condemn the majority of people to eternal poverty

 

There's also student loans, which don't require rich parents (and in fact, may be thwarted by rich parents). Student loans can be obtained at ridiculously low interest rates.

[Jake Barnes]

There's also student loans, which don't require rich parents (and in fact, may be thwarted by rich parents). Student loans can be obtained at ridiculously low interest rates.

yeah thats what i was talking about

 

i got the impression from tbf that she doesnt believe in them

[Trialbyfire]

Well my point is, which obviously escapes you, that most people are not that into cars they pick them for social reasons. They pick them because it looks good to drive them. A lot of the people in the OP's neighbourhood, and why I brough up the rich California girls scenario which you obviously didn't get because you are too concerned with pushing your own opinions to understand not everyone sees things like you do, is that the OP mentioned how people in the OC act since he himself lives in that neighbourhood.

 

 

What you are interested in is not that relevant to the topic, what the OP is talking about is.

The topic matter is about people broad-brush generalizing without due knowledge of individual requirements. You'd be surprised how many women enjoy driving. That you don't, is just as meaningful as me, enjoying it.

 

As for pushing my views on others, that's pretty funny considering who chose to interact with whom first. See the hypocrisy and own it, TC.

[allina]

Actually, I think people are way over thinking this issue. And I never realized that people were angry about what some stranger chooses to drive.

 

I own a 4 year old Acura RSX, and I LOVE it. It looks cute, handles well, I can park and drive it comfortable through city traffic, it's reliable and has an amazing service plan.

 

This year I'm probably going to get a new car. I'm not sure what I will get. I've considered everything from a 3 Series to a mini cooper. Ultimately, I'm going to get something that is reliable, comfortable to drive, practical AND looks good

 

The message and image my car communicates has never crossed my mind.

[Taramere]

I was talking to this guy recently, when he suddenly mentioned something about building cars. I asked for elaboration of this, and he said that yeah - it's a hobby of his. Has been for a long time. How long? Well, he began building his first car when he was twelve years old.

 

I gave him this astounded look, and he shot me a mildly astonished "what?" look back - as though setting about building a car at the age of 12 is no more of a deal than having the stabilisers taken off your pushbike when you're 5 years old.

 

Granted, for all I know the cars he's built look like this - but all the same, being able to throw a car together yourself (and having been able to do so since before puberty) is a tad more interesting and impressive than being Lord of the Roads in a company car. Even one with heated seats and a sold platinum Magic Tree hanging from the rear view mirror.

[Jaytb]

Who cares what rich girls in Cali understand? If they're wealthy, they can afford whatever they want. Why is that a big issue with you?

 

A Dodge Viper isn't known for its handling. Now if you're talking an SSC Ultimate Aero, that's another ballgame.

 

Do you consider a Jag, a status symbol car?

 

OooOoo I love when you talk cars . Love the SSC and the Koenigsegg CC and the Bugatti Veyron. Great cars, too bad they're a lot of money.

[Trialbyfire]

OooOoo I love when you talk cars . Love the SSC and the Koenigsegg CC and the Bugatti Veyron. Great cars, too bad they're a lot of money.

Spoken like a guy who enjoys cars. It shocked me when the SSC broke the Veyron record. Now those are status cars worth having!

 

But...I must admit to a preference for the Koenigseggs. They're prettier.

[Jaytb]

Spoken like a guy who enjoys cars. It shocked me when the SSC broke the Veyron record. Now those are status cars worth having!

 

The Veyron is still great for its power. Who wouldn't want 1001 HP in their car? Of course it's heavy like a Buick Park Avenue lol

 

But...I must admit to a preference for the Koenigseggs. They're prettier.

 

And they're hard to pronounce and hard to spell . But they all are awesome.

[Admiral]

Some people drive BMWs because they are actually good cars (the more expensive ones are.)

[Athena]

Others see socioeconomic status.

 

I see potential spending problem considering that one can "live the good life" for years while possessing a negative net worth thanks to credit.

 

What do you think? I'm especially interested in hearing thoughts on young women owning these cars. I live in The OC and it's largely expected that if you pull down a white-collar salary, you need to drive a car that fits your professional image.

 

I think anyone spending large amounts of money on something like a car which depreciates dramatically the minute you drive off the dealership's parking lot, has their priorities wrong.

 

And -- undoubtedly, they either do not own their house, but rent, and make up for that by driving a big fancy expensive car. These people are not thinking straight... their ego is more important to them than their economic stability.

 

However, having said that, IF they already have a decent home in a decent neighborhood, then owning a fancy car is not as suspect... just a little, not as much.

 

See, it's easier for someone from a low income bracket to spend HUGE amounts of money on the SMALL luxuries like fake nails, elaborate hairdo's, fancy cell phones, designer shoes, and even up to a fancy car, than to succeed at buying a home and saving money for a rainy day... they have 'something to prove'... a red flag for me.

[Cherished]

No. Mercedes are very well-built, quality cars. If someone has worked hard to earn that, kudos! If they have inherited family money, why not?

[Athena]

No. Mercedes are very well-built, quality cars. If someone has worked hard to earn that, kudos! If they have inherited family money, why not?

 

Sure why not? However, it is shocking to drive through an impoverished neighborhood and see how many fancy cars are parked outside these poor homes!!!

Priorities, priorities!

[Athena]

Yep!!!

 

But apparently it doesn't just happen in poor neighborhoods it happens in wealthy neighborhoods like in the OP and they question if half these people can even afford it? Are some of these people just looking to prove something, like why does a 16 yr old kid living in a wealthy neighborhood "need" such an expensive car?

I can understand they can afford it, but it is strictly status. At 16 you should be happy you even get a car.

 

Ever seen those sweet 16 shows where the moms throw extravagant parties for their kids and the kids want a new car and it has to be a BMW or a Mercedes they won't even look at any other form of car? The parents try to show them other cars that would be appropriate for them and they throw tantrums.

Lol, nope I haven't seen those shows! My take is more in synch with Nanny 911... not to spoil the child. The parents reap what they sow!

 

With our 22 year old son, first he was given my brother's old car (1990) when my son was 19. My son loved it!!!! It was a bit beaten up but a nice little red sports car ha ha. Well, it was totaled in an accident six months ago by a fellow student, so the guy's insurance paid us out a small sum (2g) as that is all it was worth blue book value.

Now he drives my beat up old Honda Accord --1992 model. And he is absolutely fine with that! Is grateful as hell to have wheels! When we offered him a pick of another newer second hand car for his upcoming graduation from university, he declined, saying this car is good enough for him and he will drive it until it absolutely can't go any farther.

 

I would not encourage any child to act like a brat. Ugh. Horrible. My children are happy with what they have, and never whine for anything. Honestly! They have always been good like that.

And it's not that my H doesn't earn very good money! He does.

[Cherished]

Sure why not? However, it is shocking to drive through an impoverished neighborhood and see how many fancy cars are parked outside these poor homes!!!

Priorities, priorities!

 

OK but I can tell you that I won't date some guy who is impoverished! You are talking about a whole other issue!

[mental_traveller]

Go for the person with the highest driving skill to car cost ratio. E.g. 1980s Mini driven like Senna = 10/10. Spanking new 911 driven like your grandmother = ditch the wuss.

[D-Lish]

I do get turned off by men (or women for that matter) that drive status cars. The first thing that comes to mind is that they are over compensating.

 

I am the same way with clothing labels. Nothing makes me snicker more than someone that wears clothing with the label splashed all over it, it's completely tacky.

 

People like that just scream "i'm trying too hard".

[Brady_to_Moss]

Ill say this. I am a car guy and i love fast, sexy cars. I do infact own a pretty expensive car(status car to you guys) yet i am only 20 yrs old. I have worked my ass off to pay for the car and i am greatful i make a good ammount of money to afford it. I love it and i dont care what people think. This is my dream car and i love driving it. If someone wont date you becasue you love cars and working on them, then their loss. Sorry if i love cars

[rchrd881]

If they have inherited family money, why not?

"Found" money is worth just as much as earned money. To treat it differently precisely demonstrates the lack of discipline about which I created this thread.

 

I will admit that some local families (non-American) strongly encourage their young to buy status cars so that they can "attract a good wife" who is as worthy as they perceive themselves and will give them money to do so. This same mentality is likely behind the ton of 20-25 year old homedebtors with foreign surnames showing up on the local property foreclosure rolls.

 

That topic is for another thread, however.

[39388]

It would generally not be a big deal to me at all.

 

However, if she could not reasonably afford it or it was part of a pattern of spending excessively, it might be a huge problem.