rchrd881 Posted May 3, 2009 Posted May 3, 2009 Whoa, you guys are harsh. I'm going with the male not having the emotional software to immediately deal with being on the receiving-end of a romantic advance due to a lack of experience in these matters. This kind of thing happens so rarely that we men have no formulated response pattern for it. Our brain does an instant "WTF/oh crap what do I say/LOL" and "I'll think about it" likely means that you confused him tremendously. Women have been dealing with these advances since their early teen years and have become experts. Men have essentially ZERO prior experience. Cut the poor bastard some slack! I'd give him a day or two to regain his poise and see if he comes back with an enthusiastic "yes!" Kudos to the OP for playing rejection-roulette as a female. If you all did it more often, us men would get better at handling it with grace.
PookFollower Posted May 3, 2009 Posted May 3, 2009 Guys is that true, when it comes down to it, you would rather ask the girl out than be asked out by a girl? No, because typically the one that asked you out isn't the one you wanted. Men are supposed to ask women out. That said, if the man is talking with the girl and it is obvious to the girl that he really likes her, would it hurt to help out a little? Something like "So what are you doing this weekend?" And wait for him to do something. If we like you, we will ask you out. Otherwise, it kills me to hurt a girl's feelings whom I'm not interested in, who asked me out. We're not used to it and it doesn't feel right.
refurb Posted May 3, 2009 Posted May 3, 2009 Op, it's my experience that in theory, men like the idea of being asked out. In reality, they don't. Correction, they don't like being asked out by girls they aren't interested in. RF
rchrd881 Posted May 3, 2009 Posted May 3, 2009 Correction, they don't like being asked out by girls they aren't interested in.They don't know how to deal with being asked out by ANY girl, whether they like her or not! Not that I'm discouraging girls from doing this, but they need to understand that the results are going to be unpredictable if they choose to tiptoe into these murky waters.
refurb Posted May 3, 2009 Posted May 3, 2009 They don't know how to deal with being asked out by ANY girl, whether they like her or not! Not that I'm discouraging girls from doing this, but they need to understand that the results are going to be unpredictable if they choose to tiptoe into these murky waters. Strongly disagree. There isn't a single guy out there who, if asked out by a chick he thought was hot, wouldn't know how to deal with it. RF
rchrd881 Posted May 3, 2009 Posted May 3, 2009 You're hanging out with a very different crowd. My co-workers in particular would sh*t themselves if a hottie from downstairs came up and asked them to go out.
You'reasian Posted May 3, 2009 Posted May 3, 2009 Ok, I'm game. Is there a female who wants to ask me out?
Peaceandlove Posted May 3, 2009 Posted May 3, 2009 Um what? He said he'll think about it? I don't think so. Tell me to jump off the bridge while he's at it. lol you rock xpaperxcutx! totally agree!
You'reasian Posted May 3, 2009 Posted May 3, 2009 Ok, I'm game. Is there a female who wants to ask me out? Gotta worn you though, I'm like 5'5"....98 lbs (soaking wet), am a bit of a computer nerd and have two left feet.
JustLooking123 Posted May 3, 2009 Posted May 3, 2009 Whoa, you guys are harsh. I'm going with the male not having the emotional software to immediately deal with being on the receiving-end of a romantic advance due to a lack of experience in these matters. This kind of thing happens so rarely that we men have no formulated response pattern for it. Our brain does an instant "WTF/oh crap what do I say/LOL" and "I'll think about it" likely means that you confused him tremendously. Women have been dealing with these advances since their early teen years and have become experts. Men have essentially ZERO prior experience. Cut the poor bastard some slack! I'd give him a day or two to regain his poise and see if he comes back with an enthusiastic "yes!" Kudos to the OP for playing rejection-roulette as a female. If you all did it more often, us men would get better at handling it with grace. Agree. If he takes initiative to approach you in the next day or two and accepts your offer, give the guy a chance. If anything other than that occurs, move on. And if he brings it up in the future or in a less-than-thrilled-to-date-you fashion, tell him, "Actually, I had some time to think it over too. I'm not interested!"
Kamille Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 Ok, I'm game. Is there a female who wants to ask me out? Hey there You'reasian, what are you doing next weekend?
tkgirl Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 after reading some of these posts I'm starting to think that maybe this guy does deserve a chance.. but I also think that it matters how he said "I'll think about it" was it all cocky-like? then no... not another chance in my book. Or was he sort of nervous and shy about it? then yes, he'd get another chance... anyone else curious what happens when she sees this guy next.. maybe tomorrow? I hope we get an update!
Author hibiscus21 Posted May 4, 2009 Author Posted May 4, 2009 Agree. If he takes initiative to approach you in the next day or two and accepts your offer, give the guy a chance. If anything other than that occurs, move on. And if he brings it up in the future or in a less-than-thrilled-to-date-you fashion, tell him, "Actually, I had some time to think it over too. I'm not interested!" so will it be pretty easy to tell if he just needed to process it or if he is just trying to play me, as some put it. Also, from the responses I'm getting, I'm guessing i shouldn't take the initiative and ask a guy out?
Author hibiscus21 Posted May 4, 2009 Author Posted May 4, 2009 I won't see him again till tuesday, that's when we work together again. When i told him, he seemed surprised but in a good way. He said he'll think about it in a "I'm not sure what to say" way. I don't think it was cocky, but I'm not entirely sure. I'll definitely keep you updated.
Author hibiscus21 Posted May 5, 2009 Author Posted May 5, 2009 Well I saw him for the first time today after asking him out, we really didn't say anything to each other, I know part of the reason was because we weren't really working around each other today, and we were both really tired. So if he had been interested, would he have said something by now?
dreamergrl Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 Ok, I'm game. Is there a female who wants to ask me out? I'd ask you out, but I gotta think about it, I'll get back to you
zhsoj Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 Whoa, you guys are harsh. I'm going with the male not having the emotional software to immediately deal with being on the receiving-end of a romantic advance due to a lack of experience in these matters. This kind of thing happens so rarely that we men have no formulated response pattern for it. Our brain does an instant "WTF/oh crap what do I say/LOL" and "I'll think about it" likely means that you confused him tremendously. Women have been dealing with these advances since their early teen years and have become experts. Men have essentially ZERO prior experience. Cut the poor bastard some slack! I'd agree with this. I've never had a single woman ask me to do anything that was outside of work/school/friends... I sometimes wonder if I am so dumb as to not notice "the signs", or if there really have never been any. I actually like the latter a bit more as being un-dumb is all I've got.
rchrd881 Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 So if he had been interested, would he have said something by now? I think he would have. Might be time to write him off. I still don't think he deserves the hatred shown above, but it does sound like he's not going to work out for ya.
Author hibiscus21 Posted May 5, 2009 Author Posted May 5, 2009 its all good. I definitely don't hate him, everyone's entitled to declining :-)
Author hibiscus21 Posted May 5, 2009 Author Posted May 5, 2009 So if i just wanted to hang out as friends, with no romantic interest, have i kinda of blown it?
Kamille Posted May 5, 2009 Posted May 5, 2009 So if i just wanted to hang out as friends, with no romantic interest, have i kinda of blown it? I wouldn't say so. As long as there aren't strong feelings on your side. BTDT. Just give him a grace get over it period, where you casually go about your business.
Author hibiscus21 Posted May 5, 2009 Author Posted May 5, 2009 It sounds like the guy is playing that "hard to get" routine. A lot of guys have smartened up to the fact that women don't like them to be "too eager". So, he's decided to "play" with you a little bit. That, or he now feels like he has the upper hand, so he CAN afford to say "I'll think about it." So if this is true, should i give him more time, or just move on?
Author hibiscus21 Posted May 5, 2009 Author Posted May 5, 2009 Depends on how much interest is still there. Has your interest in him faded since then, or gotten stronger? the interest is still there, i wouldn't say it has gotten stronger.
You'reasian Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 Hey there You'reasian, what are you doing next weekend? Picking you up for dinner and an evening on the beach
You'reasian Posted May 6, 2009 Posted May 6, 2009 I'd ask you out, but I gotta think about it, I'll get back to you .......
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