moothecow Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 Hi, This is my first post here. I'm so mixed up right now, I have a personality disorder which makes relationships very difficult at times. I can be manipulative and selfish. Its all part of having it. But I am getting help with my problems. However, I have been with my partner now for 3 years. I met him online, started talking one to one, that progressed to phone calls and then we met in person. It was a very passionate relationship from the start and was built on him being the more dominant, he liked a bdsm aspect. I was in a relationship at the time (my fault, but I was with my ex for over 10 years since I was 19 and he was my first). When I came home from being with him I told my ex that I had met someone else and that the marriage was over. I moved away from my home and moved near my parents for 6 months to get myself settle and to get to know my current partner better. We moved in together 6 months later. Things have sadly gone from bad to worse. Our sex life is now non existent and fizzled out within about a year of being together. He comes to bed at 1.30am each night and I am sound asleep by that time. Going to bed alone every night is crippling me and i hate it and I have told him this. All he says is, I'll change but it never happens. Whenever he wants sex, which is about every 3 months, he wakes me when he comes to bed and basically has his way. If I am ever in the mood we never have sex. I'm told that its not the right time. He also suffers from erection problems and cant perform unless he has control. I am started to despise this control. We are fighting so much and I hate it. And its over stupid irrelevant things. I go quiet to try and avoid fighting but he wont let me be quiet and keeps at me to tell him whats wrong and then he'll get defensive and it will end in a fight. I hate fighting when the kids are around, he has 2 daughters, I have a daughter and we have a daughter together. When we first started to get together his kids were like little wild creatures. No manners and didnt know how to behave at all. Unkept and shoddy but now they are lovely little girls who are thriving and behaving well. We never have a fun and he just sits at his computer when he is at home. Thats all he ever does.... and his kids have even said that they wished they could drag him away. Its come to a stage where I dont know if I can stay but how do I do it to the kids? How can I leave 2 step-daughters and go? To make matters worse, my family hate him. They think he is lazy and a slob. They would rejoice if I did walk away.
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