broken_promises Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 I posted yesterday about how it feels like breaking up with my 3+ year boyfriend is imminent. He has been stringing me along for a while now with lots of promises that he never follows through on. While I am very sad to be leaving the relationship, it is something I have been planning for months now. Even some of the good things that were keeping me wondering about whether I should end it have disappeared. However, the thing that is complicating all of this and making it hurt that much more is that he is apparently already lining up a new girl via Facebook. I can't bear dealing with this. She is so much like me and it sickens me that he is already finding interest in a new person before we are through. I can't stand the punched in the stomach feeling of knowing that he is already moving on and that I'm going to be just another female in his long line of unsuspecting females that he ropes in with promises and then can't commit to. So, I guess my question is... do I let him know that I know he is doing this? Or do I just get through the last few weeks I have until my college graduation (I'm older... 33 and he is almost 37) and breakup and leave. (I start grad school in the fall.) Part of me wants to confront him and tell him that I think he is pathetic for already flirting with someone else from HIGH SCHOOL that was, like, 20 years ago. And part of me wants to pretend to be the bigger person and just leave when I can.
Excellent Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 I'd say cut him loose now, and let him pursue this new and inexperienced interest. He should know how much this is hurting you, and she should know how low-class it really is to try to steal someone who is already taken, if she is aware of your relationship. That relationship won't last, and when it ends he will be banging on your door again. Hopefully, you will already have moved on and have someone else who respects you. He doesn't deserve you. My two cents.
You'reasian Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 I posted yesterday about how it feels like breaking up with my 3+ year boyfriend is imminent. He has been stringing me along for a while now with lots of promises that he never follows through on. While I am very sad to be leaving the relationship, it is something I have been planning for months now. Even some of the good things that were keeping me wondering about whether I should end it have disappeared. . Sorry to hear this. Looks like the two of you have arrived at the end of this relationship in agreement? However, the thing that is complicating all of this and making it hurt that much more is that he is apparently already lining up a new girl via Facebook. I can't bear dealing with this. She is so much like me and it sickens me that he is already finding interest in a new person before we are through.. Seeing that the relationship between the two of you is almost over, its probably best that you move on too, right? I can't stand the punched in the stomach feeling of knowing that he is already moving on and that I'm going to be just another female in his long line of unsuspecting females that he ropes in with promises and then can't commit to... That's unfortunate. At the same time, kinda makes me feel good about being single - being able to do my own thing, worry about myself and be my own person. So, I guess my question is... do I let him know that I know he is doing this? Or do I just get through the last few weeks I have until my college graduation (I'm older... 33 and he is almost 37) and breakup and leave. (I start grad school in the fall.) Part of me wants to confront him and tell him that I think he is pathetic for already flirting with someone else from HIGH SCHOOL that was, like, 20 years ago. And part of me wants to pretend to be the bigger person and just leave when I can. Is he older or you? You stated "I'm older" - sorry just trying to clarify. If he's re-connected with a friend from highschool, that's good for him. Chances are its someone that is from the same place as he, has grown up with him and has a few things in common that allows them to be together. Probably better, since he will be out of your life and allow you to move on.
Juristhea Posted May 3, 2009 Posted May 3, 2009 I posted yesterday about how it feels like breaking up with my 3+ year boyfriend is imminent. He has been stringing me along for a while now with lots of promises that he never follows through on. While I am very sad to be leaving the relationship, it is something I have been planning for months now. Even some of the good things that were keeping me wondering about whether I should end it have disappeared. However, the thing that is complicating all of this and making it hurt that much more is that he is apparently already lining up a new girl via Facebook. I can't bear dealing with this. She is so much like me and it sickens me that he is already finding interest in a new person before we are through. I can't stand the punched in the stomach feeling of knowing that he is already moving on and that I'm going to be just another female in his long line of unsuspecting females that he ropes in with promises and then can't commit to. So, I guess my question is... do I let him know that I know he is doing this? Or do I just get through the last few weeks I have until my college graduation (I'm older... 33 and he is almost 37) and breakup and leave. (I start grad school in the fall.) Part of me wants to confront him and tell him that I think he is pathetic for already flirting with someone else from HIGH SCHOOL that was, like, 20 years ago. And part of me wants to pretend to be the bigger person and just leave when I can. Guys who do this don't know how to convey the message that the relationship is over. He's immature in all aspects and the least that he could have done was break up with you when needed, not give you a slow painful death. IMO, it's best for you to just walk away and start moving on and healing yourself. It's not wise anymore to linger in that relationship knowing what awaits you.
LadyV Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 I have to say, I am in the same boat. I fell in love with a commitment phobe. We were together for only 5 months, but in those 5 months, have been through enough and it is flat out draining.... Over a month ago, he showed up at my house and told me it didn't feel right and that it was done. I was so devastated and hurt. He then contacted me and we kept in contact, even being intimate on 3 separate occasions. What a mistake. He flat out told me just a few days ago that if I think sleeping with him will get him to come back, it won't happen. He keeps saying he wants to be friends and so forth, but doesn't want to lead me on. HOW DO MEN DO THIS??????? SERIOUSLY??????? I thought I could do it, no string attached, but Nope, I can't. I called him today and told him I want him to loose my number and never contact me again. He agreed that it isn't fair to me...because he already knows that there is never a chance between us.... I'm out of town on emergency. Have been dealing with a death in the family so that has been my focus. Well, now that the funeral is done, and it seems like the dust has settled, my heart feels like it is breaking all over again. I made the mistake of creeping his facebook along with another girl on his site, and just by going off the statuses, sounds like they plan on going out....I called him today and told him I was done, no more contact and that it...I even went as far as blocked his number It still hurts, but it is what it is. He's a jerk, and I feel like he never loved me...I am even beginning to question what it was we even shared because I honestly didn't see a future with him....too much drama and too much baggage....I know I did the right thin, it is nothing compared to your years with him, but I know, it still kind feels like a kick in the teeth....
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