musketeer Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 Hi friends , I am 25 yr old with no forum posting experience. So please bear my mistakes & useless words. Have been in relationship with quite a few girls for years, but never came across such a big prob that would haunt me. Okay, let's begin: We own an institute. Few months back, we had a new trainer. I didn't like her looks initially & planned to replace her with some other trainer. I had no feelings for her, just took her as another employee & would rarely have any talk with her. But after few weeks i found her very cute, sweet & caring (for me & institute) from inside. This sparked me inside, and we began to like each other's company In my response i always had "Respectful but Bossy" Attitude (bossy because i fear that if i let loose with someone, one might say no to some work, which i cannot bear!) which she seemed to like. Following are her few indications of liking me! which i like very much and will not forget for long! * She referring me Mr Cool and even her partner in her SMSes (On partner I hit her back under my Bossy attitude principle!) * She cutting fruits for me in my room & even cleaning my water spills! * She picking up my belongings - watch, mobile, car keys & physically resisting me before giving back * She getting a kiss from me on her hair while fun fighting me one day * Me Holding her hands & she getting tensed & closing her eyes! * She asking me to bring choclates for her * She faking her dad to be doing work & spending extra time with me watching rainfall on the roof top * She taking my belongings home - taking her exams with my personal pen & taking a flowers booket, meant for me, her home * & mony more things i cannot forget But with girls i have one attitude problem - I don't want them to overpower me & thus always try to tease them. Normally i succeed & the girl gives up. This attitude got me many girls & is good enough for initial stage of relationship. Anyhow, this girl didnt use to give up on serious teases and always hit me back strongly. Mostly we enjoyed it, but in serious teases, it use to get serious. So, after a while these beautiful enjoyable talks had this venom of BATTLES which was very bad as such & without any reason - just to prove dominance over each other even though we liked each other! These battles started growing on me. And one day in the battle she said some words (which she just spoke to prove dominance as usual) on which i thought i cannot take it anymore. I felt so bad that i stopped talking to her for days and i could see, she was crying inside & i had feeling this could have a bad outcome Then after 2-3 weeks, she came upto me with cold face and said she is resigning with a notice of 10 days from today with reason being she getting better salary near her home. It was shockingly unexpected after considering how much time i have spent with her, even training her to get better at job - which eventually got her better salary offered, even she admitted it. We talked on normally (respectfully without battles) for two days. I had to raise her salary & even talk to her dad to make her stay (mainly for the intitution sake, as students were very satisfied & she knoew that). But i really disliked how everything happened. IS THIS FAIR?? I am confused for why she did so? It maybe due to my ignoring attitude - she wud remain depressed at home & her parents couldnt digest and ask her to change job. this is supported during our respectful negotiating talks when she says i dont wanna leave, but my dad presses for better slaray near home & she even said i will try to convince him, at one point. Or of she is money minded ( which is equally likely); she knew our business is dependent on her; she even said that you, not her, would be loser if she leaves- if that is the case, i am really heart broken & arrange a replacement for a future repeat of same incident. PLZ HELP on how should i proceed with this relationship.... restart it or she doesnt deserve it??? NOW whatever be the reason, i just want her to get off my head. i dont want her to control my thoughts... never happened before with any girl.... Thanks... I hope i wrote it all well, but i m sure i didn't!
bluechocolate Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 Few months back, we had a new trainer. I didn't like her looks initially & planned to replace her with some other trainer. What kind of an institute do you run where someone's looks are relevant to the job ? Or do you always hire people thinking of them as a potential new g/friend ? IS THIS FAIR?? I don't know where you live, but in this county, the UK, & most of the western world, someone in a position of authority at a workplace acting in the way you've described here would be breaking a few laws. Then after 2-3 weeks, she came upto me with cold face and said she is resigning with a notice of 10 days from today with reason being she getting better salary near her home. I'd say she had better reasons to be leaving, just that it is easiest to say she would be getting better money. Guess your teasing didn't work with this girl.
Author musketeer Posted May 3, 2009 Author Posted May 3, 2009 We train young students & we have observed that attendence & interest among students varies according to the personality of the trainer. My only point was that i was not attracted to her from the beginning. BTW, i m in the insti for 2 yrs & we have around 30 trainers, but i have maintained proper distance with everyone. I dont mix personal with work. But this girl's super sweetness got me interested to her. ANYHOW, I want to have beautiful normal friendly relationship with her, where we both make each other happy & wothout battles. & not thinking about her all the time. i do not know how i will accomplish this, but this is my goal.
Recommended Posts