lalunadeamo Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 :lmao:I always seem to find myself falling hard for ppl. so over the year i put up more and more wall to help me not get hurt as muchas with the last person. But once again here i am torn to peices on the inside but i have to keep a tough face on the out....or try to. I find myself now 5 and 1/2 month pregnant with a beautiful baby girl and i love her father with more than i could ever feel. I know he loves me too but he has alot of issues. im not saying i dont but he just hurts me and hurts me over and over again. I was engaged to him till last night but i cant do it no more. Its so hard i cant image him not being with me i cant image every reallly letting go even tho i should. i should of a long time ago but he has my heart. im tried of crying and fighting. im tired of him yelling and saying things that make me want to run and die. I hate seeing him abuse himself i know alot of it is just blow cause he could never truly harm himself just small minor things but they hurt me and he dont understand. I dont want to see broken walls and doors cause he wont talk but instead has the need to blow up and make things up in his head and freak out then turn around a beg and pled tell me im the only thing he has and he didnt mean the things he said or called me he says he dosnt know what wrong with him and he curses god for making him just like his dad. I dont know how to keep strong tho i know i cant yeild and take him back. Hell he is probably out right now with his so called friend talking to girls just cause his friend says he should. i sorta want him too but i dont, i wanna be with him, i love him, I feel like ill regret not taking him back and trying to help him once again but ill regret taking him back when everything happens again. Were acorss the country from anyone i know i cant go back home i cant take his daughter from him, i dont want to be without him but how can i stay how long can i wake up every morning find him asleep on the couch wonder who he was with what he was doing and keep a strong face when he says hell do anything to get me back. How do i explain to our daughter when she is old enough why i wont be with her father and why i am so unhappy and lonley and how he the only man ill ever love the way ido.......
Admiral Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 Paragraphs. They help us help you. If he is putting holes in the walls, he'll soon attempt to put holes in you. Don't get in a relationship with someone violent, and if you are, get out of it.
Author lalunadeamo Posted May 2, 2009 Author Posted May 2, 2009 He would never hit me, he scares me but i dont believe he would hit me tenionally
Kamille Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 He would never hit me, he scares me but i dont believe he would hit me tenionally I hope that tenionally isn't some form of the word intentionally. Listen, he is hurting you. You're letting him hurt you. It sounds like this guy might have some kind of substance-abuse problem. You cannot help him. You cannot change him. And you wouldn't be helping your daughter by staying in a relationship that is this unhealthy. You say yourself he scares you. Imagine how much he would bewilder a child.
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