Cora Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 Hey guys, I have a date tomorrow night and I'm really nervous. I haven't been on one in such a long time and I really need a boost of confidence. Anything to get over the nerves? How to be more confident? How to act? What to say? What not to say? I'm afraid I'm gonna screw it up. I am really shy which he knows but I don't wanna end up being a knot on a log and hardly say a word. Any tips would be great! Thanks
Lucky_One Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 I used to like to have an actual list in my head of topics in the news that I could bring up in an awkward silence (Did you hear that Jon is skipping out on Kate Goslin? I can't decide if we are over-reacting to the swine flu outbreak.). Or questions (You are in great shape; do you work out? I picked up a real estate book on the subway the other day, and found the perfect lake house; would you rather have a second home in the mountains or on the water somewhere?) Or tell him funny stories about the neighbor's dog who got stuck under the front porch steps. Don't fret. If he didnt' like you, he wouldn't have asked you out. What are you going to wear?
Mahatma Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 If it is a one on one date, both people must be shy for it to be a little weird. If he is not very shy, he'll talk in the beginning and bring you out of your shell.
Juristhea Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 Just avoid these though. I thought that you may want to take a look at that since I don't know what to give to a guy. http://ezinearticles.com/?First-Date-Mistakes---What-Not-to-Do-on-a-First-Date&id=2215420
MichiganMan222 Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 You can think of a ton of questions to ask him. Write a list down of everything you want to know about him (don't take the list with you tho lol). School, job, siblings, family, his vehicle, favorite sports-teams, weekend entertainment, online activity, etc. The worst thing is making him initiate 100% of the conversation. That is SOOO annoying. This way you initiate it and he gets to talk about himself. I'm sure you'll put your own two cents about yourself after he's done talking about it. As for past relationships, its supposedly taboo to talk about on dates, but every single date I've had, we talked about it. It wasn't a big deal. Seriously, do this. I had one date that was so shy and wouldn't start any conversations, and when I tried, she some how managed to bring it to and abrupt end with simple one word answers. It was so awkward and uncomfortable. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. The best date I ever had, she showed up an hour late. I filled that time with vodka/cranberries. By the time she got there, I was so loose and social, it was great (we are in love now LOL). I'm not suggesting get hammered, but the point is, loose social behavior is a winner.
alphamale Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 Hey guys, I have a date tomorrow night and I'm really nervous. I haven't been on one in such a long time and I really need a boost of confidence. Anything to get over the nerves? How to be more confident? How to act? What to say? What not to say? I'm afraid I'm gonna screw it up. I am really shy which he knows but I don't wanna end up being a knot on a log and hardly say a word. Any tips would be great! Thanks i think if you verbally mention to him that you're shy and nervous up front then you'll automatically calm down. even the venerable alphamale gets nervous sometimes and it works for me either that or you can talk to WWIU about CBT techniques
Author Cora Posted May 3, 2009 Author Posted May 3, 2009 Thanks guys for all the great advice!!! The date seemed to of went well. We both had a great time. The nerves didn't last long around him. He is quite shy himself....maybe even more so than me. Didn't think that was possible. He kept looking at me and smiling so I just smiled back. It was a bit awkward at first but I just went with it and soon we were both laughing. I got a good night kiss and he wants to see me again tomorrow. He even sent me a text on my way home saying I can't wait to see you tomorrow. So I guess we will see how it goes. I'm not getting my hopes too high though because everytime I do that it usually all comes crashing down.
Els Posted May 3, 2009 Posted May 3, 2009 Glad to hear that, Cora! But nonono no reservations! You can tell yourself 'it's okay if it doesn't work out, plenty more where that comes from' but not 'it's all gonna crash down anyway'. That'll only be a self-fulfilling prophecy, cause it'll show!
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