BW007 Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 I think that I have been too devastated by being cheated on. I fell into a major depression over it, have let my life really fall apart, but also inappropriately wanted her back. I know that all of our cheating exes were crappy to us but it takes two to mess up a relationship. On this site I see a lot of people in absolute misery, over and over and over again, who have been cheated on yet want that horrible cheater to cut the crap and fix everything. Is that because we are broken down people? Our pride and boundaries have certainly been damaged by this stuff. Violated trust and a fog of disbelief that the one we invested so much love into could be capable of being so crappy to us and gave up on the relationship can beat the hell out of us. If you have been cheated on and started out in this fog of still wanting the person has hurt you so bad around, please share how you overcame these seemingly positive but ultimately destructive tendencies...
CuteCumsBer Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 Im not sure if this will help you but being cheated on is not the end of the world. Yes its hurt, yes you feel horrible, Yes you wonder why she/he cheat on you. Just take it this way...if she/he love you she/he wouldn't do that to you. Unless you are not good enough for her/him. I've been cheated on before, and it was terrible. I wanted to kill myself and doesnt want to live any more. But we have to learn from it and move on. There are pleny of fish and different species out there in the lake. Just look for the right one.
Flying Burrito Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 it takes two to mess up a relationship. Bullsh*t. Sometimes it only takes one selfish dick like me. Sometimes other people (some even well-intentioned like some parents are) step in and f*ck you both up. Get in some more workouts at the gym this weekend. Heavy exercise will help.
vessv6l Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 2 people dont always contribute to a relationship breakup in this situation. Maybe she just wandered and cheated through no fault of your own. Thats not going to help you though. At the end of the day that sacred bond you had with her was betrayed so you are going to feel like garbage for a while. I wasnt physically cheated on, more emotonally and it helped to cut her out of my life completely and tell myself that she wasnt worth my time. I deleted her number, removed her from social networking sites, anything that i had likes notes and drawings she gave my i burned, through out jewellery that she gave me too. This was symbolic of that time being over and helped me establish that is was final. I have bounced back suprising well over the last few weeks. Still miss another persons warmth but i know its not her i miss, just someone there. You should try to do that same. Looking from my perspective its simple, she was not worth what you have to offer. If she was she would not have betrayed your trust like that. She doesnt care, she didnt care when she was doing it. Just remember that you deserve better then that. You ache for her now but keep in mind that you want someone who you can love and trust, she isnt that girl. Good luck getting through it, hope it gets better for you soon
EmperorR Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 It doesn't take two to mess up a relationship it takes one with no morals and one who is scum. Yes right now it sucks I know all to well but in time you get over it, there was nothin you could have done to stop her from cheating nothing. Of coursebyou were probably blamed " you weren't there for me". Regular cheaers guilt but it's all bs. In time you'll get over it, in the early stages you blame yourself, say hey maybe it was just a mistake if she apologies we can work it out but it's all bs. Know that the sooner you get over this the quicker you will find someone who doesn't open up their legs for some doucebag they jus met.
fabulous_chk Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 I have been cheated on. My ex and I broke up 6 weeks ago. I was devastated, like you, crying, not eating or sleeping, would miss my classes...everything was upside down. These are the things I did so far, and thank God I'm not on devastated mode anymore. I still have sadness and a quick burning pain on my chest specially when things get slow. 1). Talked, talked, talked until I'm blue in the face about the break up. Friends listened and gave advice, but it's the talking that helped me release the emotions building up inside me. 2). Surrounded myself with people. Would go to the busiest places like Dunkin Donuts or the library. I found comfort in humanity...watching people move about and knowing every single one of us have tragedies in our lives. And the world still turns. Life goes on. 3). Went to a hypnotherapist for 3 sessions. It was worth it. After seeing him I began eating and sleeping normally. My grief had lessened....not immediately, but I definitely noticed changes in my perspective. This is hard to explain but I recommend people to see a hypnotherapist if they can get hold of one. 4). Began taking St. John's wort. I've read that it takes 3 weeks to work on mild depression. I will keep taking this forever - I believe it does help me boost my mood. I find it really easy to smile and laugh these days. 5). JOINED A 24-hour GYM! I lost 9 lbs already since I joined it 6 weeks ago. It feels so good and is getting quite addictive. Also, you will find a lot of hotties there. lol. 6). Dated! I'm talking to three men at the moment...no expectations, no strings attached...just goofing off, having fun. No sex.. No romance. Just flirtations. 7). Danced. I've been clubbing every Saturday since this happened....and I found out that I do love dancing. I would find the best dancer in the club and dance with him. I don't even exchange names, I'm just like, "Hey you're a great dancer. Teach me." Then I thank him and leave when I get tired. 8). Kept busy. For me it's school. I started joining study groups. I started sleeping over at classmates's houses, even though I can study by myself. It's not letting myself slow down and think too much. 9). Have faith. Think positive. I turned to God, but whatever religion or spiritual faith you hold, this is the time to turn to it. I don't carry my burden anymore because I believe that God is carrying it for me right now. He has done so many great things for me recently. This has gotten long...I hope some of this help you remove your destructive thinking. I do recommend the hypnotherapist...the first thing he induced me to do is to forgive my ex and the girl he cheated on me with. And I forgave.
Recommended Posts