JanaJ Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 I'm a sophomore in college and i'm really dissapointed right now. I've slept with 4 guys in the last month and they are all terrible in bed. How do i know if a guy is good in bed by looking at him? Any suggestions???? I'm here on a friday night because i have no hope that I will be pleased tonight. Maybe I'm just a lesbian...
xpaperxcutx Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 Sweetie 4 guys in a month is alot, I hope you got tested? What is it about them that just wasn't doing it for you? Did they make you orgasm? Did they eat you out? Or were you the only one satisfying them?
Lovelybird Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 Maybe you are completely going a wrong road. Why sex is exciting? not just because some chemicals, that does happen, but very short lived and superficial. My advice is that you have to love a man from your bottom of your heart, then you will find out it is not their tricks sucks, but matter of heart
CuteCumsBer Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 you can not judge the book with the cover sweetie. I guess you have to TAKE your time to find the right one that will satisfy you. not 4 guys in a month.
missmich Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 I don't think you're a lesbian,but you do need to slow down. Sleeping with that many men in such a short amount of time will get you a bad rep and maybe an STD,neither of which you want. There is no way to tell if a person (male or female) is good in bed just by looking at them. For me I have to be attracted to the man and also really feel something for them and also feel comfortable and safe with them before I want to have sex with them. Sometimes the first time with them we are both nervous and it isn't perfect and sometimes I don't cum,but there is always the next time and the sex gets better...for the most part. You also have to know what YOU like in bed so you can show or tell the guy.
Kamille Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 Men's abilities in bed increase with their desire to impress and please. Usually, that means they won't try really hard for a one night stand. So, the best way to spot a bad lover? He's drooling over you come closing time in a bar. The best way to maximize good love-making? Spend some time getting to know the guy before shagging him.
Lovelybird Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 How about purity? and have sex only with your husband? without love and commitment, you are just cheapening sex
MN randomguy Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 I'm going with Alphamale on this one. On the off chance he's wrong I'd say there's something wrong psychologically. I've known very few women that are OK with such promiscuity. Most have issues with sexuality. But, female sexuality is very tied to your emotional state. That's why it makes no sense. What are your expectations? Are you trying to orgasm? Are these the first 4 guys you've been with? Many (especially) young women don't orgasm from intercourse. Are you expecting to be moaning like a porno? That's fiction.
sotired Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 No all men don't suck in bed. But if you think you are a lesbian, go screw a few chicks and see if they do it for you.
cn283 Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 Just because you haven't found a guy good in bed doesn't mean your a lesbian...sexuality is a bit more complicated than that. Are you telling guys what turns you on? Are you actively trying or just lying there hoping he does all of the work? There's more to sex than getting naked and rolling around; it takes chemistry, patience, and communication.
Sephirothh Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 well if you think they are terrible in bed, there is a chance that they think the same, try better foreplay, increase your anticipation, use toys, role play, try new things, put more effort into it, be more dominant, go after a nice guy and make him your little b)tch, many factors right there that will help u
Admiral Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 No, you're just having back luck. Personally, I never go down on a random woman in a one night stand. I don't want to catch anything. (I'm aware of dental dams, but oral sex can't be performed right on a woman with one, and they take away too much of the sensation for her.)
Sephirothh Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 No, you're just having back luck. Personally, I never go down on a random woman in a one night stand. I don't want to catch anything. (I'm aware of dental dams, but oral sex can't be performed right on a woman with one, and they take away too much of the sensation for her.) First of all everytime I hear that "I dont want to do so and so with this girl cuz I don't want to catch anything" I think of that as an excuse of maybe you've got cold feet, come to think of it I've never known anyone in THE COMMON CIVILIZED DATING SCENE (not counting slums) with an STD NEVER its not as common as people make it out to be, Yes people do have them, and if it is them that person who has it is probably known around the town of having it, if you catch my drift
sotired Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 Huh?? Stds are pretty darn common. People don't go around saying they have them, but go look up some statistics.....And those are just the reported cases. You do know people can have them and be asymptomatic right? So they wouldn't have big sores or cottage cheese...but still be passing it around. Thinking "only skanks have stds" is pretty dangerous.
Star Gazer Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 Men's abilities in bed increase with their desire to impress and please. Usually, that means they won't try really hard for a one night stand. So, the best way to spot a bad lover? He's drooling over you come closing time in a bar. The best way to maximize good love-making? Spend some time getting to know the guy before shagging him. Yup! That's it!!!
Admiral Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 First of all everytime I hear that "I dont want to do so and so with this girl cuz I don't want to catch anything" I think of that as an excuse of maybe you've got cold feet, come to think of it I've never known anyone in THE COMMON CIVILIZED DATING SCENE (not counting slums) with an STD NEVER its not as common as people make it out to be, Yes people do have them, and if it is them that person who has it is probably known around the town of having it, if you catch my drift I doubt your friends would call you up one night and say: "So, I've got herpes."
Bejita463 Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 First of all everytime I hear that "I dont want to do so and so with this girl cuz I don't want to catch anything" I think of that as an excuse of maybe you've got cold feet, It is not an excuse as much as it is being aware that one's actions can, and often do have consequences. What you perceive the odds of catching an STD to be is irrelevant. If you roll those dice only to later find you've cast snake-eyes, you'll have your entire life (which may have been recently shortened) to regret it. come to think of it I've never known anyone in THE COMMON CIVILIZED DATING SCENE (not counting slums) with an STDThat you know of. NEVER its not as common as people make it out to be,That is probably true, but trusting someone you do not know with something so important is still a gamble. Personally, I would not play Russian Roulette with a revolver that has 1,000 chambers. That's just me. Yes people do have them, and if it is them that person who has it is probably known around the town of having it, if you catch my driftThat isn't really true. Even if it were, how exactly do you suppose the fact gets discovered? Drunken admission? No, some guy/girl who thinks "that will never happen to ME" finds out the hard way.
dreamergrl Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 Huh?? Stds are pretty darn common. People don't go around saying they have them, but go look up some statistics.....And those are just the reported cases. You do know people can have them and be asymptomatic right? So they wouldn't have big sores or cottage cheese...but still be passing it around. Thinking "only skanks have stds" is pretty dangerous. I was hoping someone would say this. I doubt your friends would call you up one night and say: "So, I've got herpes." Yeah, I get this phone call all the time. Sometimes I hear about it over brunch. Four guys in one month is a lot though. It actually does show (by statistics) that you could have landed yourself with hsv 1 or 2. 1 out of 4 have hsv 2. OP I personally think (if you are not a troll) that you're trying to hard.
Author JanaJ Posted May 2, 2009 Author Posted May 2, 2009 You make some great points. I noticed that i was never emotionally attached to any of these men. Maybe that's why it wasn't good, not because they weren't good.. Maybe I have to slow things down and find a guy that I really like and no matter how good he is i'll like it Thanks! And yes I did get tested and got nothing. Haven't been tested for swine flu though :/ joking...
You'reasian Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 Men's abilities in bed increase with their desire to impress and please. Usually, that means they won't try really hard for a one night stand. As a guy, what if I just enjoy the art of making love with a woman? Not trying to impress, just doing something that I really enjoy doing.
Kamille Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 As a guy, what if I just enjoy the art of making love with a woman? Not trying to impress, just doing something that I really enjoy doing. Oh yes, you love-making boys are definitely out there. I was trying to stress something that I feel others have said in other ways: you get four bad lovers in a row, you definitely need to reassess how you are meeting them. Janaj's post suggested a string of lovers she met in the club scene. My friends have reported that club hookups usually leave a lot to desire. If a man is into a quick wham bam thank you man, guess where he'll be hanging out? It doesn't mean he's always a bad lover. We all know any man has the potential to be a great lover!
dreamergrl Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 And yes I did get tested and got nothing. Haven't been tested for swine flu though :/ joking... If the month was recent, I'd keep getting tested, It could take up to 4 months to enter your blood system.
bac Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 Yes, they are all bad at bed for me. I have the same problem and I am in 40s. From what I know their best performance are the first and second time and then slowly it gets worse and worse. And finally it gets so bad that you can not even see them anymore. But it is only my personal experience. And my guys in 40s. I have tryied several guys for last several months as you. And all they are the same bad at bed. In fact I am not sure that we are talking about the same bad things because you did not specified what exactly was bad about your guys.
mental_traveller Posted May 10, 2009 Posted May 10, 2009 How do i know if a guy is good in bed by looking at him? Any suggestions???? You don't. You just have to shag them and see. Bear in mind though that bedroom performance is not a solo act. If your partner sucks, usually it is at least partly down to you too. If someone is ultra-horny then they will be at least ok in bed. If they aren't, then that's partly your fault for not making them hornier. So work on your technique too, maybe you just aren't doing it for them?
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