SimplyIzzy2010 Posted May 1, 2009 Posted May 1, 2009 Yesterday, my ex-boyfriend of 2 years, who strung me along for one, admitted that he had a new girlfriend, and that he wasn't going to tell me about her (to keep me waiting on him). The day before I had just confessed to him that I missed him more and more everyday, and that I couldn't stop loving him, which was bad, because he no longer loved me. To which he responded: Maybe this I feel is just a phase. I broke all contact with him when I found out about her. I told him never to speak to me again. It was the most difficult thing i've ever had to do. He asked me how could I. I asked how could he. I said: I can't talk to you. I need to get over you. I need to stop loving you. You've moved on. You're going to fall in love with her. And I just need to stop. To which he has the nerve to say: What if I don't fall in love with her? But I told him that it was over. I told him I didn't give a f*ck what he did with his life. He told me that he wanted to be in my life, because we had shared so much together. Why? I asked. Why, if you had a girlfriend, did you text me last night, and let me tell you that I missed you, and that I loved you, and that my dream was to go to Italy with you? Why didn't you stop me and say Hey, I have a girlfriend. ? I asked why he gave me hope by saying that maybe it was just a phase? To which you responded: What if it is just a phase? But I said no. I told him that I would never, never, ever forgive him for doing this to me. I cried. He called me "crazy". He told me it wasn't the end of the world. I told him that I never wanted to see him again. He said fine. whatever. And hung up on me. Did I do the right thing, breaking all contact? How do I deal with this pain, and with the pain of seeing them together? How do I deal with all the painful memories that overtake me? How do I deal with my awful self esteem that tells me that she's prettier than me? How can I forget him like he forgot me? How could he forget me so easily? When does the pain ease? How can I keep from slipping? When will I wake up and he not be the first thing on my mind? Did I do wrong, in cutting all ties, because he has a girlfriend now? How can I stop myself from thinking that by severing all ties with him I've lost my "one"? I need help. I need to start over.
EmperorR Posted May 1, 2009 Posted May 1, 2009 Stop listening to his words, actions speak louder than words. I've been cheated on by my ex fiance and dumped by this recent ex both times I got the "I love you, who knows what the future holds", But if they loved me they would have been with me right, if he loved you and missed you he would be with you not here REMEMBER THAT. Did I do the right thing, breaking all contact? Yes you did, he's scum, its time for you to let go fully and heal yourself How do I deal with this pain, and with the pain of seeing them together? You deal with the pain by cutting him out of your life, not contacting him, not fishing for information. What you don;t hear, what you can't see can't hurt you How do I deal with all the painful memories that overtake me? Keep yourself busy, the painful memories will fade in time trust me, let out your anger hurt frustration not to him but to your friends and family on here. How do I deal with my awful self esteem that tells me that she's prettier than me? Looks are nothing, they fade, what's sexy to one person may be ugly to another. See right now your confidence an self esteem is low, i know how it feels when your left for someone else, you feel ugly, no confidence that no one wants you etc. etc., but htis fades as well, realize you are a treasure and no one can change that. How can I forget him like he forgot me? He did not forget you, the feelings are just not as strong sa they once were, I can tell you right now really oyu don't really forget just the feelings fade, like think of your enemies in elementary or highschool, you don't care about them right? but you remember them still soon it will get to a point like that. How could he forget me so easily? See Above When does the pain ease? When you want it to, NC is the quickest way, if he's not around he can't hurt you and you can heal How can I keep from slipping? Stay Busy, hang out with your friends, read, write, travel, volunteer, keep your mind busy, when your not busy your mind wanders and then you think about the goodtimes, and get sad etc., keeping busy is the best, when he pops up in your mind think of something else, delete his number, remove any reminders, post on here:) When will I wake up and he not be the first thing on my mind? It takes time, took me about 7 months from my ex fiance, for everyone is different, one day you will wake up go throughout a day and then you'll be like oh wait I did not think of him/her today and smile Did I do wrong, in cutting all ties, because he has a girlfriend now? You did excellent, you have hall of famer stats never ever accept being a backup, never be a option in someones life.. How can I stop myself from thinking that by severing all ties with him I've lost my "one"? If he was the one he would be with you righ tnow hugging cuddling telling you how much he loves you, instead hes out probably getting laid by his new gf (sorry) I need help. I need to start over. You took the first step cutting him off, enjoy your freedom without this scum in your life.
Author SimplyIzzy2010 Posted May 1, 2009 Author Posted May 1, 2009 EmperorR- Thank you. Thank you for encouraging me in my decisions. It is really hard, very very hard, but you are so right. If he loved me, he would be here with me. I jus abhor the whole “what if in the future” thing. He is scum. Complete scum. And I deserve better. As do you. How are you feeling as of late? I’ve read a lot of your posts here and you are very, very inspirational. I know you pray for a good woman everyday, I pray to overcome.
EmperorR Posted May 1, 2009 Posted May 1, 2009 EmperorR- Thank you. Thank you for encouraging me in my decisions. It is really hard, very very hard, but you are so right. If he loved me, he would be here with me. I jus abhor the whole “what if in the future” thing. He is scum. Complete scum. And I deserve better. As do you. How are you feeling as of late? I’ve read a lot of your posts here and you are very, very inspirational. I know you pray for a good woman everyday, I pray to overcome. Yes it's one of the hardest things to ever do, you talk to that person daily for months years, they know you almost as well as you know yourself, you ponder how can they do this, if there at home thinking of you wanting to call like you but in reality deep down you know there not adn already your in the back of their head and it hurts. It sucks now but I know first hand that it gets better, just got to keep on going forward. As for me, I'm living I can't complain I guess, I have a job a roof over my head food in the fridge good health i could be worse. Just remember it's their loss.
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