Married4evr Posted May 1, 2009 Posted May 1, 2009 Everytime I want to see my parents and lately, especially my Dad who has been ill, my H gives me a bit of a hard time about it. My H will make comments like 'why do you want to go there?' 'Why see them?' He's close with his family but never ever visits them unless it's a holiday. I grew up close with my family and he knows that but he has for YEARS made me change my mind about visiting them because of his remarks. My H is going away on business for a few days and when I mentioned to him that I wanted to go visit my Dad, he made a comment to me which indicated that I should not go the day my H was going to travel. This happens frequently. My H wants me to be home the day he leaves and the day he arrives. It sounds fine but...I'm the one who has to rearrange my schedule and push things aside to accomodate him. Is he being selfish or am I?
Author Married4evr Posted May 1, 2009 Author Posted May 1, 2009 Wow!! Thank you. I missed soo many opportunities to see my parents bc of him. When my Dad was in the hospital, I prayed to God to let him live, and I promised to spend more time with him. My H makes it hard for me to do.
Snowflower Posted May 1, 2009 Posted May 1, 2009 A bit of a compromise might be in order here and a serious discussion with your husband. Have you talked with your husband about specifically why he doesn't want you to leave on the days he is returning/leaving for a business trip? Maybe he misses you and just wants to be able to see before he leaves and upon his return. I don't know. Absolutely, you you need to see your father as much as possible and your husband should understand this and make every attempt to make sure that you can go. However, IMO I don't think your H and his needs should be relegated to the bottom of the priority list. I'm not saying you are doing this-I'm just basing my response to what you have posted here. Yes, your husband is a big boy and can take care of himself but just take a look around these forums, particularly the infidelity forums and see what happens sometimes when a spouse feels neglected. I'm not saying your husband would cheat--obviously no one would be able to predict that. But, he could become resentful and resentment is damaging to any marriage. Talk to your husband--explain your need to see your father and listen to what he thinks, too!
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