confuzed25 Posted May 1, 2009 Posted May 1, 2009 So I spent the last year being single while I finished up nursing school. I got to take a long hard look at myself and what I wanted and I took care of myself, spent lots of time with friends, and was actually very happy being single. I am 2 weeks away from graduation and I figured it was time I could start dating again. Well I met this guy who seemed really great, we had a ton in common and I am actually pretty picky but he fit what I was looking for. We have been dating now for about a month, been exclusive for 2 weeks. When I was with him I felt like I could trust him and that I was safe with him...I had never felt like that with anyone before. He was really into me...saying I was perfect for him and that he had to pinch himself to make sure he wasnt dreaming and always telling me how much he liked me and missed me when I was away. His parents really like me too which is of course a good thing. Well the last 4 or 5 days he has been different....he still says he misses me and he still wants to see me whenever I have a night off but he used to write me a long text message in the morning and he no longer does, and the texts throughout the day have gotten fewer. Well him and I went out for dinner last night and he handed me his cell phone and told me to look at this picture his friend sent him through text message. then he said to scroll over and look at the other pictures. Well as I scrolled over there were the pictures and there were text messages to and from his ex girlfriend. One from his ex said something about wanting to come to his softball game this weekend but she probly shouldnt because of me and she also named one of his other ex's. He answered back saying he will make sure I am not there and it will be nice to see her in the stands again with a smiley face. That is all the farther I read and I handed him his phone back and acted like nothing was wrong. They sent those messages yesterday when he told me he was too busy to talk to me at work, she named me by name so hes obviously talked about me to her before, and she named one of his other ex girlfriends like she is still in the picture or something. Then he said he will make sure Im not there so she can come??? I was furious. When we got back to his house he kept asking me if something was wrong because I definitely was acting different. I finally came out and told him what I saw and we got into a big fight about it. He said that I was the only one he wants to be with and he really likes me and yes she texted him yesterday and he said she could come to his game but they've been broken up for a year and she has a boyfriend and he has a girlfriend. I told him that I have heard all this before and they always turned out to be lies and that Im not the kind of girl who puts up with this crap. I told him hes just not that important to me that I am going to risk getting hurt, and that Im not stupid so dont lie to me like Im stupid. I told him that he needs to stop playing games with me because I will not put up with it. He kept saying that Im the only one he wants to be with and that if I break up with him its going to suck. I just said whatever, ive heard all this before. well he got mad and said fine its no use in talking to you because you've heard it all before. thats the last thing we said to each other and we both eventually fell asleep. this morning he got up and got ready for work and kissed me on the forehead before he left but neither of us said a word. I have not heard from him since then, and that was 5 hours ago. I really dont know what to do...did I blow everything out of proportion or did I have a right to be mad? Does it sound like he wants to be with me or not? I would appreciate hearing some opinions...thank you
dreamergrl Posted May 1, 2009 Posted May 1, 2009 Been there, done that. Very recently actually. I'm starting to wish I took that as a sign to not get involved with the guy.
sotired Posted May 1, 2009 Posted May 1, 2009 Ex girlfriends only hang around if the guy wants them to. Granted there are some nut jobs that won't leave the guy alone....but most of the time...he's playing both sides and wants to keep the ex in the picture just in case. I'd dump him. There's no excuse to keep in that close contact with an ex unless they have children. And no guy will come out and say "I really just keep talking to my ex because I like having her as an option"....they always say "she's just a friend, she's in a new relationship, it's nothing!"
playlislay Posted May 1, 2009 Posted May 1, 2009 I dont mind partners being friends with an ex but when it comes to hiding them away from you or making sure that youre not around, then I would take that as a warning sign my friend. It doesnt mean that he is doing anything with her BUT it means he has the potential to lie.....about other women!!! I had this aaaalllll with my last ex, not good at all. He lied to me CONSTANTLY just to cover his back because he didnt have the balls to tell me that he was going to a gig with his ex-I dont mind this ex as she seems to be of no threat to me.....oh, wait, sorry, she seemED to be no threat to me. (I keep forgetting we are not togther....pfft!!!) A man with no balls to be upfront and honest is a loser, seriously. GET RID!!!
You'reasian Posted May 1, 2009 Posted May 1, 2009 I don't see any problem with someone being friends with an ex.... Some of my ex-es agree with me
Author confuzed25 Posted May 2, 2009 Author Posted May 2, 2009 its funny how guys can always make you feel guilty even when you did nothing wrong...i never officially told him that i was breaking up with him. i never said the words we are done or anything. but i did not hear from him once today...he kissed me on the forehead before he left for work today and that was the last i saw or heard from him. so i sign onto myspace a little bit ago and his status says *sitting here....* and he changed his mood to "annoyed." his profile also says he is single. so what the heck just happened? either he thinks i broke up with him.. or he broke up with me by changing his myspace. and why the heck should he be annoyed??? i did nothing wrong....i called him out on being a scumbag and hes annoyed at ME??? guys never fail to amaze me...the guy i dated before this did the same thing. i found out he was going behind my back with another girl and when i called him out on it he said I was the insecure one and made it all out to seem like it was my fault and i was crazy.
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