jj33 Posted May 3, 2009 Posted May 3, 2009 Bronte I still hate seeing MM most of the time. Depending on my mood I am fine around him or I am not. But the memories have not neutralized yet and its been a long long time since the relationship ended (which doesnt say great things about my state of mind I guess but there you go). So dont be surprised if you are aware of him in the workplace, just try to block it out and get on with your work. It will get easier with each day.
Author Bronte Posted May 4, 2009 Author Posted May 4, 2009 He was probably hoping she would contact him too with that sad act. He'll probably do it in a few days just to get a warm up. He may even claim that the latest contact caused a d-day in his home and he has to act soon. This one is really good at this game. Wonder how many affairs he's had.... Bronte....RUN, for your life and don't look back. This one isn't a keeper. You think that was a 'sad act'? I thought I was doing the right thing by telling him I wouldn' wait, shouldn't I have done that? I felt really proud of myself for telling him that. Yes a part of me hopes he changes his mind (of course, I'm in love!) but most of all I had to say it for myself. Hearing myself say it and saying it out loud to him was a big step for me as I know I'll stick to it now. It wasn't an idle threat, it was very difficult for me to do & it is something I WILL stick to, for my own good. No he's never ever had an affair before and is not deliberately playing any kind of game with me. I know in my heart that everything he told me was true and our feelings for eachother are very real. We are two people who fell in love at the wrong time. He's made his choice & all I want to do now is get on with my life. I think that by refusing all contact from him I am taking a first important step. If he ever comes to me to say: I'm leaving my wife, I want you....well I will tackle that if/when it comes. After posting on here for advice of course ;-)
Author Bronte Posted May 4, 2009 Author Posted May 4, 2009 The key is what happens next. It doesnt MATTER if he doesnt believe her, or if he takes it as a sign that she is waiting. What matters is what happens in Brontes head and whether she is waiting or whether her mind has changed and she is now in a moving forward frame of mind. Bronte you need to nail the door shut in your own mind. Close the chapter. Then it doesnt matter what he says or what he does. Every word that comes out of his mouth is just a code for "still married still married still married". Hold your head high tomorrow. Thank you! That's exactly what I'm trying to say. I have some great friends supporting me in this, thank goodness, so any time I feel I'm going to cave I'll call one of them. Tomorrow (Tuesday) is our first day at work together and I'm dreading it. Today I walked in and just about fell to pieces, and he's not even here! It's going to a rotten day tomorrow and all of this week, but I've booked myself up with appts and lunchdates, which will help.
White Flower Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 Bronte, GEL is right. Having said that, you need to surround yourself with friends. Go out, tell silly jokes, and try not to be alone too much. This will get you through. Hugs, WF.
boldjack Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 B, Your decision to move on with your life was, I'm sure, not easy. You have every reason to be proud of yourself for making it. Most MM's will take the easy way out and try to keep the OW "on the Hook" . By not playing his game you have freed yourself from his control and can live your life as a confident, mature woman and Lady. My congratulations and best wishes.
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