I am so upset

[jqb05443]

Here we go lol. I am 30 my ex bf is 33 and both lived at home. When I met him he owned his own home with his ex gf that they were selling. He lived in the house until it was sold a year after we were dating. He then moved back home and the relationship def changed a bit after that as I still lived at home and now he was home and we didn't have as much privacy. We dated for just under 3.5 years. We lived approximately 45 mins away from eachother and saw eachother every single weekend. I would either spend the whole weekend at his parents or he would spend the whole weekend at my house. He was let go from his job about a month ago but he has a side tax practice that is successful and that kept him busy until the end of tax season. That was the week be broke up wih me. Everything seemed to be going well (so i thought) until 2 weeks ago when he annoyed me and i hung up the phone on him and then sent him a text that i felt like this was no longer relationship anymore. He agreed with me and then called me back a few minutes later and said that he was confused and that he didn't know what he wanted anymore. He said he didn't know if there was anything we can even do to fix it. He felt the spark was gone. I then asked him that the first question he needed to ask himself before we even continued our conversation was whether or not he even wanted to try to fix it and he said he did. He said I will come over tomorrow and we will talk about how we can make it work.

 

Saturday came and I never heard from him in the morning which was unusual. When I called him he didn't return my call and text me that he was getting his brakes done and that he would call me when he was done. I text him back ok and then asked him if he was going to come over and he said no. I knew right there it was over. When he did call me back he basically said that he thought it over the night before and that there is nothing that we can do to fix it. He knew i wanted to get married and he couldn't give me that. I tried to give him ideas on what we could do but he didn't want to listen so i let him go. We went a whole week with no communication until i finally broke down on monday and started texting him. The texts were just hello and asking eachother how we were doing. I asked him if he would be up to talking or seeing eachother and he said we would see how it goes. I asked him if he needed more time and he said no. Then tuesday i called him and he never called me back. I text him that i was sorry for calling but figured it was ok to after our text on monday. He then text me back and said its fine to call him he was just busy and was off to watch the ranger playoffs game. They lost and i text him if he we could talk and he said he didnt feel like talking cuz he was cranky about the rangers losing. Then wednesday i text him again and we exchanged short text and he told me he has been going to Atlantic City since we broke up and that he was leaving last night to go. I asked him if he was going next week because i wanted to see if he was up to meet. He told me he was going next week tu, wed, thurs. I then text him if he would be up for maybe meeting for coffee and i never heard back from him again? I don't understand? I text him if he wasn't up for it just to be honest and he never text me back. I tried texting him again today and apologized for overstepping my boundaries but i still consider him a friend. Again i never heard from him. I know he is in Atlantic City but what did I do wrong? He was fine with our communicating until I asked him that and then never heard from him again.

 

I am so upset i don't know what to do anymore. I love him and want him back so bad. Should I just show up at his house on Monday and make him hear me out? I feel like I need to see him one last time so I can have closure as this break up really came out of nowhere. Any advice?

[broken heart 19]

You really need to stop contacting him completely. Let him have his space. That is obviously what he wants. You are just pushing him further away by texting and calling him all the time. I know it is really difficult, but you just need to be strong. Maybe if you don't contact him, he will realize how much he misses you and end up apologizing and getting a hold of you! You should just go out and start dating and be happy! Use this time to your advantage and get to know yourself. You are the only one that can make you happy. Good luck I hope everything works out for you!

[falseprophet]

Honestly, I think you are acting a little silly, I don't mean that in a mean way so please don't get offended. He is going through a hard time in his life, he split out a serious relationship, he lost his house, moved back in with his parents, lost his job and his secondary income is only good for a few months out of the year. I think that he needs space and time and you have to be willing to give him that. You should stop sending him texts and stop calling him. You have to realize that if the truly wants the relationship to end then there is not much you can do to fix that. All relationships are two sided battles, it takes both of you to make it work. If he doesn't want it to work you are gunna get hurt and feel abused in the long run.

 

He may just need time to look at his life and figure out what hes doing. If he really cares for you he will see that and he will come back of his own accord. You need to be strong and realize that he may never come back. It will be hard to accept that but it is something you must do. He is trying to clear his mind of everything that is troubling him (going to the rangers game, atlantic city) hes trying to expose himself to things that won't remind him of everything else going on and the best way to be supportive is to stay on the sidelines and not smother him. Again, if he wants to be with you he will. If not, im sorry, but you have to accept that.