saldep Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 well here goes, i married the girl of my dreams 8 years ago after a 16 year relationship with ex(the kids mom) and was divorced for 2 years before we met,i found some text mess from some guy at her work,and she said it was just having fun and nothing was going on but the mess's did not imply that. any way we had a big fight about it and she left moved out with a friend,that was 19 mnths ago, after a couple weeks we started seeing each other again spending weekends together and barbecues and such,that lasted about a year then she moved out of her friends and got her own apt now she we hardly talks to me, but she says she still cares and would like to work it out, we went to dinner and a movie and ran into her exs best friend after saying hi, he comes off and says (im not going to say anything) so i asked her what that was about and she says nothing was going on and that his friend is just an a***********hole. our marriage was pretty good normal stuff no meaness or disrespect,to each other we were buddies. she says she just needs more time and if i dont want to wait,she understands?? Dont know what to do, i am a christian and dont believe in divorce, unless of coarse infidel. what to do
BCCA Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 It sounds to me like this woman is stringing you along. You called her out on innapropriate texts, and she leaves, and then gets her own place? Notice there was no desire to make you feel secure or explain herself, only anger and walking away. Mark my words, when a woman you used to live with gets her own place instead of moving back with you, youre not part of her long term plans. Everything you've said sounds sketchy, starting with the text message fiasco, and the ex's friend that didnt even want to talk to her (probably because she F'd over his friend). she says she just needs more time and if i dont want to wait,she understands?? She doesnt even care if you leave her...dude, thats just wrong. Sounds like she just needs more time to find someone else, and then youre history. She's stringing you along, I would bet on it.
seibert253 Posted May 1, 2009 Posted May 1, 2009 You're plan B, a backup in case all else fails. You deserve better. I am also a Christian, but a marriage takes two committed persons to survive. She's not committed to you, but to herself. She's very selfish for stringing you along for so long. Time to stop taking this crap. See a lawyer, file for divorce, and have her served. God does have a special person for you, and only you. I do not think it's her.
Author saldep Posted May 1, 2009 Author Posted May 1, 2009 You're plan B, a backup in case all else fails. You deserve better. I am also a Christian, but a marriage takes two committed persons to survive. She's not committed to you, but to herself. She's very selfish for stringing you along for so long. Time to stop taking this crap. See a lawyer, file for divorce, and have her served. God does have a special person for you, and only you. I do not think it's her. thanks, your probably right but im 47 shes 45 with 3 kids and im not interested in the dating scene, maybe when i least expect it someone will be there,i keep praying for strenghth,also i dont know if i could handle going thru a divorce, see scince she left ive strugled to keep up on house payments even drained my 401k to, but -house is in foreclosure now and gave an attorney what little bit i had left and not looking to good right now, I know i need to focus on the house, job and family instaed of her but, GOD knows i love her.
CaliGuy Posted May 1, 2009 Posted May 1, 2009 OP, I am sorry about your situation. Cling to the hope that you have in God, because you know these trials will bring to light His plan for you. Might I suggest a book called "Love Must Be Tough" by Dr. James Dobson (Christian Psychologist). Lots of good advice in there to help you repair your marriage if it's at all possible. I'll keep praying for you that things work out....just hold your faith strong. Cheers
Author saldep Posted May 1, 2009 Author Posted May 1, 2009 thanks i will check it out,i did the 40 day fireproof and nothing changed, i gave her a copy of the book and the movie about a week ago??have you heard of the movie and or book? really good. im going to start nc today, god bless.
CaliGuy Posted May 1, 2009 Posted May 1, 2009 thanks i will check it out,i did the 40 day fireproof and nothing changed, i gave her a copy of the book and the movie about a week ago??have you heard of the movie and or book? really good. im going to start nc today, god bless. I've heard of the movie but have not read the book. My question for you is why are you starting NC now? Are you hoping that brings her back? I would grab a copy of the book I suggested and heed the advice there. It may not fix your marriage but it will tell you whether you should keep trying or move on with your life.
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