start-fresh Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 Well, I'm going to be graduating from college on Saturday and I feel like everything's so surreal right now. I just took my last college final and walked out of my department building for the last time as a student. My campus is relatively small, ~7,0000 people so a lot of people know each other and it's just weird saying goodbye to all these people I probably won't ever see again. I'm one of the lucky ones, I guess you could say. I got a decent job, although I have to move back to my small home town and am worried I'll get into a rut there. I moved away from home to college where I didn't know anybody and grew a lot as a person. I just feel like a failure because I couldn't find anything else. So those of you that have experienced this, how did you work through it? I'm leaving college single, as I was all four years and I just feel like I have nobody in my life that really cares and nothing that is constant. All of my friends are either still in school or dispersing around the country. I know the prospect of meeting new people goes down so much after you graduate and I'm worried if I couldn't meet a girl to have a serious relationship with in college how can I after? I'm just looking for some insight here from people that have been in this situation.
WTRanger Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 Your life is just beginning. In this economy, be glad you have a job coming out of college. You just need to set some goals for yourself. Say in 2-3 years after you get some work experience, then try to move out into the city where you would like to live. Don't put so much pressure on relationships and marriage right out of college. Focus on yourself, your career and you'll meet someone down the line. For some reason everyone thinks that if they aren't engaged or in a serious relationship by the time you graduate college then your life is over. In fact, your life is just starting. Believe me, you are not a failure. You are walking away with a college degree and that's a lot. I graduated college in 2003, moved 2300 miles away and for 5 years everything was going well. This year, I lose my job and have since moved back 2300 miles into my moms home. I'm heading back to school for a masters degree, but I still can't completely shirk the feelings of failure. So I really know what it feels like to think that you are a failure. Your not. Everything is just unknown for you right now. I remember when I took my last final, I walked across campus as I was stunned that it was all over. I didn't know what I was going to do with my life and if the last 4 years was worth it. Did I really want to do what I got my degree in? In the end, it all turned out better than I could ever imagine. Even with the lay off of my job and moving back across the country. Things will work out for you. Just set goals and go after them.
kizik Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 Your life is just beginning. In this economy, be glad you have a job coming out of college. You just need to set some goals for yourself. Say in 2-3 years after you get some work experience, then try to move out into the city where you would like to live. Don't put so much pressure on relationships and marriage right out of college. Focus on yourself, your career and you'll meet someone down the line. For some reason everyone thinks that if they aren't engaged or in a serious relationship by the time you graduate college then your life is over. In fact, your life is just starting. Believe me, you are not a failure. You are walking away with a college degree and that's a lot. I graduated college in 2003, moved 2300 miles away and for 5 years everything was going well. This year, I lose my job and have since moved back 2300 miles into my moms home. I'm heading back to school for a masters degree, but I still can't completely shirk the feelings of failure. So I really know what it feels like to think that you are a failure. Your not. Everything is just unknown for you right now. I remember when I took my last final, I walked across campus as I was stunned that it was all over. I didn't know what I was going to do with my life and if the last 4 years was worth it. Did I really want to do what I got my degree in? In the end, it all turned out better than I could ever imagine. Even with the lay off of my job and moving back across the country. Things will work out for you. Just set goals and go after them. F*CKING GREAT POST. Listen to your friend WTR, he's a cool dude.
Errant Posted May 11, 2009 Posted May 11, 2009 You aren't alone- I just graduated and could've written the exact same post. I know that I got stuck in a rut in school dating-wise: I mostly hung out with one group that I don't think ever got past thinking of me as the awkward guy I was freshman year, and got more and more frustrated as they kept pairing off without me.
Glenn Quagmire Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 I got news for all you guys ... in about 10 years you're going to look back on your college days and you won't remember peoples names ... what they looked like ... which classes you took ... where English 103 was ... and you'll REALLY freak out. Then, your wife will tell you to pay attention because your kid is playing too close to the pool, the dog just ate a package of hotdogs and the gutters need to be cleaned. You might actually cry.
lazlow99 Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 I'm graduating next year. I will miss it and miss my friends, but I've got enough planned and I'm really looking forward to it too. I've grown as a person more in the last 2 years than I ever would've done staying at home, my self confidence is greatly improved and overall its been a great experience. I've had a couple of relationships but nothing serious. I've got another year left so if it happens it happens, but I just see graduation as opening another chapter in my life.
WTRanger Posted May 18, 2009 Posted May 18, 2009 The whole marriage and kids sham, you have to avoid it post college if you are not ready for it. For whatever reason there is still tremendous social pressure to get married and start crapping out kids almost immediately after you graduate. Basically if you aren't engaged right after you graduate, society assumes there must be something wrong with you. Well, society is damn wrong. Take some time for yourself. Travel, explore, spend your new found paycheck on the most important person in your life. You. If you meet someone along the way, that's great. If not, that's great too!
Author start-fresh Posted May 22, 2009 Author Posted May 22, 2009 I got news for all you guys ... in about 10 years you're going to look back on your college days and you won't remember peoples names ... what they looked like ... which classes you took ... where English 103 was ... and you'll REALLY freak out. Then, your wife will tell you to pay attention because your kid is playing too close to the pool, the dog just ate a package of hotdogs and the gutters need to be cleaned. You might actually cry. Thanks for those words of encouragement. I know you're just being honest, unfortunately. And I agree with you kizik, great posts by WTR. Thanks.
hockey4life Posted May 22, 2009 Posted May 22, 2009 im in the same boat kiddo cept im graduating highschool and i had some1 there for me but we broke up. i totally feel that whole im alone in the world nonsense and u just gotta keep urself active, go clubbin **** like that. the girls arent just gonna come 2 u, u gotta go get them. and no girl is gonna want some depressed guy either u just stop thinkin bout all this stuff and go out there and have fun, things will start rolling ur way, trust me it'll work. and ur nowhere near a failure people would kill to be in ur position, u gotta stop thinkin ur thinkin way 2 much man just chill out and have a good time no worries bro. take a deep breathe and relax, its gonna b ight
gracielou Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 i graduated just over a year ago... its a weird transition, however the year flies by so fast. Soon enough you settle into post-college life and you find that its not that bad. You keep in touch with your friends through facebook and aim, maybe do a few mini reunions when people are in town. September is weird because its the first time that your not moving your stuff again into a new dorm or apartment to start classes all over again. You can't run down the hall anymore or even next door to bug your best friend. That was probably the weirdest thing for me, that and the fact that I am now the TA that suppose to know the answers to everything. My friends and i have ended up in grad school all over the country, which is weird but its also nice to have people to visit when you travel. There is life after graduation. Just give it time.
colosseum Posted May 23, 2009 Posted May 23, 2009 I got news for all you guys ... in about 10 years you're going to look back on your college days and you won't remember peoples names ... what they looked like ... which classes you took ... where English 103 was ... and you'll REALLY freak out. Then, your wife will tell you to pay attention because your kid is playing too close to the pool, the dog just ate a package of hotdogs and the gutters need to be cleaned. You might actually cry. LMAO Wow I can't wait. Great screen name btw, Quagmire. I'll be graduating a year from now so i bet i'll be sharing many of the same feelings as you are, but I hope you can do what you can to turn your fears into hope and wonder of the unknown. Who knows! Life is just beginning. and as per meeting new people, I'd say only you can make that work--put yourself out there for people to meet a great person, and for you to meet others. i dont know since i haven't graduated yet, but joining a gym, clubs, various societies, AA meetings (jk ) i'm sure there are opportunities out there. But I'm excited for you! Best of luck!!
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