IfIwereabird Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]So I am so broken hearted. Why cant I stop thinking about the other woman, how much better she is than I. How much more beautiful she is, How much more put together she may be. I feel like she must be some hell of a woman to make my husband abandon me and his 3 young children. In fact he has been seeing this woman soo long term that he has not been there for the kids. The other part that makes me sad is that he carried on this affair for years. Again this woman must be really great. He has experienced so much out of life with her while isolating me and the kids. Wow she must be amazing! This is not how it was supposed to be!. He says that he admits to all wrong doing and being the bad guy in our marriage. Is this suppose to make me feel better. He also says that he is not going to fight me in court..whatever I want I will get. I feel like he is taking the easy way out ! So here we are ..Over 14 years of marriage. Cheating the whole time. I loved him the hwole time and believed that we could work whatever the issues were. (Little did I know that the issues were that he had another woman) He is sooo calm and collective while I am suffering with the children. What kind of person does this to someone? For me the pain is so devastating. And that great woman!! Man do I hate her and the idea of her. How can he be soo happy knowing that he destroyed 4 peoples lives. We are all sad because he is no longer around. He has abandoned us. Will I ever be ok? Will this aching pain ever go away? Will I someday feel like I want to live again? What do people do? Why can’t I stop thinking about this woman? Her beauty, her sexual prowess? And the fact that she is better that me and my children. [/sIZE][/FONT]
FragileSwan Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 He's afraid of losing you, so he's going straight to divorce. He doesn't believe there is any way for you to forgive him, and he can't forgive himself. If I were you, I would throw a fit, but after you get done, don't talk about divorce with him. Just say this: "You broke my heart, and I hate that other woman. You are married to me. I am your wife, not her. I am the mother of your children. Here's what I want to do. If you promise never to see her again, and you promise to sleep somewhere besides with me, for two weeks, until I see if I can forgive you, I may be able to. Then, tell us how it goes. If you won't stand up for yourself, no one else will. It's reprehensible what he did, and it boggles the mind how a husband could ever do something like that to his wife, but men are bad, all of them, if you allow them to be. A woman has a job to do: Keeping a husband. That other woman is no better than you. She's a sleaze bag adulteress. I know you're mad, like a nest of hornets. You are the mother of your husband's children. That gives you a distinct advantage over the other woman. Don't play the divorce game. Stand up for your marriage, and don't take no for an answer. If it helps you, throw him out for a week. But make sure you get that promise before you do. Play on his masculine side. Let him know that he is the head of your family, and you and the kids need him with you. You aren't going to forgive him right away, because you can't, but he is important to you. Then tell him he is never going to see that OW again. Finally, confront the OW, and tell her to stay away from your husband, or you won't be responsible for what happens next. OWs back down every time. But you have to raise your voice to her, and wave your finger in her face, and look angry, like a pit bull terrier.
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